Just got a girlfriend

Toast and 2 minute noddles

You already got her you don't gotta impress her dog, the hard part is done. Tell her you wanna learn how to cook something nice and do it together

aunt myrnas party salad, thank me later

I want to shoot this cretin in the face with a large caliber projectile every fucking time I see him.

This fag seriously induces more rage in me than Guy Fieri.

This is the best post in this thread.

Like seriously OP, you're being a huge faggot and your girlfriend is going to notice and it'll make her less attracted to you. If you're going to try and impress her, at least let it be with something you're actually good at.

Toast sandwich

a bullet

This will do you better than trying to win cool points with a girl who already likes you. I can cook but my girlfriend is...not so great at it. She, however, loves to work together in the kitchen. So be it. She's learning to prep and my job is typically made easier now.

Shoulda started her on dish and not let her move to prep until you got a second girlfriend to cover

These and Featureman

Man I'm not about eating overcooked food for every meal. If I try to step in she takes it personally. Found a happy medium.

Make her some Steamed Hams.

I chortled

Hamburger Helper

Just buy a large bag of McChickens. She'll let you put it in her butt.

a bowl of eggs

Did you make the mistake OP and told her you wanted to cook for her despite not knowing how to cook?

Prep the bull. That is how this relationship is going to be.

Spaghetti and meatballs. Don't make your own sauce the first time, but do make your own meatballs. Really fucking easy. Bake the meatballs, boil the pasta, heat the (store-bought) sauce, combine. Get some garlic bread and bake that too.

And when you DO make sauce, dont use sweet onions.

God I hate myself

If it makes you feel any better I hate you too

Thanks I was really proud of that joke but it is pretty inside

Impress her by making her cook for you and proving you're the dom.

Eggs

Make something simple, like spaghetti con pomodori (spaghetti with tomatoes).
Here's my recipe for it:
First of all, finely mince a garlic clove (see this vid for reference: youtube.com/watch?v=KaUtS24RjAo).
Then add some olive oil to a pot, on medium heat, throw in the minced garlic, stir it around for a bit, and add some tomato purée (ot crushed tomatoes). Finally, add some fresh basil and parsley and let it simmer on low heat for about 10-20 minutes or so. While that's simmering, throw in some pasta into a separate pot, cover it with water, bring it up to a boil, and let it cook until the pasta is tender.
Drain the pasta and serve with the tomato sauce.

Make soup using home-made stock (tl;dr chop shit, maybe sautee some aromatics like garlic and deglaze with wine, add water and sliced vegetables or whatever and simmer as long as you want) and serve it with some bread fresh from a bakery and some fancy olive oil and vinegar from a specialty shop.

If it wasn't cold out, I'd suggest caprese instead of soup

Just order some good food and fake prep it while she's there. Like Mrs. Doubtfire ya dumdum.

Chicken parm.
Pic extremely related, but i didnt have as much sauce left as i thought i did and i got out my mozzeralla only to see that it was moldy. Still very good and she was very impressed

>got a girlfriend
>wants to cook for her
Haha you stupid fucking cuck, you're doing it wrong. She's the one that should be cooking for you, no questions. While you're busy cooking for her and worrying she's out getting railed by Chad. So I guess you can cook anything that pairs well with semen so she can come home to a nice meal you prepared for her after swallowing all of Chad's load.

For me,

chicken penne

make roasted cauliflour soup
It's ezpz
I roast cauliflour at 500F until it's tender with a slight char on the outside
at the same time I slowly caramelize onions on the stove, about 1 onion per head of cauliflour
once both of those are done, but them in a blender/food processor and add cream or half and half until you have a smooth pure with a consistency you enjoy.
toss back on stove to warm up and season with salt.
garnish with some olive oil and fresh ground pepper and wa la a very delicious vegetarian soup.

Why? it's just an inept guy doing the best he can, it's better than most people who regards cooking as some sort of impossible mystical skill and wont even try it.

This guys youtube channel is great.

youtube.com/user/jakatak69

make lobster

don't forget your cleats

I would start with "grow up" grilled cheese. basil and tomato with a moz or swiss.

crack open a can of campbells tomato and whalla - middle class fancy.

related question.
What can I cook to make a girl really gassy?
obviously the fancier the better