Official coffee growing region ranking thread

That list is shit.

Oh I'm in no way implying that Blue Mountain beans are some kind of third wave specialty food for people who consider themselves coffee aficionados.
I'm simply saying that they are a good quality everyday bean for the average person. You can walk into a grocery store and buy a bag of them for $3-4

>I'm simply saying that they are a good quality everyday bean for the average person. You can walk into a grocery store and buy a bag of them for $3-4

I'm not sure if this is a joke that's going over my head, or what

hm

What's the problem?

Among other things, the fact that Blue Mountain wholesale green beans cost more than that, let alone the retail price of a roasted bag. You're buying fake coffee.

Okay, I was slightly off on the price.

You can walk into a Trader Joes right now and buy this for $6.

And once again, I'm not saying this is third wave gourmet shit. But it's perfectly fine for normal plebs like me and 99% of the population. Much better than stuff like Folgers.

You sure about that? I don't go to TJs but the actual TJ website is listing the price of the Kona at $19.99 for a 13 oz can, the Blue Mountain is not listed but from scouring forums I'm not seeing anything near the $6 price you're quoting.

Never mind. I stand corrected.

I was looking at the price for "blue mountain gold" brand coffee, which is not actually grown in Jamaica.

Which brings up the other problem with Blue Mountain. The luxury status attracts opportunists who either use creative branding that skates a fine legal line (like the 'blue mountain gold' you mentioned), or "100% Jamaica, Blue Mountain blend" (meaning, 100% Jamaican coffee with a small amount of Blue Mountain"), or just straight up lies about what's in the bag

And then there's the pre-roasting. Suppose it is real, why should anyone pay $50 for a small bag of coffee roasted and ground 6 months ago? Ridiculous

The vast majority of coffee sold as "blue mountain" can't even compete with the $8.99/lb machine roasted bin coffee from Whole Foods, let alone a hand roasted lot from a skilled third wave roaster from even the most inexpensive batch, which should cost somewhere around $12 for a 12 oz bag. This isn't a dig against actual blue mountain but rather a recommendation to avoid it unless you're just curious and willing to go out of your way to find the real stuff from a reputable roaster

Granted, but it still doesn't belong on the Low Tier as OP is saying.

>not tasting the libertarian socialist organic coffee from zapatista guerrillas of Lacandona jungle in Chiapas
My university has one coffee stand of this godtier jewel for the equivalent of 0.25 USD a cup.

Tropical areas tend to be underdeveloped due to disease. Coincidentally, coffee grows best in such areas.

If you're not a troll, your taste buds are pretty much the opposite of mine. You like simple, brassy flavors.

Could be you're just not drinking fresh coffee

Some of the lower ranked coffees don't lose as much flavor after sitting on the shelf for a few weeks because they are not as delicate.

God tier beans like Costa Rican need to be drank within like 3, max 4 days of roasting, after which there's a very rapid decline in flavor

It's like, I'm eating Jiro's sushi and you're eating Jack Links beef jerky because you had some supermarket sushi once and it was gross

Any reason you don't rate African coffees? Every Burundian coffee I've had has been great. Kenya, Rwanda and Ethiopia have some outstanding coffee too if you're buying the right stuff. Also, Bolivia should be on that list in good tier.

east africa grows objectively the best coffee so your rankings are trash

>"I tried one brand of coffee from each country and here is my official power ranking of all the countries"

>drinking "brands"
full pleb

Yes, op is a pleb.

I don't drink "brands" though. That was you. I'll bet you think Starbucks is for hipsters.

I was projecting how you came to conclusion of your shitty list.

>I was projecting
Yes, we know

are you sure?

Yeah, still can't tell if troll or pleb. It's possible you're both. Cheers.

As a person who roasts his own beans in small batch, I've realized you have to try a handful of different farms from each country to really have a proper opinion of the region. It's almost impossible to rank regions into tiers, considering different palettes can prefer one region over another. I mean shit, some people prefer one elevation of growth over another within a particular region. You gotta try a lot.

Idt this is original

I come up with super efficient way to deal with all the bullshit associated with coffee,
with types of coffee with different roasting levels with brewing methods and different equipment compications,
with toxic chemicals sprayed on coffee during growing period,
with toxic molds growing on coffee beans during storage and transportation
with cancer caused by dark roast coffee

I just quit buying and drinking this evil fucking shit and my life is normal now.
No more headaches no more complications no more toxic chemicals in my body.
Coffee is no more part of my life and my life is much simpler and much happier and healthier now.

NO MORE COFFEE FOR ME

Wow what a faggot. Just drink folgers and get on with the day. Is your life that devoid of meaning that you have to waste time and mental energy ranking fucking coffee?

Red pill me on decaf. Is there anything health wise i should be cautious of? I never liked coffee but the last few months suddenly got the taste for it. Just been buying this decaf stuff at trader joes and it tastes fine with a bit of almond milk

that shit will kill you so fast you will have no time to say goodbye

shut the fuck up you fucking simpleton

Even China and Thailand grow coffee.

And so do Reunion Island, Cuba, the Philippines, Zimbabwe, Taiwan, etc... but no one cares about them because it's pretty rare. It's like saying Japan should be on a list of wine region rankings because a couple of Japanese hipsters figured out that grapes can be grown in Japan.

How do I go from coffee pleb to coffee patrician? How do I develop my taste and what beans should I buy to start to understand the subtleties of coffee?

>and what beans should I buy
user are you talking dry or canned beans

>buy any fresh roasted / unroasted and roast yourself
>try the same bean under different roast levels
>try different home brewing gear
It's pretty simple to start out, overwhelming once you realize how much stuff there is, then comforting as you work your way through it.

OR HE CAN GO STRAIGHT FOR THE BEST SOLUTION AND USE INSTANT COFFEE
no complications with all that crap that you are describing in your post

>>no complications

And no flavor either.

Don't reply to him.

don't tell me what to do

the jew is using the negro to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids

You are getting scared of truth about coffee.
You are getting nervous now.

WHERES VIETNAMESE COFFEE, AND CUBAN COFFEE?

in Vietnam and in Cuba

NO IN YOUR MOM/

on the list fucktard

it's there you fucktard blind bat

audible kek

Viet coffee: low tier
Cuban coffe: shit tier

bad ass coffees

I mean shit ass coffees
you know shitty coffees

Just like to share it with you.
12th day without coffee and feels great, very liberating.
No signs of addiction and no cravings to drink coffee.
What a freedom and money savings.
Feel sorry for you you suckers chained to this coffee drinking nonsense.

That's nice, I don't care. I'll continue to drink coffee because it tastes good.

No you will continue to drink coffee because you have no strong will to stop it even for few days to see if you can do it.
You are a weak person. You are very insecure and you think that drinking coffee every day makes you safe and loved
or whatever your insecurity is.
How pathetic

Here fuckers I will share it with you great way to drink coffee.
I'm using moka pot and on top of the coffee grounds I grind bit of black pepper around 1/4 to 1/3 of a teaspoon.
It gives great kick to coffee and black pepper oils are very beneficial and healthy.

9 Incredible Benefits Of Black Pepper Essential Oil.
organicfacts.net/health-benefits/essential-oils/health-benefits-of-black-pepper-essential-oil.html

10 Black Pepper Essential Oil Benefits You Won’t Believe.
draxe.com/black-pepper-essential-oil/

And if you are drinking shitty cheap coffee adding black pepper will be healthy but also in a way will improve the taste of coffee,
it changes a bit the taste to more acceptable.
I grind my quality medium roast coffee beans just before brewing.

You can add black pepper to your french press or espresso machine, aeropress or drip machines.
Be brave don't be pussies

i'm looking for recommendations of internet roaster that is good and cheap

where does starbucks dark roast come from? It should be under god tier

>where does starbucks dark roast come from?
from Satan's ass

But I haven't drank coffee for about 6 days because I'm out of beans and been to lazy to order more.

Keep projecting though, moron.

Americans itt should really stfu, they know absolutely NOTHING about good coffee

t. Eyetalian drinking burned pre ground coffee from a can

I found great way to make bag of coffee to last twice as long.

I make coffee every second day now.

ok

When does Brazilian coffee come into season?

Or is Brazilian growing and harvesting on hiatus due to zika?

since those mosquitos like to lay eggs in coffee beans they are coming with new variety called Brazika

That shit is all over latin america by now

Brazil coffee will never be good, I don't care how many hipster mindlessly go "but not ALL brazilian coffee!"

No. It's shit.

youre shit faggot I fuckin hate u

Don't order it yet user. Don't you see that you are given chance to test strength of your will.
Fuck coffee, show that bitch that you can be without her for few days and that you will not die.
Remember anons coffee is a bitch and or you show her who is in charge or she will rule you and your life and your wallet.

Sometimes to show her (coffee) that I'm in charge I make nice cup of coffee and walk to the sink
and without even taking one sip i pour that bitch into the sink, freshly made still steaming.
And I tell her, there you go bitch you cunt, I can be without you today, enjoy the sewer pipes you whore.

I refuse to be ruled by coffee. Coffee can suck my dick.

BTW,I'm not sure about Brazilian coffee if is good or just so-so.
What are the baristas here have to say about it.

not that user,
Now I hate you and now I hate Brazilian coffee.
If you were smart you would post nice answer providing info about Brazilian coffee it's strengths and values,
and to be balanced you would mention about the weaknesses also, but you would still project positive aspects of Brazilian coffee.
Now I will avoid buying coffee from Brazil because of assholes like you.

Just so you all know that I'm reading this thread sitting naked wearing only a gown

most expensive shit by any rat on the planet that coffee drinkers will kill for it to drink it.
coffee drinkers are danger to themselves having such shitty coffee fetish.
fucking mental retards.

man you are really, really salty about people that like coffee. did the woman that broke your sad, pathetic little heart like coffee? or was she a barista? this kind of hate is only fueled by a pathetic consistent loser with no social life whose only ambition is to soil something someone he's tried to love loves instead. You're the kind of lonely user who, I assume, weighs 300+ lbs, maybe has had sex once in his life, or maybe came close. Your best relationship was online, and I bet she broke up with you, right before you were about to meet in person. Probably over the phone. I bet she was the one that liked coffee, wasn't she? She was the one that broke your soul. If you have to wipe the tears from your face, I'll give you a handkerchief, poor user.

Please don't worry coffee faggots, after the rat's shit is cleaned off and the coffee is packaged in nice shiny bag
and proper price tag is attached you will sacrifice your monthly food budget to buy small bag of it.
The World’s Most Expensive Coffee Quite Literally Comes from a Rat’s Butt.
Rats! We give them love. We give them a home. We give them all the food they can slowly eat.
Aside from the occasional snuggle (or scratch), they don’t give us too much in return, though.

That is about to change.
Welcome to a world in which a rat’s butt can create delicious coffee.
Using the digestive tract of an animal to make gourmet coffee is nothing new.
People have been harvesting beans from elephant dung for years now.

The civet, also known as the toddyrat, is getting in on the act, helping to produce the world’s most expensive coffee.
Great Britain’s Harrods department store is now selling Terra Nera coffee, which is made from civet rat-processed beans, for $227 a bag.
That’s right. $227 for a tiny bag of coffee.
Sure, that might sound like an outrageous sum but isn’t it worth it to be able to tell your friends and family what they’ve just drunk an entire cup of?
Someone is liable to faint.
Fucking coffee aficionados are fuming now they are so salivating for taste of rat's shit with hint of coffee.

Coffee drinkers will pay $400-$500/pound for coffee that some ugly stinky rat eat it and ejected with other shit from his smelly rats ass,
and coffee faggots will shit themselves to get a chance to have a sip of that shit and pay $500/lb for it.
You have to be mentally fucked up to do that.
You might as well brew shit of goats or rabbits, that looks very similar in shape to coffee beans.
You guys,the coffee fanatics are very mentally sick people.

>man you are really, really salty about people that like coffee. did the woman that broke your sad, pathetic little heart like coffee? or was she a barista? this kind of hate is only fueled by a pathetic consistent loser with no soci
>someone he's tried to love loves instead. You're the kind of lonely user who, I assume, weighs 300+ lbs, maybe has had sex once in his life, or maybe came close. Your best relationship was online, and I bet she broke up with you, r

read only that far to the right, rest waz not accezible zo fuck you and your post you pathetic faggot

damn you really have to be PMSing hard to type all that

lol

>You might as well brew shit of goats or rabbits, that looks very similar in shape to coffee beans.
kek. golden ^

shitty coffee has new meaning now. kek

Civet feces are collected and cleaned for the coffee beans, which are naturally fermented during digestion.
Hey coffee freaks do you drink this rats ass shit coffee on empty stomach or do you consume some fudge with it.
Wow $500/pound must be really good after come out out of rats ass.

You plebs who buy grounded coffee at Walmart eat your hearts out.
This rats shit coffee is much better than the shit coffee you are buying at Walmart.

>there are people wasting oxygen RIGHT NOW who think kopi luwak is "new meme coffee"
Farmed luwak is like tilapia
Do not want

Civet cats/RATS in captivity living in appalling conditions and being force-fed ripe red coffee.

RATS ASS SHIT COFFEE IS SOO GOOD BECAUSE IS SO EXPENSIVE IT MUST BE GOOD
Drinking shit has new meaning amongst coffee purists

>force fed
Oh my god look that cruel apparatus that they've fixed to that poor animal to force it to kneel down in a natural pose over a giant basin of food and eat until it is full. Truly we are the savage animal.

>he thinks it's new
Flyover much?

>Ethiopia shit tier
you clearly know nothing about coffee

... I like Brazilian coffee...

Could I make this myself? I don't have any civet cats, but I was thinking I could just eat the beans and shit them out myself.

yeah man do it and post pics
or just act like you're bating people but are actually just being a huge faggot.

just catch a big fucking rat and feed him coffee beans and collect his shit
and booom you will have gourmet coffee envy of coffee faggots on Veeky Forums
you can call this coffee 'rats ass shit coffee delight'

i feel like there's at least two samefags jerking each other off about this whole meme coffee thing. you know nobody cares right.