So my birthday is coming up this month and my family wants to bake me a cake...

>i am the niggest: the cake

Sachertortes have always been my favorite cake. I like really dense deserts and the fruit jam really compliments the dark chocolate. Traditionally you use apricot jam, but at my favorite local bakery they use raspberry jam, and it's incredible.

cake is disgusting. make a pizza blank, brush peanut oil on the top, and sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it.

Tastes great, and is not gross.

Okay sorry for the late reply.

Question 3. Are you partial to sweetened chocolate like Milk chocolate/Semi-sweet or Bitter dark-as-my-soul chocolate?
That will determine what kind of chocolate you use in the recipe and also whether to use dutch-process (mellow balanced) or natural (intensely strong/biting) cocoa powder along with it.
Be prepared to spend majorly for a good brand of chocolate (Hershey Natural Cocoa Powder is fine, but get at least Ghirardelli for Dark, Godiva/Dove for Milk, or order some Callebaut/Valhrona if you can manage it)

A dense fudge-style cake will have the structure necessary to stand up to an Italian or Swiss meringue buttercream or a thick-ratio ganache (1:1 or greater of chocolate vs. hot heavy cream) finish so you'll have a very rich dessert should you choose one of those option over a chocolate whipped cream or mousse filling or some other kind and/or flavor frosting. These are my favorite layer recipes of that type:
gretchensbakery.com/chocolate-fudge-blackout-cake/
laurassweetspot.com/cooks-illustrated-chocolate-cake/
A good recipe should include both melted chocolate for flavor and richness and cocoa powder for purity and punch.
It should have you dissolve the cocoa powder in HOT water first to wake up it's flavor before incorporating into the batter.
Whether the recipe calls for it or not (and most good ones do) add 1½ tsp of expresso powder/instant coffee to the hot water along with the cocoa powder to deepen the chocolate's flavor without adding any adulteration (adding more than that will put you firmly into Tiramisu-territory if you want that kind of flavor)
It should NOT have a lot of dairy in the cake base as the dairy fat will mask and dull the chocolate's flavor. Instead substitute mostly water as the liquid base and/or sour cream, yogurt, or buttermilk as the tang will marry well with the sweet and bitter notes of chocolate and enhance it's flavor further.

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Substituting vegetable oil for butter creates a more tender cake texture that isn't as hard, even when refrigerated. You do lose butter's flavor but as said it's up to you how much of the flavor profile you want to be chocolate vs. dairyfat (it's doesn't have to be all or nothing but dairy is more powerful than chocolate on the tongue).

I HIGHLY recommend picking up an oven thermometer (~$5-8) if you don't have one, as your home unit will be typically be off by 10-50 degrees of that stated amount (mine is off 20-30°F) which you can then compensate for.
If you don't have one, I also HIGHLY recommend picking up a kitchen scale as the scoop and sweep method of volume measuring your sugar, flour, and especially cocoa power (as it is insanely hygroscopic) can vary by up to 30% by weight depending on high tightly the dry ingredients get packed which will throw off your moisture ratios and give you undesirable texture results if you aren't careful.

Finally, make sure to rotate your pans halfway through the baking time ( and check them EARLY for doneness USING A TOOTHPICK OR THERMOMETER ONLY. Like brownies, YOU MUST UNDERBAKE THEM. The toothpick inserted into the center should come out with MOIST CRUMBS, NOT CLEAN. I cannot stress enough that chocolate-based desserts must be taken out before they look done. The heat carryover will finish them off, and they will setup firm as the chocolate inside returns to room temperature. If you bake them to done in the oven, they will be overbaked once cooled and taste as dry as Death Valley.

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If OP you'd like a dessert other than the classic layer cake, then here are some other famous chocolate cake desserts:
Chocolate Espresso Dacquoise (French, See pic) - Candybar-like sandwich of thin meringue, buttercream, and ganache layers
treats-sf.com/2013/11/chocolate-espresso-dacquoise-and-cooks.html

Chocolate Meringue Pavlova (Australian/New Zealand Origin)
browneyedbaker.com/chocolate-pavlova-recipe/

Yule Log/Bûche de Noël (French) - Chocolate Roulade with a light flavored pastry/whipped cream filling and buttercream/ganache icing
seriouseats.com/recipes/2008/12/jacques-torres-buche-de-noel-recipe.html

Bolo de Chocolate Molhadinho (Brazil) - Chocolate Cake with a table Cream or condensed milk base coated in either chocolate shavings or sprinkles
flavorsofbrazil.blogspot.com/2012/10/recipe-brigadeiro-cake-bolo-brigadeiro.html

I prefer less sweet. Too sweet and it makes me nauseous. As for Chocolate type either is fine.

>Too sweet and it makes me nauseous
go to a doctor

Torte.

Ja bitte!

I'm partial to chocolate silk pies, if that counts in some way.

German chocalate cake. Not too much icing and the coconut is sweet enough that you don't have to use as much sugar.

Scharzewaldekirschtorte.

Schwartzwälder motherfucking Gâteau

>So

Fucking idiot fuck off to reddit

thread FUCKING hidden

Gas urself you nigger jew faggot peace of shit

>sachertorte

Baker-user can you post a sachertorte recipe that's very dark and chocolatey, like the OP pic. So many seem to be kinda pale and miserable.

There are 2 basic sachertorte recipe classes from what I recall. One calls for cake flour, and the other is flour-less includes those that substitute ground almond-meal or just cocoa powder instead as well as those that omit "dry" ingredients altogether.
These are good examples of the classic flour-version which is actually rather dry by-design, as it's meant to ladled with a whipped sweetened cream and/or a raspberry or some other tart fruit spread/glaze to balance and cut through it's richness:
epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/sachertorte-231043
kingarthurflour.com/recipes/sacher-torte-recipe

This is quintessential flour-less chocolate torte (which is literally just a pound of unsweetened chocolate, and an obscene amount of butter and eggs):
primopezzo.com/intense-and-silky-flourless-chocolate-cake-from-cooks-illustrated/
It's so decadent that it's typically only garnished with a sprinkling of powdered sugar and/or cocoa powder, perhaps with some whole fruit served on the side. Because of the absence of flour it's texture is closer to a mousse, custard, or pudding than the flour-versions which retain a distinctive cakey crumb.

You'll notice when you are dealing with sachertortes that the recipes, regardless of the type, generally don't include any biological (yeast) or chemical leaveners (baking soda or powder) as ingredients. That's because like a true old-fashioned pound cake they develop all of their structure from the air beaten into the eggs which souflees up in the oven as water content in egg whites and butter escapes the batter as steam. Then the proteins and chocolate sets the form which firms up as it cools down and is typically chilled thereafter (they are served room temperature though, as there is so much whole chocolate beaten into the cake that it immediately starts to melt when contacting the body temperature of the inside of your mouth as you bite into it).

Oh yes, and the darker-hued cakes you typically see photos of online (that aren't doctored with professional lighting and/or photoshop) most likely owe their color to the use of dutch instead of natural-process cocoa powder in the recipe. The alkaline bath that they give natural cocoa powder during the dutching process which mellows out it's sharpness and acidity also darkens it from it's naturally tannish red-brown color.
blog.kingarthurflour.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/cocoa1.jpg

PROTIP: If you REALLY want a dark cake, there is cocoa powder that is Ultra-Dutched AKA Onxy Cocoa Powder that you can order off Amazon or other places online, which turns it from dark brown to black. It's also what they use to make oreo cookies.

Thanks alot, user! I think I'm gonna try out the fudge cake recipe you posted.

Whoops wrong link, here:
blog.kingarthurflour.com/2014/01/10/the-a-b-cs-of-cocoa/

It's very good. If you want a really deep dark chocolate flavor to the cake (you may balance it with a sweeter filling and icing) you can substitute unsweetened chocolate to melt into the batter.

Also make sure you chill the cake in the fridge for at least an hour before frosting and you won't get crumbs all over the place or into your icing.

If I used really dark unsweetened chocolate, do you think it would work with a crème anglaise to balance it out?

Greek yogurt in the batter, OP. Makes it fudgey like a brownie.

If you plated it over a cut slice as glaze it might work. I can't really say not knowing your sugar tolerance though. Just be careful about the amount of sugar in the recipe and if it specifically calls for bitter (which typically means around ~60-70% cacao) or some other kind that is assumed to have a corresponding 30-40% sugar by weight. If you use unsweetened where it doesn't call for it you will have a much less-sweet cake which can be verging on bitter which can be off-putting if you aren't used to it or depending on your palate. You could always taste the batter (before the addition of eggs of course) and then return the absent sugar calculated from the expected built-in recipe amount to compensate if you find it's gonna be too astringent before baking.

Also do NOT buy Baker's. Yes the price will be enticing, you'll pay for it in the end product.

So would it be possible to get a sweetened 70% cacao chocolate to try and get that richness and depth of colour and flavour, without being too bitter?

Sure.
amazon.com/Green-Blacks-Organic-Chocolate-Cacao/dp/B000VK147W/
chocablog.com/cocoasolids/70/

Although you honestly would probably be fine with something in the 60% range which in my opinion isn't all that sweet, but that's subjective and you know your tastes and how sweet the filling you will pair it with will be. At the end of the day, a good rule of thumb for any sweetened chocolate is, "As long as you can enjoy nibbling it out of hand, you'll enjoy it in your cake."

Oh, and if you you get (or already have) a kitchen scale you can and should measure your batter out and divide it equally by weight among your pans to assure equally thick layers (I typically will donate 1-3 tablespoons from one pan to another myself to get them with 1-5 grams of each other)

Also, once you have filled your pans with batter remember to give them a few taps on the counter to force any air bubble up to the surface (you can them graze a butter knife or spatula through the top to pop them if you'd like or they will all smooth out on their own during baking). By doing this you prevent tunneling or large empty gas packets to form a swiss cheese interior to your cake crumb.

Chocolate cake with strawberry cream filling