Heinz Ketchup absolutely saved the day

>having a neighborhood cookout
>making Ball Park Flame Grilled Burgers with Kraft American Singles and Ore Ida french fries on the side
>the food's good but could use a kick
>neighbor brings over a bottle of Heinz Ketchup from his kitchen

My friends, I must say Heinz really saved the day. There's no better addition to a cheeseburger with fries, the classic All-American meal. Made only with the freshest, juiciest tomatoes, it's no wonder Heinz is the world's favorite. Whether you're having Ball Park Hamburgers or Tyson Boneless Chicken Wings, it's the perfect addition to anything.

Grab a bottle at your nearest Safeway today. Heck, buy two and give one to a friend! They won't thank you enough.

Why do that when it's easy enough to make your own ketchup out of the ground bones, blood and bile of Heinz marketing reps

go shill somewhere else

all the money goes to globalists bent on destroying the human race.

also slave plantation

Huts masnterrace

Looks like (((they))) found Veeky Forums and completely missed the point of what happens here

1/10 not on the mcchicken

you spelled chickn wyngz wrong.

Is this what goes on r/Veeky Forums

Why is this so funny

Heinz ketchup killed my dad.
He was a sales rep for Heinz Ketchup but in 2008 he was laid off as a result of the recession. He did his best as a stay at home dad but he soon developed alcoholism and a year later he shot himself in the head while my brothers and I were away at school. My younger brother actually was the one that found him, it was really fucked up. He's had to be medicated and see a therapist bi-weekly since then. The irony was the blood leaking all over the floor from his exploded face was exactly the same color and texture as the substance responsible for his death

Heinz brand ketchup is my favorite!

When I see a 'dog' in front of me you bet I'm reaching for my bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup. It's "Grown Not Made".

Also, >mfw when I'm eating my tasty treat!

lol

What the fuck is a Safeway?

That's depressing and hilarious

Moar shellshocked pls.

Jesus fucking christ

>implying the recession had any effect on ketchup sales

The west coast's most prolific and also poorly named grocery chain

Called vaughns in some places

Haha, your dad died like a pig. Fuck him.

Edgy meme bro

>le edgy

Anyone who kills themselves because life is too hard :((( is a big fat pussy and deserves to be eliminated from the gene pool. Selfish, too, considering the guy had kids. If we lived in the third world or something he essentially would have just left his wife and children to fend for themselves because he couldn't hack it. Fuck him. Hope he burns in hell, truly a failure of a human being.

>Selfish

Yeah suicide is selfish, way more selfish than wanting someone to keep living in suffering so you don't have bad feelings inconveniently

Suffering? Lmao yeah he was really suffering, living in a first world country with a wife and kids, probably living in the suburbs.

And yeah, he's fucking selfish. If you want to off yourself, fine. But you lose the right to do it without being called a worthless cunt when you leave behind a family that relied on you. Seriously, fuck him. A husband and father who kills himself is worse than a guy who just walks out on his wife and kid's life. Either way he's a fucking worthless pussy. So I really, really do hope that Hell is real just so he can burn in it for all eternity and think about what a piece of shit he was. There's no such thing as an "easy way out" in life. Your mistakes catch up to you one day in one way or another.

>Suffering? Lmao yeah he was really suffering, living in a first world country with a wife and kids, probably living in the suburbs.

Suffering is relative you prick, tell a homeless man his life is fine because some African kid is dying of starvation faster than he is of aids and that somehow invalidates his own
But you know what that kids life isn't that bad, there's people in north korea who are held captive and have their limbs amputated and eaten due to a lack of food

>A husband and father who kills himself is worse than a guy who just walks out on his wife and kid's life. Either way he's a fucking worthless pussy.

Never got over your daddy issues then, you commit suicide because the alternative is worse, this is why people jump off of buildings that are on fire, that is what suicide is, better than the alternative
Abandoning your family for a better life for yourself is far worse than ending yours because you can't tolerate it

>There's no such thing as an "easy way out" in life. Your mistakes catch up to you one day in one way or another.

Except you're wrong, there is nothing after death

You're supposed to kill your wife and kids too if you're serious about offing yourself

That way you kill the line and your wife doesn't fall into the arms of the nearest nigger

watching mad men right now and just saw the guy hype up ketchup again so i laughed at this harder than i should have

Hi all,

can we keep this discussion to the topic of Heinz Ketchup?

Is this really Veeky Forums now?

is there anything this shit can't do?

Wasn't there something else that was being "shilled" before? I forget what
Now I remember it was back when we had those Olive Garden threads

Fun times