Hey guys I've got a big of a weird problem

Hey guys I've got a big of a weird problem.

I'm trying to learn to cook, but the problem is that I can't buy a knife. Every time I go in, they ask me to show some ID to prove I'm over 18 (if you look under 25 they have to ask), but my passport and birth certificate are at my mum's house and I don't have a driver's license. I've gone to multiple shops multiple times, none of them will let me buy a fucking knife.

All I have is a table knife (one you actually eat food with) but it takes like an hour to cut up my vegetables using that. It's got to the point where I just have to rip the vegetables apart with my hands.

What can I do about this?

don't live in a shit country

pro shitpost user

You're going to need to whip up all the aged stereotypes in the book, and then saunter into the shop in character. possibly on a zimmerframe

Do you have a knife permit?

>mfw Bongs need an ID just to buy kitchen knives

>2017
>still buying things at stores
>not just ordering everything online

>passport and birth certificate
Holy shit, don't you have just a regular ID card like a driver's license or something?

>You have to be at least 18 in Britain to buy a simple tool
Constitutional monarchy was a mistake.

Damn, why didn't I think of this before. Thanks mate

Read my post, idiot. I said I don't have a driver's license. I don't even know how to drive.

go to your mum's house
get your passport
find some bullshit to join that will also give you photo ID so you have more alternatives

wa la

make her give you you passport.

You should get a provisional just to have the photo id. Although they might've phased them out now, idk

Emigrate to America.

Try entering the Dark Web.

When knives are outlawed,
Only outlaws will have knives.

Become an outlaw; steal a knife.

I'll take Amazon.com for $200, Alex.

Do they not have non-driver ID in the UK?

Have her mail the passport to you? Not the quickest way, but better than taking the train.

Can someone translate? I don't speak cuckoldese

We invented the language you fucktard, every time you use our language you're being cucked by England.

Thinly veiled attempt at instigating a /k/ flamewar

Sage and do not reply

>We invented the language you fucktard
No, every time you speak it you're getting cucked by the saxons you filthy briton

Welcome to capitalism.

Get one for £15 from ValidateUK

You can't buy a fucking kitchen knife?! That's absurd.