Muh crumb

>muh crumb

Eat shit, crumbfags. My bread tasted delicious.

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>i'm a shit baker
>g-good bread s-sucks!

What the fuck are you on about?

I went onto a bread forum and posted the bread I made. Everyone was like

>let's see muh crumbshot

So I pisted this picture and they said

>muh crumb muh crumb

A bunch of homos

Your crumb is lacking.

So what's the secret to getting that really airy bread with all the holes in it anyway?

>those large uneven splotches of air

fucking pig disgusting op won't even feed to pigs

GIT GOOD

>he wants his bread to be full of holes
for what purpose

More nooks for spreads
bigger loaf

You can have a poor crumb and still have a good taste. Crumb is about texture and tenderness, not about taste.

Your bread is probably fine, but it could be better if you made an effort to improve the crumb. If you don't care that's cool, especially if you're just going to eat it yourself. If you're happy with it, it's good enough. But you shouldn't be surprised that people who care about baking bread point that out when you post it online.


And if you really think the texture of your food doesn't matter, just enjoy your bread in silence and stop posting it online, because you obviously don't know shit about anything.

>spread mayo on bread
>oozes through holes and makes a mess

Yeah, real great bread, crumbfag

>spread mayo on bread
>mayo
>on bread

Never had a club sandwich retard?

>not using mayo for your sandwiches

Moisture barrier + flavor for sandwiches

Do you not eat sandwiches?

>Moisture barrier + flavor for sandwiches

That's what butter is for.

youtube.com/watch?v=ubV3t9_CwDc

Or mayo

DUDE WHITE PEOPLE LMAO

Shieeeetttt

>LOL WYPIPO LOVE MAYONNAISE

Cuck

No. That is not what mayo is for. At all. Nor should you use mustard, ketchup, salsa, guacamole or gravy.

you people disgust me

>on a board for food
>profess to have a good palate
>cant even eat a sandwich without smothering it in mayo or butter

no better than ketchup on a hotdog, fucking trash

Dohohohohohoho you're so funny and clever

>smothering it in mayo or butter
A thin layer is all you need

Enjoy your dry-ass sandwiches then, you fuck

What's funny about it? Mayo is not butter and they are not interchangeable. Stop using condiments inappropriately.

>smothering it

I like how you fat people always assume nobody else has any sense of self-control or moderation either.

You're right, it's not the same as butter. For sandwiches, it's just plain better.

>better

No.

Yes.

>fat person excuse

mayo is shit on sandwiches, get some fucking taste

if your sandwich is dry you're fucking doing it wrong.

>if your sandwich is dry you're fucking doing it wrong.

Should I soak my bread in water first or do you have a different method?

us better ingredients, don't make shitty dry sandwiches, put a fucking tomato in it or something. anything but mayo.

>likes food
>doesn't like mayonnaise

choose one, faggot

slow down nigger think about what you are doing

>went to a bread forum to attention whore your bread
>its called shit by bread enthusiasts
>go to another forum filled with bread enthusiasts say how much the first bread enthusiasts were wrong
>get called a retard and you have shit bread again

I'm waiting for the thread on /b/ at this point

> oh god i hate lemon juice, olive oil, and egg yolks emulsified together

it's food you mong

>AHHHHH OIL AND EGGS AHHHHHH IM AUTISTIC AM I FITTING IN YET

nice

This triggers the white boy

Check muh crumbs

There are many techniques but I prefer to use this guy's. It has never once failed me.

youtube.com/watch?v=zgz0oAhgwyg

looks a bit dense, but otherwise pretty good.

Is he Bob Burger? Video is pretty interesting.

>olive oil

it's always olive oil with you pretentious bastards.

>tfw he overcooks his bread

T. Uncultured american

...

Explain with proper argumentation why ketchup on hotdog is bad.

you overcooked in your mom's womb

and you must have been half baked

not the guy you replied to, but about a year ago I started doing mustard + celery salt on my hotdogs and haven't looked back since.

Literally the only people who use mayo are Americans lol. I use Normandy butter and so should you

Why? Normandy butter isn't as good as Irish butter, inb4 edgelords going durr durr it's mainstream so it's bad.

I live in normandy, so it's beautifully fresh

>bread forum

Link?

In the netherlands and belgium mayo is the go to sandwich spread

Work on preparing a proper dough! Bread is not supposed to resemble Swiss cheese! If you have holes in your bread, you have not done it properly! I say this as a German who takes more pride from our bread than from our cars, if this is possible.

>no mayo on sandwiches
okay, guess you don't like mayo, whatever

>no mustard
fuck you you retard piece of shit

stupid faggot the only thing a sandwich should be is 1 (one) thin slice of ultra-high grade meat, enough lettuce for 1 (one) layer, and two very thick slices of homemade artisan bread. Anything else anf your a retarded faggot obese ameretard.

>mfw i put mayo AND mustard on my sandwiches

New meme 2017
>MUH CRUMB

American mayo isn't made out of eggs, they can't legally call it mayonnaise hence the abbreviation.

mayo and honey mustard on a turkey sandwich is pretty fucking fantastic

>dur mommy im being retarded on the internet again, do you love me yet?

>tfw white and unironically love this movie

>posting the top end example and pretending it is the norm

Good job, ameretard.

>Hellmann's is top shelf mayo

Eurotards, everyone.

are you basing yourself on something that is not just your opinion or are you just being severely autistic right now

Your autistic if you dont agree ameridumb

>he doesn't put mayo on his hotdogs

...

What? Are you retarded?

It's spelled out on every jar I've ever seen, and always has eggs.

Do Europeans really have spoopy wives' tales about America?

O B S E S S E D

>Carb loading and trays of cheesy cholesterol make me healfy

K.

I said nothing about cheese fucking retard gay amerifaggot.

Im too evolved to eat cheese anyway, so your triple gaytarded.

...

>moisture barrier
>mayo
What are you talking about? Lettuce is clearly the best moisture barrier as opposed to something that's semisolid and wet

Also mustard is GOAT

Texan here. I've never seen Mayo that isn't made from eggs. I don't even fucking know what else they'd make it out of.

Mayo is oil, lettuce is water. You are literally retarded

Mayo is oil, meat is water

>hurr fucking durr

Thanks for pointing out that most life on Earth is in fact water.

How do you plan on making a moisture barrier out of water

>wut is an emulsion

Do you speculate on how milk fat stays suspended within the milk too?

He's probably talking about miracle whip, which isn't mayo

Le epic post bro xD

pretty big bubbles shitlord.

it's not, it's just plebshit and the least quality condiment. even bakes beans from a can makes for a better tasting wiener. mayo on a sandwich is the same shit, the only sandwich mayo belongs on is a salisbury steak sandwich.

high hydration and long enough proofing

>getting this buttblasted over a thin layer of mayonnaise
You're not dipping your sandwich in it like a sauce
You're probably the same type of person that goes and pats a pizza down with a napkin thinking about all the "fat and grease" they managed to avoid.

You don't necessarily need high hydration.

youtube.com/watch?v=WxfbiGto4R8

>all these mayo fags

>not knowing the joys of mustard

Fags all of yah

I never realized white people liking mayo was a thing. I'm white and always hated mayo. Come to think of it, I really like fried chicken and watermelon, though...

>Sticky dough
>Soft flour
>Don't overknead
>Ferment for at least 48 hours

Octoroon detected.

>hot sauce and mayo is unironically best combo for sandwich

ebony and ivory

Bet he fists mean ass

Needs a hairnet for his arms.

Nigger

That's kind of what it sounds like when he's doing the initial lifting.

He can fist my ass
The hair adds character and will make the fisting feel better