Work at five guys

Jokes on them I never told them to have a nice day in the first place

>Be a host
>Couple walks in at late hours
>"We're a party of 25"
>"HAHAH JUST KIDDING it's us 2"

Another five guys story
>guy orders burger
>cautiously observes the entire burger making process
>makes a scene and tells us we're gonna overcook it and ruin it
>wants it rare
>"sorry sir we are obliged to cook our patties fully though and well done"
>starts unintelligibly rambling and storms out without even getting his food
Why are you rarefags like this? Especially in a fast food establishment. Do you really want uncooked meat from a place thay doesn't grind their own meat, and uses meat that has been move all over the country?

>being a male hostess

lol gonna start doing this one

When you in a small establishment you got no choice sometimes. Rent doesn't pay its self

>tfw realize that we are the other two guys

>Why are you rarefags like this? Especially in a fast food establishment. Do you really want uncooked meat from a place thay doesn't grind their own meat, and uses meat that has been move all over the country?
I'd rather have a nicely cooked burger using safe meat. But I wouldn't expect that's possible in a normal fast food chain, even a relatively expensive one like Five Guys. Dude probably had mental illness or impairment. A normie rarefag would have asked for it rare when he placed the order, then stormed out before paying.

>hugely fat person comes to the counter a pile of garbage like Breyers 'frozen dairy desert', microwave dinners, frozen pizzas, pringles, etc.
>want to say something put of genuine empathy, to steer them away from this dark path
>decide it's not worth it
>wish them a nice day with a smile

every time

>order from 5 guys online, late
>we go to pick it up
>spouse goes inside to get it
>has to wait while the fries are made (it's okay, I'd rather eat hot fries than cold, limp fries)
>there's only one other table inside with 3 people, it's like 5 minutes from closing time
>guy from the table gets up and walks to the counter and is standing next to my 6'1 spouse.
>spouse is dwarfed by him by like, half
>realize it's a member of the local NBA team
>DAAAAAAAAAAMN, that's cool.
>spouse brings order out, says "I purposely tipped $10 bucks while he was standing there, so maybe he'll tip them more."
>mfw life is nice
>also, the burger was delicious, and so was the grilled cheese (Hamburger all the way, and grilled cheese with tomatoes and grilled onions).

>where are the other two?

The burger and fries :^D

She bout to get BLACKED

:(

Good guy user. And five guys grilled cheeses are pretty based. They use mayo to butter the bread and it adds some nice tang to the sandwich.

Do you mean *He* about to get blacked? Because I think not, he's all about the pink.

Yeah, that was the first time I'd tried the grilled cheese, I think it'll be a regular order for me, when we eat there. Pretty sweet.

Forgot to add that you can add a patty (or two) to he grilled cheese and make it a party melt. You don't have to worry about it being a hassle or anything for the register since there's an *add patty* option.

...

Hmmmmm, very intriguing. Might have to try that next time. Although I do like the burgers too.
Can you get a grilled cheese all the way plus an extra patty? (which I realize would basically make it a burger, but with grilled toast instead of a bun, which sounds pretty good).

Yup you can get any toppings.

This is why women shouldn`t post. What a fucking boring, unneccesary post.

My fat fuck friend today who's asking me for weight loss advice asked me if subway sandwiches were healthy.

>"I heard the owner of subway lost a ton of weight eating subway every day!"
>"It's still not good for you man... At least just don't put any mayo/cheese on it"
>No reply

I swear, fat fucks don't stay fat because of their genetics. THEY HAVE NO FUCKING DISCIPLINE.

You do realise you`re replying to a landwhale, right? lmao

>Work at a hotel
>Every time I check someone in they have to sign a form that says they can't smoke or bring in pets
>At least once a day some dipshit has to ask "DOES MY WIFE/HUSBAND/CHILD COUNT AS A PET HURR HURR
>Pretend smile and die a little more inside

Regardless, I made my point

I dont get it

This

She`s absolutely obsessed with grilled cheese. As you said, no discipline. Stuffing her fat face with fucking grilled cheese (no real cheese so cheese dip ahahaha) at 2am

She must stink so bad, fucking grilled cheese fanny farts oh my lord have mercy

Working low level customer service jobs just makes you realize how many people suck and rehash trite expressions. Bet they go on later in the day bragging to their friends about the "hilarious" exchange.

I was wondering why I didn't get this post, the spouse is the husband not the wife.

He now has change

Do they behead you?

>le women xD

>work at Chipotle
>been a busy week, not the happiest corporate slave
>ring a guy up
>"Would you like anything else with your chicken bowl?"
>snarkily responds "How about a smile?"
>curve the corners of my mouth up while trying to telepathically set him and myself on fire
>"Thank you, have a nice day."
I don't think I'm gonna make it my guys

Clearly serving customers is not for you

you're right, it's probably not. But that's not a thing to ask any person working retail, I think. No matter what the smile and warmth will come out forced. But I don't think they do it for the smile, these types, they do it because you have to smile.

subscribed

man you guys are gonna hate the real world after high school, better grow some thicker skin pretty quick

$11.39? Fuck, what did he buy, one small fries?

Its /pol/ speak for white supremecy or something

How do you keep your boipucci so pink? Bleach?

Why the fuck do people do this? When I was a cashier I'd purposely slow down the transaction just for this reason. But somehow people always managed to get that 24 cents after I closed the drawer.

>Couple walk in
Would you like a bag for that?
No thanks I've got one already
>Husband motions to his wife

baka

Why do you do these shitty food service jobs when factory assembly work pays more and you dont have to talk to anyone?
I dont get it. I thought shitty fast food jobs were reserved for illegal aliens and 16 year old kids who can not reason yet?

Post feet.

All burgers should be cooked through

Get a security license

If people actually get offended or angry by these little things, they deserve it. I encourage you to be as annoying as possible so these subhuman retards will out themselves. Fast food places tend to be a hive of these types of people.

>establishing dominance in a fast food restaurant
Kek

great dad boner joke.. would of laughed / 10

>would of

>spouse
I should have known to stop reading there. Please never post again

>being unironically mean in 2017

>tipped
lel

Who does?

it is usually just indifference.
there is occasional hate but usually I just don't care

That's not what I meant, user. They would be just making a dumb joke that because of the change received from the transaction they NOW have change they needed before.

What you said also fucking happens though, and I completely agree. I'd also slow down the transaction.
Towards the end of my cashier position, I'd stop giving a fuck. So many times did I see the disappointment on their faces as large amounts of change poured out of the change machine right as they pull change out of their pocket.
Should've looked for change while you were dicking around on your phone in line.

>Would you like a bag for that?
Holy shit. I hope I never have to ask this again, just because so many people would act like I just asked them the final question of a game show and they'd stare off into space as if they forgot their reasons for living.

>not replying with a "sorry sir we don't serve those" and smiling at your own joke
fucking normie get out reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>"that'll be $9.88, sir"
>hand over a ten
>make sure they notice I put the 12 cents loudly in tip jar
>with a wink I say "don't spend it all in one place!"
HURDEEHURHUR
>mfw it gets them every time and we get to share a midday chuckle

>cashier gives me change
>no tip jar
>take-a-penny/leave-a-penny
>its basically full
>go through my change and spend too much time putting all of the pennies in it (4 at max)
>cashier laughs
It's a weird feel.

You did a shit job of trolling her you absolute faggot fuck you i didn't need to see some attention whores thread get away with babby level trolling.

Not quite the same but

>Work in kitchen at japanese restaurant

>get tons of orders for edamame

>later doing dishes and so many of them haven't even been touched

why do motherfuckers order food and not eat it?

They don't realize it's fucking soybeans

That literally went fucking no where. I should have looked at the replies first.

we need more cuteposting like this

My job has daily soup and chili (It's frozen in this block, it's gross but i digress)

Y'all know how many times I go to grab dishes and find a bowl of chili or soup half-touched? Like if y'all just wanted half the sandwich, order the full thing and take the other half home/give it to the homeless dude outside/take it to the office. It literally costs the exact same.

kys yourself

Cry more faggot

Unless they're old or cute, I don't really care.

Was it because he was black?

I worked in retail for a spell, an outdoors store -- the employees and many of the clientele were naturally on the eco-friendly side of things, and didn't always buy a hundred small things that needed to be bagged. Anyways.. It was hilarious to see the gears turn in some people's heads if you asked them if they would like/wanted/needed a bag for a shoebox, pair of gloves, 1 shirt, a carabiner or anything. It's like you just reset their brain by asking if their presumed routine of checking out could be a bit different. Like, they wouldn't have thought twice if I just threw it in a bag and handed it to them, but asking if they needed a bag to carry something like a water bottle (something that's made to be carried in your hand!!) just fucks with them. I always did internally applaud the ones that ones that realized no, they didn't NEED a bag to carry something 40 feet to their car.

On that note:
>you need a bag for this shoebox?
>nah, save a PLASTIC tree ;)
>hehe... (for the 100000000th time)

Or:
>buys a backpack
>you need a bag
>a bag for my BAG HaHa!! No, that's okay
>smiles...
>they walk out the door
>shut the fuck up.

lol is that a pedo joke?

lol that's actually pretty good. I'm keeping all of these snarky comments in the back of my mind.

lol this thread is like
>How to be a cheeky fuck: 101

It sounds like something a grandpa would say with a wry smile that would help turn anons day around. At least that's how I hope it goes. If I don't die young and miserable as I am now I want to be an old cheeky cunt regular at a coffee shop or hardwear store that pulls this kind of shit with the kids.

i feel this so much, i'm glad i don't work at target anymore

>work at a fast food place
>customer asks me what I think they should get
>don't know what to say because I don't eat anything there

They only assign girls and gays to the cashier because the other jobs are too hard for them. So which are you?

Damn

It says so on the consarned menu

>3/5ths of the staff
>not demanding to pay only 3/5ths the price

If they dispute it, say it was only made with 3/5ths the love.

What if the year is 1860, the store is in Baton Rouge and the 3 staff members are black?

3rd shift at a convenience store is fucking awesome since it's just cleaning, a bit of stocking, and chilling in between customers. i did it for a year and the most i had in the store was maybe three customers at a time, all trying to buy beer

maybe. but i think a lot of people tell those jokes because they've heard them before and think it's the socially approved small talk between a service rep and a customer. it's like talking about the weather or something

>when a year of your life is based on the film Clerks

A lot witty people are liars. We make you think that we come up with jokes off the top of our heads, but the funniest things we say come from a joke backlog that we create in our spare time. When the right time presents itself we break out our jokes and impress everyone. Then there are some exceptional people who can come up with clever shit in an instant, but they're truly exceptional.

The people who repeat shit jokes everyday are non-witty people trying to be funny in order to impress those around them in order to gain higher social standing.

The customer you stupid bastard.

>go to taco bell
>fat guy walks in
>gets naked chalupa box
>i dont want any lettuce or tomato

>walk out of taco bell
>some guy keeps spitting his drink back into his cup and then keeps doing the same thing over and over

Is that literally just fried chicken with sour cream on it or something?

>mfw people working low end customer service jobs think they have the standing to look down on anyone

Really tickles the neurons.