Stop buying unitaskers

Stop buying unitaskers.

Says the man who owns an olive pitter.

stop cooking in a kitchen

>alton brown
>needs $3000 worth of specialty equipment and scientific tools to make banana pudding

unitaskers are bomb

i was poor once too, but you actually save money on food with unitaskers because you can make literally anything better than you can buy at a restaurant when you have the right tools for the job

Is that the Bosnian guy?

If you were a chef I'd take your advice but you're not, you're a TV producer.
Goodbye.

>Bosnian guy
does he rape women and kill muslims?

>STOP USING UNITASKERS
>Spend 2 hours at a hardware store so you can assemble a weird shitty clay pot kiln instead of using a normal oven like the rest of the recipes say

Love most of his shit though

The only problem I have with them is that they are either ridiculously expensive, or they are made of/with cheap plastic and impossible to effectively clean.

Bombs are unitaskers.

>t. Unibomber

90% of the time he's trying to get you not to buy some dumb piece of shit that will sit in your cabinet until you decide to make X food again

10% of the time he's just being difficult and that unitasker makes everything MUCH easier

Stop being a gay basher.

This dude was alright on Good Eats, but since then he's taken his LOL ZANY AND QUIRKY personality to embarassing levels.

Fuck you Alton, I love my garlic press.

>Garlic press.
>Not just using a knife and your fist.

But this the greatest unitasker ever invented

This. Rice cookers, garlic presses, and lemon/lime squeezers are way too efficient to say they aren't completely beneficial

Why the fuck would you eat at restaurants if you're poor?

>Lemon/lime squeezers
>Unitaskers

Do you not know Latin, or how to count?

Name the other thing a squeezer does.

It squeezers limes and lemons, they aren't the same, Mexican. In a pinch they can also work as a strainer though :^)

not him but it squeezes lemons and limes. he is saying that both are two separate functions therefore not a unitasker

How can I stop doing something which I haven't started?

>They aren't the same
You still only named one task.

Then he is saying nothing coherent.

Stop burning stave churches

Hey Alton, how do I deep-fry a turkey?
>well, first you need a ladder
Hey Alton, how do I make corned beef?
>okay you need a 5 gallon drink cooler
>start by taking all the shelves out of your fridge

>McDonald's is the cheapest food, per calorie!
>You can't buy 5 cents worth of garlic powder!
>Electricity and gas cost money too!
>You could take all that time you spend cooking and get a second job!
Stupid shit like that.

how else do you depit an olive?

>Being this delusional

Did you post the "limes are unripe lemons" thread a few days ago?

Titanium straw, or knife.

I haven't tried a pitter, but I discovered that pounding them a few times with mortar and pestle made them very easy to peel off from pit.

Convince me a knife isn't a unitasker. Difficulty level: pic related.

>lemon/lime squeezers
Is there something wrong with your hands?

Chopped garlic isn't the same as making it into a paste, and that salt scraping technique never works out for me.

What like murder?
Just sit down and really think about it, imagine the murder in as vivid detail as you can, flex the muscles you'd use like if you want to strangle someone slowly flex your hands and just imagine that you're doing it
I end up throwing up, pretty much kills the urge. Good luck

Hey alton, I wanna make a burger

>You're gonna these 7 specific things and this $3000 dollar oven

Thanks Alton

let's find out...

Whatever happened to Good Eats Alton? I remember watching his videos in home ec back in high school, his recipes were super easy to follow and really good. I still remember his mac n cheese recipe

Cuts, dices, scapes, a good wide blade will scoop too.

It's mostly a meme. Alton's recipes are generally pretty easy to follow, there's just some weird, oddly convoluted ones that stick out and people make a joke out of.
I talk shit about his deep fried turkey recipe, but that's because he goes into how to operate a turkey fryer and spends 5 minutes detailing a pulley system involving a ladder.
And then there's his corned beef recipe, which includes how to corn your own beef, which takes a week of brining it in a water cooler in your fridge.

you can use an olive pitter as a paper hole punch, or to pierce ears.

So I shouldn't own an oven? Because it can only heat things up.

>not using the superior Y shaped design

Changed my life tbqh

user. Please.

You can also use an oven to hide leftover body parts.

i use my veggie peeler to shave my arms.

It's also a cherry pitter

Nothing's wrong with my hands. I simply value my time more than someone who uses their hands to squeeze citrus fruits.

ovens are ONLY for storing pots and pans!!

He graduated from CIA numbnuts

He's a big guy

For ewes.

first world poor, not actually poor

To be fair, there's no other way to make corned beef

i clean out a crisper drawer and corn the beef in there

Dry rubbing and corning in a ziploc bag is the best way.

That and juicers are way more effective at getting as much juice as possible from citrus.

>only does one thing his entire life
>GRRRR why do people who don't do this for a living choose to do it differently

pathetic honestly