Why aren't you drinking coffee RIGHT FUCKING NOW you fucking cum guzzlers?

because your mom's muff (filled with my cum) isn't going to guzzle itself.

You do know caffeine effects vary from people to people, right?

But I am though

Because it's bed time

Don't ever reply to me again

Are you also wearing onesies and holding your teddy bear?

Also, I'm aware that if that is your fetish then my burn have just backfired.

Well that's just gross.

I really love coffee, but I can't have more than one cup in the morning or I regret it.
one cup = everything is awesome, I feel great, I could get anything done
two cups = everything is terrible, I feel like shit, I don't want to do anything
I don't want to even try 3 cups.

My mug is like twice the size of a regular one though.

i have vanilla latte

because i'm waiting for the water to boil, shitstain

>1 cup
FFFFFAGGGGGGGGGG

I don't drink coffee or tea, only the occasional green tea.

Water is fine for me, and I don't wanna be reliant on caffeine to substitute for a lack of sleep, I'd rather just get my 8 hours or if I have to, I'd just use modafinil instead to do an all-nighter.

Hell, I drink a lot of water and almost no caffeine and I seem to be more awake than my coworkers most of the time who all just consume cup after cup of coffee/tea.

>there are people who drink their coffee any other way besides black

I just finished my daily ~20oz a few hours ago

if i had the option to choose between latte and black coffee i would choose latte, but if i was offered black coffee i would not complain

>if i had the option to choose between hot milk and black coffee i would choose hot milk, but if i was offered black coffee i would not complain

i thought about it but idk.

Cuz cummies have all the protein I need in my diet ?

>Coffee has protein
I think all that cum has turned you into a retard.

Because apparently it makes you hostile and autistic, judging from OP.

Don't talk to me until I've put 'cha in my 'sso!

End your life.

Nothing like a 'ot 'rning 'cha 'sso with a 'eam 'eez 'agel

I thought I was the only one that did this!

>Boil

You don't know what you're doing

>'sso

pic not related

Gave me way too much anxiety. Came home from work feeling burned out. Switched to tea and while I miss the delicious taste of coffee, I feel much better. Also excercise helps too

>the concept of boiling water and then letting it cool to about 94 degrees C is way too complex for me

I am for my exams but the poops and farts make it really difficult to take an exam

I like my coffee filtered through a man's reproductive organs.

Could we even make coffee if there was no gravity? How would it drip down into the cup>?

Pressure could be used to force the coffee through the grounds.

Caffeine makes my testicles tighten up and ache and decaf coffee is disgusting.

It has to be a pretty amazing cup of coffee to justify me having sore balls for 5 hours after drinking it.

Aeropress into a fitted bag/cup.

Huh okay thanks guys

OH GOD MAH BALLS

Because it will stunt the growth of my beautiful, clear-skinned body

You.... What

Are you on hormone treatment?

because it's gross

>but you haven't gone to this super special place that puts coffee in their ass for 8 hours and slow grinds it at the perfect roasting temp

it's still gross sorry

If I take stimulants my nuts tighten up and ache. Caffeine, nicotine, amphetamines, coke.

I had to go to hospital once when I was put on ssri's and my boys retracted for a sustained period of time. Felt like someone was stamping on my balls for a week. But it was cool. A 8/10 doctor fondled my balls and gave me valium.

Coffee is for faggots.
KYS

Not an excuse.

8/10 male doctor
ftfy faget

But I am.

>You guys drink way too much coffee. You should stop drinking so much. You should only drink a nice reasonable amount like FOUR FUCKING CUPS. If that's brew you're talking about then that's close to 1,000 mg of caffeine a day.
That's not insane really, but it's certainly more than average.

I have a cold, so I'm drinking lemon tea with honey.

Guzzling coffee all day is for sheep.

>tfw I don't enjoy the beautiful taste of freshly ground coffee as a luxury on the weekend and instead drink so much bitter Keurig shit that I can't function without it and all caffeine does is bring me back to baseline cognition for 40 minutes.

Because caffeine does nothing to me. On the contrary, a warm cup of coffee will make me sleepy. If I have coffee, it must be cold or else I will become more tired.

I'm experimenting with cold brew. Grinding with my baratza virtuoso on like 20 adding by volume (no scale) to mason jars then filling with water. Yesterday I did a locally brewed med roast, it was super good just a tad bitter, so I wasnt sure whether it was quantity or quality (grind) that was off. So I tried changing the quantity today if that's off I'll change the quality. Any experience with cold brew? It's really good and kicks you cock in when you take a bigger than you should yet delicious glass.

Just threw in 3 mason jars, one med roast less quantity, one darker roast less qty, and one blend of the two o_O

Who /aeropress/ here?

>drinking coffee for the caffeine

Me. Got one in January and I've gone through about half my stack of filters already.

Because (((they))) don't own me you stupid cuck

kys snicker bitch.
She was Philippino

>Nothing like a hot morning sriracha espresso with a cream cheese bagel
Holy shit i need to get out more

Slowly drinking half-pot from 9 to noon master race.

Green room doesnt have a working coffee pot

>not quite ready for /pol/.

I drink like 2 liters a day already user, plus I am sipping cold coffee right now

...

Because I'm guzzling cum.

good point , going to make some