Recipe

You're going to eat my recipe?

>pan
>nice and hot

muh dick

recipe is muh dick

oil
in

This is my favorite appetizer.

>Grill natural-casing kielbasa, whatever meat you prefer it's gotta have that intestinal crunch
>While it's grilling, slice up a block of sharp cheddar
>White preferred
>Take sausage off grill when it's got a nice char on both sides
>Slice into bite-sized chunks
>Open a box of good crackers, your preference
>Cracker - Cheese - Kielbasa
>Munch on with a glass of wine while sitting on the back porch

Perfect lead-up to the main course of a summer cookout.

>Trying to make cooking edgy
Everything going alright, user? I know middle school is tough.

>Cook with a fag in his mouth

Kek wtf user

Good recipe though

>boil some water
>cut up some asparagus, spring onions
>heat up a tiny amount of oil (canola or olive) in a pan
>throw the veggies in there
>add a tiny bit of sugar, like 1/3rd of a tablespoon
>cook it the way you like it
>throw spaghetti in the water
>add some cream, little by little until it's got a consistency you like
>at the very end throw some smoked salmon in the pan
>if you want, slice cocktail tomatoes in half and add to the pan
>don't let the salmon sit in the pan for too long or it will fall apart
>take pan of the heat once the salmon starts to get a tiny bit of color
>drain spaghetti, throw them in the pan
>mix it up

good for the ladies

forgot the seasoning: tiny bit of salt to balance out the cream (be careful with this as the salmon with add a good amount of salty taste to the final meal), a bunch of ground pepper (I like a lot of pepper), some chili flakes for some heat.

pan

nice and hot

olive oil

IN

Rustic contemporary oiled pan
DONE

warm brocolli salad:

cut up 1lb of broccoli, 1 bunch of spring onions, one "head" of mangold (or any chard you can get) and 1 yellow bell pepper. It's a salad, so everything should be in bite-sized chunks.
Heat up some olive oil in a pan, throw the brocolli in there. How long it stays in there is really up to you. The longer you let it cook, the softer the brocolli gets. Once you feel like the brocolli is like 2 minutes away from being done, throw in half your spring onions all of your mangold and your bell pepper. Cook it but not too long, all these vegetables fall apart pretty quickly and we want at least something in there with a little crunch to it. Season it with salt, pepper, fresh chili and a tiny bit of lemon peel if you're into that.

Buy one bag of mixed salad greens, like in the picture. Whatever you like is fine. If you feel fancy you can make that yourself too. Put those into your salad bowl. Drizzle some olive oil over the greens and grind some pepper into the mix.

take out your hot vegetables and set them aside. Quickly add some more olive oil to your hot pan and toast some sesame seeds and some pine nuts if you want to impress someone.

Mix your cold greens with your warm vegetables, add the toasted stuff, the other half of your (cold) spring onions and crumble one package (~7oz) of Feta cheese over your mixture. Give it all a quick toss. Don't spend too much fucking around when everything comes together or it'll be a big mush.

If you want you can grill up some chicken breasts, cut them up and add those to your salad. You can go pretty crazy here with the sauce/seasoning, a lot of stuff goes with your salad base.

ur mums cunt

after i give her my spaghetti how do i initiate sex or does this recipe take care of that

>1/3 of a tablespoon

thats a teaspoon, user.

Thanks buddy gonna try this tonight.

well, she just ate a bowl of spaghetti with a cream sauce, so not sure if she's into getting her ass pounded right away. but it's that long-term shit. Cook her this, she'll be back, and once she's back, you fuck her right away and make pancakes after.

I mean yeah, I'm retarded.

Hope you like it! Some stuff I left out: when you're cooking the broccoli, you can put a lid on the pan so it softens up quicker. If you add a tiny bit of water it saves even more time. I like it really soft, roommate wants it more crunchy, so I just put the lid on for half the cooking time.
Also, you don't really need to add more oil to the pan when toasting the sesame seeds / pine nuts, only do that if you want it extra extra toasty without burning your stuff.

found this super easy apple "pie" recipe which comes out pretty tasty:

>preheat oven to 330F (DON'T use the hot air fan thing mode if you have it, just traditional oven setting with top+bottom heat)
>whip up 4 eggs and 9 tablespoons of sugar until the sugar is dissolved (just scrape the attachements of your hand mixer against the bowl. If you don't feel anything crunchy and it seems like smooth mixture, you're done).
>add 9 tablespoons of flour
>add 9 tablespoons of oil
>add 1 package of baking soda
>mix it up good
>peel 1,5 big apples, cut into slices
>pour about half of your dough into your pie/bread pan (type of pan doesn't matter, just don't use something too big)
>spread your apple slices on top of the dough
>pour the rest of your dough on top of the apples
>put in oven for about 30minutes
>once it's nice and brown on top, stick a toothpick into the pie, if nothing sticks to it, it's done.

Super quick and simple, comes out pretty tasty. You can add some chopped nuts to your apples, the cake itself also goes really well with some caramel drizzle in top or some vanilla ice cream. It's generally a very flexible recipe.

>liquid doe
it can come out tasty if you add something else
my improvemnt?
>slice the apples, and put some mermelade on them(any kind of will work just fine, i would use ether lemon or orange for the acidity balance)
>mix it well so its like a thin coat covering the apple slices
that is the way i do my apple pies, just remember to not put to much memelade, just enough to give the flavor.

mine one is simple
>slice some potatoes around 3
>soak them in water on the side
meanwhile
>mince some onion
>beat 3-5 eggs depending on potatos used(depending on the size) set it aside for now
>drain the potato
>fry onions on medium heat
>5 mins later add potatoes
>fry untill potaotes are tender
>take the potatoes and oinons out in a strainer to drain excess oil
>add salt and pepper acording to your taste
>medium/small frying pan nice medium heat
>ether use butter(my preffered choice) or olive oil
>mix the potatoesand onios with the egg, mix well
>drop the mixture on pan, and with a spatula make an even layer
>after 1 minute lower the heat to the minimum, the lowest you can
>after couple of mins, flip it using the pan like a panckake (or use a plate if you are a fag), do not use spatula or it will break the homlete
>same time for the other side

congrats now you have a Tortilla De Patata that has runny egg inside\
shit is tasty as fuck, can eat all day.

vod in spanish, just look at the technique youtu.be/KDI1lVRV8g8

I've made that a couple times. Only egg dish I actually like.

chicks dig it.
put a triangle on some rustic bread that's been toasted, it taste so good you will get laid 100% secured.
also it takes less than 30 mins to prepare, so you can do it in front of her wile you chat.
literally there is no way to fail.
also
how to make an "asian" coffee from Cartagena Spain
>condensed milk in the bottom
>one expresso cafe on top
>a splash of liquor 43 (you can buy it online, it aint to expensive)
>a spash of good brady
>a bit of cinamon ( not to much)
>serve, stir and drink
shit is insane good. literally only kind of coffee i drank while i was there

forgot vod youtu.be/WWwI8_GgT84