No-wipers

What foods can I eat that will help my body produce clean and efficient no-wiping bowel movements?

KFC

Squat over he bowl

taco bell

Vegetables and fibre filled foods like bran.

Oats, brown rice, veggies.

Just get a bidet bro

this is false; fiber will soften your poop—if you want no-wipers, you should eat keto
source: eat 38g fiber on the daily

sour dough rye bread with margerine

I once drunkingly ate an entire box of fiber one bars and shit clean for a week. The kind of dumps where you can just stand up, pull up your pants and walk away.

Wipe anyways you nasty mother fucker.

Fuck you. I'm not wasting toilet paper.

then why was I told to take metamucil to make my chronic diarrhea go away after a camera was shoved up my ass

Brown rice. I don't exercise at all and barely get much movements a day. I eat 3 cups of uncooked brow rice a day alongside protein I cook. First thing I do when I wake up is go straight to the toilet to shit out all the brown rice I ate. It's a feeling only the heavens can compete with. You know it's good fiber if you can still see the rice unprocessed. Sometimes I think if I can stir up my shit and wash the unprocessed rice and use it again somehow.

>I eat 3 cups of uncooked brown rice a d-

Dude what the fuck?

I mean portion wise. Not necessarily uncooked.

...

OK but you still have to explain the last part of your post.

You know what, nevermind, just don't.

Bro if you eat good fiber, I'm sure you've seen that some of it is unprocessed. Like seriously, no ones ever wondered if they could reuse the unprocessed nutrition? Am I the only astronaut minded individual here? Sheesh, make me look like the devil.

You pretty much are the devil.
You don't pluck undigested food out of your popp and reuse it.
Unless you're using an Apple computer/phone right now then I understand your thinking.

>mfw NASA literally convinced someone to eat their own poop

I stopped eating gluten and my shits went from totally messy and smelling awful to almost no wipe tier clean

but fuck do I miss gluten

>pluck undigested food out of your popp
I just eat the poop, user. Rabbits do it, seems to work for them.

You know astronauts can use their poo to shield against radiation from being too close to the sun? They also recycle their pee to drink. Just saying m8. Trying to be environmentally friendly here as well as cautious in times of need.

>on a Lenovo X1 and own a Nexus 6p

i eat lots of wholegrain bread, seeds (linseeds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds), beans, chickpeas, lentils, and try to eat 8 servings of vegetables a day, and my poo comes out in perfect logs and its 1 wipe and im done.

Dumb plebs, just shit while you're showering. No mess and your but is always clean 24/7 guaranteed.
I don't even have a roll of toilet paper in my apartment, I just stopped buying a while back.

Potatoes. Potatoes make me shit big logs with almost no wiping.

Because that person is retarded

how do you eat beans and seeds every day. what do you even do with them?

There are two kinds of fibre. They get unfortunately lumped together on many nutrition fact panels, so people often end up buying the wrong kind for their needs (insoluble is bad for the runs.)

>astronaut minded

hare-brained