Alcoholism

Day 9 here, NEET. Can't fix my sleep schedule for the life of me. Nothing seems to work, also tried pulling an all-nighter and going to bed at a reasonable time.
Since I have no reason to get up I just sleep as much as I can.

I can't. Told myself a few months ago ill just drink once and ill be fine. Im an addict/alcoholic though. I dont think ill ever be able to just have a few drinks.

Try getting a job or a hobby to keep you from drinking. If i just sat in my house all day i would go crazy

I have no urge to drink whatsoever, that isn't the problem. Getting a job might be detrimental to the effort since I can only get low tier jobs that for a multitude of reasons piss me off. I'll study again but only in 6 months.

just woke up it's 9:20 no work today time to hit the liquor store

>23 days sober
>4 days ago, have 1 beer at lunchtime
>drink another 30ish
>back on 2-3 bottles of vodka daily
Yeah. I'm gonna die. Fuck.

i guess at some point we're going to have to realize the "have just one" meme is a fucking joke. and a dangerous one at that because it gives real booze hounds a false confidence.

also what's up with my eyes and face looking all swollen and sunken in after a week long hard bender? chronic dehydration?

>chronic dehydration?

Probably, you need to drink shit loads of water when you drink

I'm also on day 4. I've been using kratom every night and that's been taking the edge off. Highly recommend.

I met so many people in rehab that were back after completing he program and being out a couple weeks after doing this dumb shit.
>make it a month or two sober
>figure they have control
>drink a couple beers Monday night
>fine
>have a few Tuesday night
>fine
>by Friday, they're back to hammering plastic bottle vodka and they lost their new job
>Back in rehab Sunday

Get it through your thick skulls, people

Not had a drink since Sunday.
Got no money but got £10 voucher for my local ale shop which I'm resisting to spend... trying to drink a lot less than before and so far it's actually working (not that you can do anything about it when you've got no money).
Well in the mood for a strong dark rum.

Well, that's the really scary thing. I realised years ago that I can't have any. ANY. But I did it anyway, knowing full well what would happen. It's like I went into autopilot mode, like I wasn't in control. Even as I picked up the trampnectar from the shelf I was silently screaming, Knowing fully well that it was all just going to start again. I went home, cracked it open, downed it in one go, then bought a few ciders, and a crate of 24 Stellas. I do not know what's wrong with me, I do not know what to do.
Truth. I've just been drunk for so long (23 years) I am not sure I can ever function without it. I think I may actually rather die. I wish this shit, every molecule of it, could simply be banished from the universe eternally.

I've gone from 6-10 beers every weeknight and more on the weekends to 7 beers in the last 15 days. Thank you desipramine.

No. One drink ends up being 15. I tried once, it's like skittles. You can go without, but if you have only one, you need at least 4 more to feel satisfied with having it.

Tomorrow is my ex's 3rd anniversary so I've been getting trashed since Valentine's Day. Currently at work with a bottle of sake feeling pretty dazed and out of it. Tomorrow is going to be a hell of a night when it comes to the bottle. Be safe, boys.

>Tomorrow is my ex's 3rd anniversary
wat

I had a girlfriend, she's now my ex girlfriend, she got married 3 years ago as of tomorrow. What's not to get?

Can I have your stuff

That's kind of what I was thinking, but I was hoping it wasn't as pathetic as that.

Grow the fuck up, dude

I never want another relationship as long as I live. Fucking eight years since I screwed it up with her, she still dominates my thoughts. Hasn't spoken to me for over a year, hasn't said anything nice to me in around five years. Still love her like mad, only girl I've ever legitimately been in love with.
Reading her Facebook update one night, complete with the news that she is engaged, did not work wonders for my ability to reduce my alcohol intake.

OP here, not for me.

Eh, it was a Jr high to 19 years old thing for us. She got a new boyfriend about 2 weeks after we called it off, she kept in touch, ended up cheating on her bf with me then one day just deleted me from her life. She got engaged a month later and here I am. My boss was actually the minister at their wedding, so I'm constantly reminded.

holy shit man up no wonder she left you

>that one know-it-all kid
Hush now.

Lets say I have 10 drinks, but Im determined to not drink the day after.

Determination is fine and all, but talk to the needle freak who swears it's his last bender.

Ha I thought that too

People like us just can't drink man

I decided this yesterday as well. But now I'm hankering to walk to the liquor store again. Man, this sucks.

Its def not too late to stop

Okay. Just went to a place I never wanted to visit again. Ghetto as fuck, but every drug you could ever need. Picked up 20 lorazepam x 1mg for £25, and tomorrow I WILL. NOT. FUCKING. DRINK. I am DONE with this fucking nightmare.
This needs to work. Now or fucking never.
>halp

Don't listen to these defeatist faggots. Only you know what will test your willpower, and you might need to try to find out. Some people can drink and stop, others can't. It depends largely on the situation too - if you are having a meal round a friend's and are offered a glass or two of wine, you might find it easy to leave it at that. If you are planning on buying booze specifically to drink a little by yourself, that's going to be much harder to moderate.

This. I drink at dinner on special occasions and no longer chug it all. I used to get really drunk on special occasions. But now I only drink if others are going to drink more than the couple of glasses of wine.

I'm going to the bar with a friend this weekend and he's driving, so we'll probably only have 2 beers each.

Can't strictly say I've been "sober." My wife and I shared a bottle of wine at dinner last Saturday, but that was it.

Yesterday, I cooked something that had beer in it, so I bought a big bottle, used half anday drank the rest. About the equivalent of a 12oz beer. And that was it.

With those exceptions, I haven't had had a drunk on almost a week. And I was coming off a major bender, so normal "can't sleep, feel like shit" stuff for a few days. Feel great today, though.

>it's a muh trying to stay sober episode

Why don't you faggots fuck off to an AA meeting and do your crying there?

>primarily drink out of boredom and anxiety
>last night
>nothing planned for the night, nothing to do but dick around on the internet
>incredibly bored
>for some reason, feel absolutely no desire to drink whatsoever, and the thought actually sounds completely unappealing
>spend a night bored and sober

...What the fuck is going on?
This is not the life I live
Is this how normal people feel about alcohol?
Am I just... Happy?

>tfw had an outbreak of gout

Nothing will get you to cut back on drinking quicker

I used to drink daily, but not too much daily, I would have about a double shot of vodka in a glass of sprite in the evening. That would usually do it for me. If I got really fucked up, I would grab a six pack of beer from my local gas stations, and I would get smashed and have about 3 or 4 shots (maybe more) of whiskey straight, and then start getting into the beers. Weed was also something I was about so I would get decently high as well.

It just got to the point where alcohol stopped being a special occasions thing and became a daily occurrence and I didn't want that at all, so i stopped after a wedding party on 12/27(?)/16.

I've been clean since then and I feel a shit ton better and I've been doing better in school and at work

>If you are planning on buying booze specifically to drink a little by yourself, that's going to be much harder to moderate.

This was my problem lads, beware.

i drink heavy 4 times a week. but im 21. thats normal,right?

>8 years

thats not normal lol

seek professional help or fuck a hooker. indulge in drugs or something else, move to a different country or god knows what. but change something, youre not sane

I've told my GP, I've been to CBT, I'm on seroxat rn, i've been addicted to crack, heroin, cocaine, weed, benzos and meth, I've overdosed on codeine and diazepam – resulting in my be locked on a secure ward, I've been to jail 3 times because of her and I would let her kill me if it made her happy. Love is a brutal thing.

Turns out all the grown-ups were right about drinking alone. I always really loved it, downing G&T's or malt liquor by my self, watching a movie or something.
After the Cubs won the World Series, I was fucking shitfaced, I walked home from the bar, started banging more gin, and ended up bullying my girlfriend so badly she broke up with me. Good call on her part.
The next morning I dumped everything I owned down the drain. Very cathartic. Would recommend. I cut open the beers with a knife so they'd spray over my hands, still get that aroma and whatnot. Savored watching that gin swirl around the drain.
I never intended it to be forever, just a period to get my head straight and stop drinking reactionarily. Made it about a month and a half, and when I did have that first drink back, I made damn sure that I wasn't drinking for any bad reasons. I've still had periods where I've overindulged, worried a bit about it. I'm doing quite well now, comparatively. But the one thing I've never backed down from, was never drinking alone. Even if it means knocking back a pint at the end of a bar, by myself, talking to no one. No more of these feral nights in my apartment.
When there's other people around you (or, speak for myself, around me) you can still get quite drunk, but there's an upper limit. Drinking alone, in the dark, with your own bottle, I just drink and drink and drink until I'm unconscious. The sky is the limit, if that. And THAT'S no good.

Can you put me in your will now?

here
apologies for the blog post

Or maybe you could, I dunno, not read the thread?

Breh that's not love that's just mental illness

Day 3 dry
Really hate myself and how my body looks atm
Wanting off this ride
How are you doing folks?

Blogs are ok in al/ck threads user. We're all used to shitposts/shitposting and general rambling. Have at it.

There are people who drank heavily at that age, and organically had that behavior fade away as they matured.
There are people who, at that age, were perfectly sociable, light drinkers, who are currently laying face down in a gutter.
And there's plenty of people who drank too much at that age, and never got it off their back.

The way that is called "the way" is not the way. Truth is a pathless land. Check yourself, don't take others' stories as a guide to your own, believe it or not, you're unique. Life is not a paved road, it's wandering through a field, you leave the path behind you as you go. Occasionally stop to make sure you're headed in the right direction.

Nah, I really do love that girl. Before her I dated 13 other grils, I thought I was in love with one of them – with whom I spent seven years, but it wasn't until I got with her that I realised how intense human emotions can be.
I know she loves me too. It's so obvious. Her fiancé looks just like me and has the same interests/hobbies, plus I know she occasionally stalks me online, checking up on what I'm doing. W/e mang. At least since I fucked things up with her, I'm no longer plagued by the stress of craving sex; if it's not with her I can barely bring myself to fucking bother.
Brb alcohol.

Hi I want to get into being an alcoholic but I have no money.
Any advice?

steal mouthwash

Dont

Brew your own.
For the bare minimum, baker's yeast, white sugar, water.
If you buy champagne yeast online (50 cents a packet!) it'll taste better and ferment to a significantly higher ABV.
If, rather than just sugarwater, you actually brew with juice (apple or grape are best, though you will need to add additional sugar) it'll taste better, and potentially be something actually worth drinking for more than just the alcohol.

I was a broke 19 year old once, if I could do it, so could you. Look into homebrewing.

i went sober for a year and it was the best decision i could have made at the time

now im back on the wagon and its pretty fucking good, just gotta be careful to not go off the deep end again

i think quitting for good would probably be the best thing but i cant imagine a life of complete sobriety, id go nuts

I thought off the wagon was when you are drinking, and on the wagon is when you are sober.

Am I really this retarded to have it wrong? I've seen multiple people in these threads say this, but I've never heard it that way in my entire life.

Yeah dude it's off the wagon when you resume drinking, I was right.
The fuck is it with you retards?

>When you 'fall off the wagon', you go back to drinking alcohol in large quantities after having abstained from it for a while.

I"m an alcoholic. I go to meetings drunk and pretend I'm sober.

How fucked up is that? I don't deserve this 30 day chip.

Nice. How does it feel?

Giving up liquor was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.

But the clarity that I feel right now makes it all worthwhile.

I can honestly say I will never drink again, ever.

i could go without alcohol if i had a pill to knock me out before bed. like pain pills i could get hooked on because it makes night time easier. shame, cause im getting blackout drunk nightly to sleep, and im getting pains in my lower back

k lahey

im starting to lose focus during the day, like ill catch myself and be like, what was i doing just now. i feel like im going to be the person that gets called crazy because my mind is scrambled

all while finishing my 13th shot of 101 right now

I drink about 20 beers on fridays or saturdays

thats it.

I've got two 24 hour chips. I was privately questioned if I had been drinking after a meeting once. I said yeah, and everything was civil and fine, but I went to one more meeting and then just left. Didn't want to lie, managed to cutdown on my drinking somewhat without help.

They're called sleeping pills, bro. Had some prescribed years back and within 30min I was fast asleep.

Good for you, OP. Made it further than some.

>be 18
>can't drink legally
>alcoholism runs in both sides of my family
>like the taste of alcohol
>probably will never drink b/c I don't want to be an alcoholic

4 months here but only because i was hospitalized

it's...really...really fucking hard for me to stop before i end up going on a 5 day long bender and ending in the psych ward...

i can go like a week maybe but fuck

once i start again i'm as good as gone, it's just a matter of time until i lose control

is this bad?

>I can honestly say I will never drink again, ever.
You cannot think like this. The reason every program touts "1 day at a time" is because it's the truth. You have no idea what's going to happen in 2 or 20 years or whatever. Being in la la land is just going to let you get complacent.

Sounds like you're going through pink cloud syndrome

that post was a quote from the show Trailer Park Boys

the character (Jim Lahey, the trailer park supervisor) is pretending to be sober while carrying around a water bottle filled with vodka all day

Don't fall for the "just one drink" meme. I was clean and sober for six months after winding up in the ER with internal bleeding from drinking three fifths of whiskey over three days every single week for months on end. Then I had just one beer. Then just another. Then I might as well go to liquor because I'd be ingesting fewer calories ("It's actually a decision I'm making for my health!", I convinced myself). I'm back up to half of what I drank back in January 2016 already.

Once you get out, stay out. Don't look back.

Its me again, gotta finish this bottle from yesterday.

I like this daily post It makes me feel less alone.

1 is too many and a thousand is never enough, user.

Been sober for a little more than 2 years. Help will always be out there if anyone is ready to take the first step.

Also willing to answer any AA/NA related questions anyone has.

Why does AA focus on the past so much

I don't want to think about the fucked up things I did on various substances

nigga he said hes never going to drink again

how is that complacent

I much prefer
"I'm on top of the liquor. I am the monkey in charge of the bananas!"

Jim Lahey is a drunken bastard.

I spent about 6 months regularly going to meetings before I started working on things from my past.

The reason for it is because the reason why Alcoholics (at least me) Drink has to do with a combination of childhood trauma and shameful acts during my addiction.

If nothing changes in the way I live my life, I condemn myself to the same way of thinking that made drinking the only escape.

>watching after season 4
yikes

have any of you guys weaned off drink onto pot instead? has this worked?

Oh, here's a good one. Why does AA have an 90%+ recidivism rate, but it's NEVER the program's fault?

>you slip up and drink
YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH
DO THE 12 STEPS AGAIN
GO TO MORE MEETINGS
DO YOU HAVE A SERVICE COMMITMENT?
>you succeed and stay sober
MAKE SURE TO PASS IT ON BUDDY

Come to think of it, that is coincidentally where I stopped.
But, as someone trying to stay on top of the liquor, to be the monkey in charge of the bananas, I really loved that clip
Considered getting me a breathalyzer!

do they actually work well? how do i get prescribed some?

I'll admit I might be a special case, but as drunk as I've ever been, I've never made the same regrets that I have on weed.
I feel guilty a bit if I drink too much, but about as bad as it's gotten is friends getting annoyed that I wanna get fuckin' rip-torn instead of knocking back a beer or two on a quiet night casually. But even when I get there, I don't cause a ruckus.
Meanwhile, a couple months of regularly smoking weed, my friends called an intervention, I had my best friends threatening to kick my ass I was getting so out of hand. I gave it up, but recently I considered buying a vape and getting back into it and I had them fuckin' horrified.

Weed ain't for everybody. And, personal experience aside, I've never bought into the "it's harmless, natural, candy!"
Maybe give kratom a try?

Ordered 500 grams of kratom online. I find just the idea of having something at home to relax a bit with stops me from stopping at the liquor store on the way home.

Only problem is that instead of getting used to doing a toss n wash or making a slurry i'm actually developing a gag reflex to it and have almost puked it up a few times.

i hear ya, i used to smoke too much also, quit cause it gave me panic attacks, a year later i started drinking alone, that was 10years ago. id like to go back to weed cause although it might make me stupid, it wont rot my organs..ihear high cbd strains are good for anxiety, i was hoping to transition to that

>I do not know what's wrong with me, I do not know what to do.
I know that feel

sort yourself out

I didn't find the taste bad at all. Kinda just like a really bitter green tea. Apparently I'm in the minority there.
I ordered 100g off some reddit user, thinking I could use it as a substitute for "boozing myself to the floor to loosen up around people whenever I go out" (cheaper, to boot). So far I only tried it once, 2g. Would have to try a larger dose next time, really just made me kinda tired, a little emotional, and I closed my eyes and listened to a song and it sounded really good.

>The next morning I dumped everything I owned down the drain. Very cathartic. Would recommend. I cut open the beers with a knife so they'd spray over my hands, still get that aroma and whatnot. Savored watching that gin swirl around the drain.
fucking dramatic moron