Morning coffee

...

>don't talk to me until I had my first coffee
>person proceeds to drink his coffee, finishes it
>talk with the person again, still in a shitty mood

So what exactly was the coffee for?

to get you to shut up for five minutes?

It's not magic.
It just helps the person drinking it feel better, it doesn't make the person they're talking to less annoying.

>abandon all hope, ye who enter here
>the end is near
>all is empty, you may approach

We bought a cup like this for my sister in law. Every morning she wakes up in a bad mood, you can actually tell if she has had coffee yet simply by having a conversation with her.

>me when my son's stepfather talks to me before I've had my 4th triple espresso.

I need exercise in the morning to help my mood.
Before that I kind of hate everything and just want to stay in bed forever.

I wish I could drink coffee before the exercise to help motivate me to do it since I always drag my feet for like an hour before picking up a weight... but doing exercise with any kind of stimulant in me makes me feel like crap.

I suppose, buy the logic of some people who like to talk shit about morning coffee drinkers, my morning exercise is bad for me because they don't need it to feel good when they wake up.

ugh... dont reply to this post until I've had my morning coffee... UGH

>when my wife's son talks to me before I put 'cha in my 'sso

did u have ur coffe yet`

Too bad cocksucker

ugh is such a cunty word / sound / onomatopaeia

Do coffee actually helps or is it just a meme? I am sure that most of them are pretending. I drank like 1 litre of coffee once, I had to work at night but it didn't help a bit, not to mention it tastes like shit, why even drink coffee anons?

is this a shoop

Shhhhh.

*Pours a half -liter of sugared water and soybean oil, dunks my donut in and takes a big swig*

Wheeeeew.

NOW you may speak.

no its just his glasses and dumb hair and beard that make it look like jimmy neutron

>half liter of sugared water and soybean oil
don't forget shittons of syrup, two oreos and a whole vegan twinkie

>Don't talk to me until I've had that first sip

for me

no

Why do I have the urge to beat his face in with a pipe?

That's a sign for coffee addiction.
If you need a drug to get your body running in the morning, you're addicted.
Just admit it and everybody can move on.

>those skinny arms

What the fuck

>Hey user have you had your morning coffee and cigarette yet?

Literally every morning from my coworker. I don't know if it annoys me or not.

oh my fucking god of course he smokes weed
I fucking knew it

Do not bully the ayy weed lmao big hair man. He genuinely brings a smile to my face every time I see him, he's so fucking goofy looking.

because you have anger problems?

should just be honest and call it a general at this point you flaming faggot

>drink hot coffee
>can't taste shit
>let it cool off
>remember i made coffee 3 hours ago
>can finally taste the real flavor (notes of cirtrus and all that bullshit description on it)
what the fuck?

I hate that stale "ugh, don't speak to me once I have finished this hot beverage about which the Gilmore Grills have told me that it's ok to be a total bitch without it" meme

Why are coffee drinkers such insufferable faggots?

you're talking to me before i've had my coffee idiot

>unironically pretending that a small ass cup like that can actually hold a significant enough amount of coffee to contain a significant enough amount of caffeine to actually have any measurable effect on the human body and mind

coffee takes like an hour to peak

Not jocking here, you guys should only use stimulants for very specific reasons. Enforcing this habit of only waking up after coffee, or drinking numerous cups of it throughout the day isn't good for you. If you can't function without it, something is really wrong, and it's starting to rust.

>I LITERALLY can not function without my brown sugar water

>measurement lines meant to advise others about coffee drinking progress from a comfortable distance
>mug is opaque
Why does capitalism do this?

>UGH don't talk to me ya facking cunt
>*drinks mycotoxin*
>*gets digestive problems and boulder shits from tannic acid*
>NOW you may le speak

i quit. caffeine tolerance became so bad that i needed multiple coffees just to feel normal, and had zero stimulation. i have like 3x the adenosine receptors of a normal person

I don't even let my hubby talk to me before my morning coffee

How does it feel being the only human being ass-ravaged over dark-roast coffee?

I drink dark-roast every day and my shits are nice and smooth as a niggers dick so ugh, seriously could you, like, not?

>never drank coffee
>people are forbidden from speaking to me

>ugh I need like 2 to 3 vodka tonics before I can face the world

I really, really like this post. I intend to reply to it twice.

Here's your extra (You)

>dont talk to me until ive had my coffee
>meanwhile I drank til 2 in the morning, woke up with my head splitting yet am somehow more functional than mr coffee fag by the time i get to work

>start to drink coffee more often because have been sleeping worse and in new environment where everyone drinks coffee
>heart hurts every so often and terrified the coffee is going to make it explode

guys.. guys? are you listening? well you better be you fucking lowlife because its my mourning coffee time. Thats right its my ME time. Absolutely no talking, you wouldn't be conversing with another human whilst I bathe in my own self importance would you? I need to put on my ugg boots and go talk to about self-care and nutella with a bunch of other ugly hipsters, you wouldn't be talking in MY coffee drinking experience would you?

People who are grumpy before their first cuppa are addicts suffering withdrawal.

Could somebody red pill me on whole coffee beans?

Can you buy them in larger quantities and cheaper than pre-grinded stuff? I'm prepared to pay for the initial investment of a coffee grinder, I just want it to be cheaper and better in the long run.

they're generally cheaper and will always taste better if you grind them right before you brew
just remeber to get a good grinder and use the right settings for your preparation method

Because you didnt take your morning coffee yet.

Don't talk to me until I've had my morning tequila.

Who else just likes the taste of coffee and destroyed any chance of caffeine actually working?

me, kinda
when I need a real kick I just go for yerba mate, I only drink coffee on weekends

are there adults who actually behave like how it is implied in this pic?

quirky lesbians mostly

Yep, my old boss

SHUT UP YA FRIGGIN HIPSTER FRUIT!!

how are you supposed to know how much the person drank if the mug isn't clear?

this is fucking retarded

You think about these things far too much.

>no worries boss, just give me 5 to finish this my break.

>gf used to "demand" coffee
>First stage of our relationship so I got some to stock in the pantry
>She'd receive it happily
>Leave her with it as I go out to work
>I come back after work
>Nearly full cup sitting there cold
>She doesn't understand why I am mad at waste

Don't date Americans guys

Me, at 6.55 am

>he thinks those arms are skinny
Oh boy am I embarrassed...

Yeah user, don't overthink it. You obviously have the ability to see through the mug baka.

Middle aged women who have nothing better to do, yes. It's the same crowd that has quirky wine glasses and shares this kinda shit on fb

>quirky wine glasses
huh that's a new one I haven't seen

Reminds me of my aunty.
I thank god every day that I am not as stupid as those fucking Toowoomba cunts.

You can find them fucking everywhere with other stupid shit written on them, I'm sure they've got them at any fine goddamn retailer like Walmart or Bed, Bath & Beyond. And the bitches using these stupid fucking glasses are always the cunts drinking fucking Red Cat and Glenora fucking CHRIST they make me so fucking angry in their stupid 'drunk dumb bitches' limos
And none of them can fucking drive, either

>tfw Queensland still exists

>tfw polish
instead of quirky wine glasses we have quirky vodka glasses

Just had cup number 3 for the morning

>drink coffee
>get the shits

Is that Jimmy Neutron?

I mostly like coffee because it enhances my morning shit

[spoiler]TURBO POWERED MIND[/spoiler]

Anyone here tried caffeine tablets?
I tried once to see if they quickened me up, they didn't!

This. Coffee is only for you to cleanse yourself of the dinner you had last night and not having to worry about it throughout the day. Anyone who praises coffee culture is a fucking idiot.

DUDE
DRUG ADDICTION
LMAO

don't drink coffee on an empty stomach, it causes irritation

Here's your ^

>it's the "dont talk to me until ive had my coffee" guy
try using bleach instead of creamer for your next cup

aww.. poor baby.
did your wittle feefees get hurt by someone liking what you dont like?
I think it's time to change your pampers.

>using creamer

aww.. poor baby.
did your wittle feefees get hurt by someone liking what you dont like?
I think it's time to change your pampers.

>20 oz of this swill
>7 days a week

Any other espresso autists around?

I'm pulling shots of an Ecuador Ethiopia Bourbon from Fire Fly farm. Roasted by Sump coffee down the street from me. Picked some up since they won some "America's Best Especially" award with it.

Pretty dang good at the parameters I'm pulling at (15g in, 21g out, fairly long shot time, ending up with 20-22% exty depending on how well I have it dialed). But, honestly, I liked the Costa Rica San Luis I had from them just before a lot better.

Just smelling coffee in the morning causes bowel movements

>Sump

An STL nigga on my Veeky Forums?

>wake up
>drink coffee
>take three shits
>now the day can commence as usual

Awshit, yep! Didn't think I'd ever see anyone else from round here.

I didn't need to see this.

>powered
>fueled
>sustained
But those all basically mean the same fucking thing

Best beans???

I'm trying to get started. Please, help an ignorant newfag out.

By store brand, I'm not even joking. Costco and Sam's Club store brands are significantly better than meme local roasters and coffee chains
>stärke
Yeah I have no idea what you krauts have

>By store brand
Buy*
>coffee chains
Coffee chains' beans

I need sleep

STL Reporting in. I've never even had an espresso.