"I love coffee!"

Drinking expresso is such a euroboo meme

Why don't you develop some trade skills you fucking worthless piece of shit.

extra milk hook it up, famo.

Nobody who orders coffee anywhere but a diner or mcdonalds gets drip, they get espresso. What the fuck are you on about?

syrup doesn't go in coffee, user

that's pancakes you're thinking of

Third wave coffee shops pride themselves on different brewing methods and specialty drip coffee from premium roasters so... what are you on about?

I love a nice latte!

>Because for whatever reason my store feels the need to bus in seniors and retards to give them shopping days

Holy shit mine did the same thing. The seniors were either super nice or complete fucking assholes, there was no in between. I overheard my boss at the time talk to one of the seniors and told her:

"My employees are just doing their job, they have no control over the prices of your items. Please stop being so rude to them."

The other fucker's excuse for being rude was literally thing:

"Well I'm old"

Then her friend apologized on her behalf and they left. My boss was a real ass nigga for that though. She hated the "the customer is always right" bull shit and got in a lot of trouble constantly for it, but she always stuck up for us. What a wonderful human being.

true or false: more often than not the customer is either wrong or retarded

I worked at a McDonalds in high school and almost every morning was like that.

>tfw friends looking at me like a mad man when I was drinking the cold brew black
pussies

A person who enjoys milk chocolate can reasonably say they like chocolate. Why doesn't the same extend to beverages with similar proportions of milk and sugar?

I disagree if I heard someone say they like chocolate and I saw them eat milk chocolate I'd assume they mostly like to eat sugar same with coffee there's nothing wrong with that

This is true of people, customers are just people. There is no filter at the door to keep out the mentally below average. Half the people you encounter are below average intelligence ergo probably wrong about most things.

>be working in hotel bistro
>our bistro serves starbucks shit
>shift almost over thank god
>hark, a wild pack of fucking negress teenagers
>fuck my life
>"Ayo I wanna carrmaalll mocha latiatooo iced" fumbling with fucking folded up bills and change
>we don't do the iced shit at my hotel but w/e
>make it for them
>she sips it
>"Ew nigga this tastes like coffee!"
>wish I could hate people to death

I really, really wish I was making up this fucking story

This was my experience as well. Old people are either super cool or fucking assholes. I would also make it a point to thank people whose children were fucking behaved in the store. Not in earshot of the people with screeching tumor-goblins, of course.

I can safely say Groceries were the worst 3 years of my life. Kickstarted my clinical depression. Now i'm on meds and slightly better.

Is this the new 'go 'za? There's a new fucking "don't le talk to me until I've had my coffeeee reddit ;-) *puts a teaspoon of coffee in a mug of heavy cream*" like every day now

that's bad as a starbucks every starbucks in my area not only has to learn secret menu items they have to learn how to do all their drinks flawlessly

It's somewhat understandible since, if you work at starbucks, being a Barista is your job.

Being a Barista is not my job. Being a fucking COOK is not my job. I am the goddamn motherfucking night auditor but for some fucking reason they have me working in every other fucking department half the time to cover for people and I am flipflopping between 6 am to 2 pm and 11 pm to 7 am shifts and it is driving me fucking insane I have been up for almost 24 hours now they fucking called me an hour ago to see if I could come in and cover for a cook that called out sick even though I have to work night audit tonight at midnight goddamnit I hate hotels so much

>Customer shows up
>"Hi, did you find everything you needed today?"
>Bewildered look
>Turns out customer cannot speak a fucking word of English

I have this same problem except with romania trailer trash cunts. Nothing fucking works with them, no English, no German, no French, nothing.

I just want to throw shot glasses at people who order espresso shots then proceed to let the shot die while they sip on it over the course of 10 minutes. Also got bitched at by the owner for telling a customer to google cappuccino when they said their cappuccino was almost all foam. Apparently I should have just remade a latte for them. Also had an interesting customer get pissed off because I gave them the wrong drink when they ordered a macchiato yesterday. Apparently a macchiato is a full glass of steamed milk with caramel on top but what the fuck do I know?

I fucking love European customers, I legitimately get excited when I hear an accent because I know they know what the fuck they're ordering.

Also, just got an aeropress for my home coffee and tea a week or two ago. Highly regret not getting one sooner. Haven't done a pour over for myself since.

My steak was overcooked says the stupid patron while sending back all but the near bone parts of the steak.

I thought the stereotypes about jews were just bullshit before I came to NYC. Some of them will throw an absolute fit when the scanned price is a nickel more the listed price

What's tea a week? Also why do all my aeropress taste like caramelish hinted coffee? This was across two diff supermarket beans. I do a not too fine grind with approx 90 to 120 steep time..

Jesus Christ. Yeah people at my shop will order caramel macchiatos then complain saying "ugh they never stir them!" Or bitch about how they're "not sweet enough".

Asians and Indians. This is true. They always bring flyers from Chinese/Indian stores and I wonder why they don't just fucking shop there. I'll tell you why, the quality of the produce and neat doesn't hold a candle to North American stores, this is from personal experience

The retards are just disturbing but usually kept in check by their handlers. What you say about old people is true, either warm and friendly or bitter and rude. Props to your manager.

This is absolutely true. Though sometimes a simple misunderstanding happens, which I am more than willing to understand. Though I am not willing to understand ignorance or rudeness.

Probably gypsies desu. Here it's all old Chinese or Indians who try to speak to ME in their language like I'll understand! More than once have I had to page for anyone at all in the fucking store who could interpret.

I've had like two Jewish people ever at my cash. The one time it came out too high, he just brought it to my attention and it turned out the thing he was trying to buy didn't have the price adjusted in the system so I just manually input it and continued without incident. But NYC Jews? Damn man I feel for you.

I can post more experiences. Just give me a bit to recall and type.

>love coffee
>usually get cappuccino or espresso nothing with added sugar or syrups
>person behind me gets a sugary mess of a drink
> dont care because im not an autist and freak out about what other people drink when it doesnt affect me in any way

>I can post more experiences. Just give me a bit to recall and type.
Please do.

Does anybody else think drinking hot coffee while someone licks your asshole would be the best feeling in the world?

oh boy have I got one for you

this is just whipped cream I think

Okay it's again, I'll post some stories of repeat offenders and small time incidents as I recall and type them

>Lady comes with flyers to match
>Look at first item to match for plain bulk peanuts
>Flyer looks to be valid and in-date
>Tries to use that price for candied peanuts, in a jar
>Explain to her that I cannot give her those peanuts at that price
>"But they're both peanuts!"
>Not sure if lady is either stupid or trying to be a smartass
>Next item is for fish balls, again, flyer is legitimate
>Tries to use this for mussels, in a package twice the weight listed on the flyer
>"But they're also fish balls!"
>Next item as my blood pressure starts to rise
>This price is for a well known Canadian brand of sour cream that our store carries. Surely she can't fuck this up.
>Entirety of the tub is written in Arabic, save for the translated sticker
>"Strained yogurt"
>"I don't think this is sour cream"
>"But it's made from sour cream!"
>Nearly lose my patience and tell her that shit is also made from food, but nobody shits on their plate at lunch

Relevant:

youtube.com/watch?v=3kz7_g5cU6w

Yes!
Best film ever made!

Congratulations, you found someone drinking a vanilla frappucino.

Judging by those lumps they should probably have stayed away from starbucks altogether

>After a few months of working here, turns out I'd made some regulars
>One of them was a creepy, South African bastard I'd taken to referring to as "Aardvark" because he had a really long, protruding face that just made him grotesque as all Hell
>He would send people ahead of him in line, just so he could come to my register, already a massive red flag
>Wouldn't even try to match prices from flyers, they'd be off fucking Amazon and eBay bids. Even screenshots of "flyers" made with meme font. I shit you not.
>Managers had to tell him to leave more than once

> Work at a Walmart in Canada
> I don't hate on Americans, but the worst stereotype comes into menswear
> Massively obese, has his own scooter with an American flag sticking out the bad, looks redneck as fuck
> "Where do you keep the size 5XL t-shirts?"
> "I'm sorry sir, our largest size is 3XL, and we don't get many of them."
> Goes on angry rant complaining that it's discrimination
> "Not carrying an item that you need isn't discrimination. Discrimination would be if we had turned you away at the front door."
Thank fuck a manager didn't hear me say that.

>At register one day, not too busy so I'm just chatting with a coworker until a customer approaches with a basket
>Ringing things out, everything's usual right up until tomatoes
>"These are fresh tomatoes?"
>"Yes, sir. We take great care in making sure our produce is as fresh as possible"
>Smells the tomatoes, figure that's kinda odd but if he's buying them then whatever
>"Here. You smell"
>Nah I'm good
>Guy proceeds to take a big fucking bite out of one of the tomatoes as though it were an apple
>WAT
>mfw he tries to offer me a bite
>"No, not fresh. Put back"
>Tell manager what just happened
>Turns out he's known for being a senile old fuck
>Turns out he started a shouting match with one of the security guards over basically nothing

Walmart guy again. Ive got a few of these stories. Not sure if I can be bothered to greentext them though.

I once had a guy come through my register, said he wanted to pay with a credit card.
> Waiting for him to get his card
> He does nothing
> "The pinpad is right here sir"
> Still nothing
> "Chip in the bottom, sir"
> He tells me, as if this is normal and obvious, "Well I don't have it ON me!"
> "... That's going to be a problem, sir."
> Angrily complains about how Walmart "makes you jump through hoops."

>worked at a Dairy Queen in high school
>some stupid bitch came through the drive thru livid about her chili cheese dog order bring wrong....
>...............that she ordered at another Dairy Queen.

>ordered a McDouble with mac sauce
>it didn't come with mac sauce
>take it up and tell them
>they make me another
>they let me keep the first one
>I just threw it outside for the birds on the way out

I know this feeling, let me share a similar experience

>Warm summer morning, enjoying the peace and quiet in the store
>"Hey user, a customer needs to to bring a motorized scooter to their car, their license plate is XXX-YYYY"
>Go about doing the job, figure it's probably an elderly person doing their morning shopping or an injured person
>Pull up to door and instantly hit with the most foul and sickening smell I could have expected. I'm surprised the metal of the car didn't instantly rust when I opened the door
>Worse than the time my mother tried to make a few dozen jars of sauerkraut and didn't seal the jars properly so all the cabbage just rotted and stank like a corpse
>This fucking behemoth of a person probably weighed at least 500 lbs
>"Can't you get closer?! I can't move that far!"
>The scooter is almost touching the car
>I come to the horrible conclusion that I might have to help this thing onto its scooter
>Grab the hand in the seemingly least threatening area
>Feels like a sweaty foam mattress covered in clammy skin
>As this monster slides into the cart I breathe a sigh of relief
>"Why isn't it moving?!"
>Weight limit on the cart tripped
>We had to call the fucking fire department to get this fat sack of shit off it

>Finished up ringing an order
>"Do you guys accept Apple Pay?"

This is a grocery store, not a gay bar.

> Doing price changes one day, price of the item is going up. I have to cut the old price off of the price tag with a pair of scissors before putting the price sticker on
> Customer sees me doing this
> Gets very angry, yells at me very loudly, tells me that what I'm doing is highly illegal
> "...Are you honestly unaware of the existence of inflation? There is nothing illegal about this."
> He complains to a manager
> Manager tells him that it's not illegal but that he would sell him the item at the old price
> He never even wanted the item
Retail will make you hate people

>espresso is 80% milk

Neat story, but the problem with my customer wasn't his weight, it was that he actually believed that not carrying his size was discrimination. Are we supposed to carry every conceivable size just in case a customer needs it?

working there

> Bunch of kids throwing a ball around the toy department
> Ball comes straight at me. To their credit, I'm pretty sure they didn't throw it at me deliberately.
> Perfect catch.
> "You know, the weather's great today, and there's a park real close to here with plenty of space. I'd be happy to open up the register at the cosmetics counter and ring this through for you. You won't even have to wait in line."
> Kids look intimidated, leave.
Problem solved.

Oh I know, but this one wasn't much better.

How the fuck does one get that fat?

People dump tons of shit into their coffe while i just make the strongest espresso i am able to create and drink a normal cup of it

>Retail will make you hate people

Fucking this. I once worked in the paint department at a hardware store. I had a woman come in and ask me:

"If I paint my baseboards this color (holds up a color sample), will it make the band on my wristwatch look too wide?"

Dunno. I mean, we get alot of people who ask for sizes so big that we don't carry them, but the usual reaction is usually something along the lines of "oh well, thanks anyways". I have no problems with these customers.

Jimmy John's does not toast subs. No Jimmy John's toasts its subs. There are no toasters in Jimmy John's. You literally cannot ever get your sub toasted at any Jimmy John's anywhere ever. This is a core incompetency of our shitty fast food chain, it is what makes JJ's what it is.
This does not stop people from demanding that you toast their sub for them (presumably by sticking it down the front of my pants and using my crotch heat to toast the sub because, as I have mentioned, we do not have a toaster).
And then when you say, "I can't do that," they get offended and say, "But the Jimmy John's near my house toasts subs."
No, ma'am, they abso-fucking-lutely do not.

Also, people who walk in past the big sign out by the parking lot that says Jimmy John's, walk toward the big sign that says Jimmy John's, walk through the door that says Jimmy John's, and approach the fucking counter with the fucking menu board that says fucking JJ's and ask the person in the fucking Jimmy John's uniform, "Is this Jimmy John's?"
No, sir, this is a Sonic, we're using camouflage.

And finally, the shits who try to pay with a $100 bill for a $10 meal and get irritated when I don't have change in my drawer.

Oh man, every day, the thousands of dumb questions. Half the time the answer is right there on the box.

Speaking of boxes, the fucking customers who think it's just okay to open up the boxes, then act surprised when you tell them they can't do that. Then they buy an unopened box. Sometimes there's even a display model, or a box that was already opened by another fucktard customer, and they still feel the need to open another one.

A woman once asked me if a pair of high heels were comfortable. "Yes they are, I have a pair of those myself at home. How did you know that I'm a drag queen on the weekends?"

The JJ's in my town does toast subs

You are a lying whore and I will end you.

Kek! I'm lmaoing at your wageslave lives lmao. Can't wait till automation fucks you all over

Can't wait till your mum dies and your NEET ass gets thrown out on the street.

If anyone here works at Subway, I gotta ask, is there a policy stating that when a customer uses a buy-one-get-one-free coupon to upgrade a six-inch into a footlong, that you have to make them as separate six-inches, even when they're exactly the same?

Walmart guy again, got a story from a customer POV.

> At Subway. Before ordering, I hand him my two-for-one coupon and explain that I want to use it to upgrade a six-inch into a footlong.
> Tells me that he can't do that
> Im polite as can be. After all, perhaps I read the coupon wrong? "Oh, I'm sorry, did I misread the coupon? Is it expired?"
> "This coupon allows you to get 2 6inches for the price of one"
> "Right. They're both for me. They will both be exactly the same. So you may as well just make one footlong."
> "This coupon does not get you a foot long. It's a two for one."
> Utterly bewildered, I just go along with it, ordering two identical 6inches and politely informing him from the start that they will be identical.
> as if to spite me, instead of using a full sized bun, he uses the half-bun from a previous customer's 6inch order and then cuts a second bun of the same bread type in half for my other 6inch
> After finishing my first 6inch, he asks me what I want on the second. Again, I politely inform him that the second sandwich is identical. He makes my second sandwich separately instead of saving himself some effort by making one footlong
> He actually asks me what sauces I want on my second one. To be fair though, he may have simply forgot what I asked for on the first.

Next week I go back, there's someone else working there, but the same scenario plays out again.

You were in the wrong, your coupon was for 2 six inches, not a 12 inch

6 × 2 = 12

He was technically correct, I guess.
Although a footlong is cheaper than two six inchers because there is more labor (and therefore labor cost and longer turnover time) involved in making two six-inchers, and that half a roll may end up as wastage, and generally it would have made more sense to just do the upgrade, but whatever.

Could also be the manager was watching. Some managers are complete dicks about stuff that makes no sense. Part of why, back when I worked retail, I prefered night shifts. So long as everything adds up by the time the manager shows up, it doesn't matter what exactly you may or may not have done.

And that's what you got. 6x2.

They are different items, you didn't have a coupon for half off a 12in. Say I had a coupon for BOGO refried beans. I pick out the container with twice as many beans as the one indicated on the coupon and attempt to debate with the cashier about how she should just charge me for one of the small cans since "it's the same amount of food anyway". Do you think this is acceptable?

I drink exclusively vanilla iced coffees

That's different. Those items would have two different UPCs. There's no barcode on a sandwich. The sandwiches are not prepacked in different containers.

... Am I being trolled here?

I work an auto parts retail usually delivery driver but I fill in on the counter occasionally. It's more or less the same types of shit and stupid questions like grocery stores. But probably the absolute worst is the Homegrown mechanics who have absolutely no fucking clue what they are even doing.

"I want this part."
I explained the park does not fit the application but they insist I sell it to them anyways.
They come back within the next couple days and return the part buying the original recommended one.

>there is no barcode on a sandwich
How the hell do you think they keep track of inventory? When you buy it, it goes into the system as the item it is, not the combination of 2 items.
You think McDonalds will give you a large fry if you have a coupon for BOGO small fries?

Do you think it physically has to be two six inch sandwiches for them to ring it up as such?
The fry analogy doesn't work because the packaging at subway is literally identical for a 6" or a 12".

Fucking autism I swear to god

You are the one with autism. What difference does it make if you get one sandwich or two? You had the coupon for 2 sandwiches and went on a sperg spree because you wanted 1.

You get the item on your coupon, it's not valid in any other form. You don't get a 12in for the price of a 6in, that's not what the fucking thing said.

Top kek

No, but again, this is different. Is an order of large fries exactly twice as much as 2 orders of small fries? I don't know. Also, they use different containers. Maybe it's important that the number of containers used matches the orders sent out? Probably not, but maybe it does, I don't know. A footlong and two six inches use the exact same amounts of the exact same ingredients and packaging. I would have been fine with him wrapping the two halves separately like two 6inches, in fact that's what I'd expect. And no, subway sandwiches do not have barcodes. There's some sort of code that they put it, but they don't scan anything. There's nothing to stop him from making both subs at once and putting it into the system as two 6inches with a BOGO coupon. The end result is exactly the same, except doing them both at the same time saves me time and saves him both time and effort.

This is completely different from both examples you gave.

Sperg spree? I carefully worded my post to make it clear that I was polite the entire time. Just bewildered.

There is no reason it couldn't be rung up as two seperate items despite being prepared as one.

You felt the need to post the story on Veeky Forums and REEEEE that you got 2 sandwiches instead of 1.

Similarly, there is no reason to prepare it as one item when the offer is clearly for two smaller items.

>The end result is exactly the same
but it isn't, you said
>he uses the half-bun from a previous customer's 6inch order and then cuts a second bun of the same bread type in half for my other 6inch
If he had made you a footlong there would have been a less fresh 6in loaf sitting on the shelf for longer, and if I had to guess I'd bet that's against policy.

I, too, worked in a shitty Starbucks-like cafe. Some people I worked with don't even drink coffee containing beverages. You can guess, what quality their drinks are...
Tbh, they can't do anything wrong. The beans used are shit, the machine and grinder aren't adjusted at all and the bosses don't know anything about coffee at all.
Our customers order stuff like an decaf. Soy Milk Roché Macchiato (latte macchiato with Nutella and Hazelnutsirup inside, cream, chocolate syrup and hazelnut on top).
I'm glad I have an machine with E61 brew group, a good grinder and good beans at home and don't have to deal with that anymore.

Actually, I'll concede that your point about the half-bun being left out for longer actually makes sense. This is probably exactly why they were made separately, now that I think of it. The rest of your points are still shit though.

Congrats, you're only 66% retarded.

Motherfucking sandniggers.

I work at a 5 guys and I die inside every time I see a muslim guy with his family walk in the store.

>walk in 10 minutes before close
>we cook the bacon on the grill so we have to clean it every time one of these fuckers comes in since they can't eat pork
>always order "beef burger" because saying hamburger like a normal person would send them to hell
>only buy food for him and his wife NEVER for his children, who survive on the free peanuts in the store.
>never tips

Every time it's close to closing and we see one of these guys come up to the store now we just throw a ton of bacon on the grill and they turn around and go home, fucking hilarious.

Also, I had this mom come in with her poor kid and on this day I nearly quit my fucking job. This nigress comes in with her kid and her kid is so pale he looks like a white person, and looks totally sick. This mother walks up and orders a hamburger and nothing for her kid. The kid immediately vomits all over the floor. I just hand her some paper towels to clean it up, it's her fucking kid and I'll go out and bleach it later. Mind you, there are other customers in the store that now have to smell and look at vomit. She cleans it up and is waiting on her food and this kid is all over this box of peanuts, leaning on it and coughing into it and he vomits again right into a whole box of peanuts. Again, in front of customers.

Another guy put in his order and then asked if the peanuts were free, and I told him yes since he was a paying customer. The guy eats and then the next thing I know this guy is walking out the store with a whole fucking box of peanuts and I had to chase him down before he got to his car.

Working in the food service industry has made me lose all hope in the future of humanity, but of course you'd have to be crazy to spend 12 bucks on a fucking hamburger.

>packaging is the same

Two sandwiches equals more packaging and more cost.

There is a reason: it is cheaper and faster to make one sandwich than two.
Especially because of labor. One of the key metrics that fast food restaurants use is the average amount of time between the customer bellying up to the counter and lurching away with their order. This metric is tracked in fractions of a second, meaning that every second you can save on each order is better performance, in many cases represented by bigger bonuses (for management).

>there would have been a less fresh 6in loaf sitting on the shelf for longer

This is the only possible justification, but it would only apply IF the half roll was nearing the end of its shelf life AND shelf life for halfrolls is different than shelf life for wholerolls AND the employee was thinking about which metric (customer wait time vs wastage) was more important that month.

>always order "beef burger" because saying hamburger like a normal person would send them to hell

kek

At the end of the day it's up to the franchise and by extension it's employees to decide how they want to package their food and structure their coupon deals. This is such a non-issue it's baffling.

A friend of mine there corrected them once and said "You mean a hamburger?" and the guy said "NO, NO HAM"

>this is such a non-issue

Then why the fuck are you arguing it.

Why post a complaint about it in the first place

>Two sandwiches equals more packaging and more cost.
I meant the packaging for a 6" vs a 12", it's not like McDonald's where the small fries and large fries have different packaging and so then you'd have inventory issues and such.

So the worker was basically autistic, he could have just made a single sandwich and it would be literally the same as making the two separately. He just made more work for himself due to (possibly corporate) autism.

I'm not the original guy you were arguing with, just felt like chiming in and pointing put that your analogy is incorrect.

>Similarly, there is no reason to prepare it as one item when the offer is clearly for two smaller items.
Are you literally retarded?

Are you literally retarded?

You didn't even make a point.

are you retards still going on about the fucking sandwiches like anyone gives a fuck?

My point is the point you made is fucking retarded.
No point to making it as one item? It's quicker and easier, and less wasteful. There is absolutely no reason to make it as two separate items, even though the coupon is for two separate items, because the two add up exactly to the one and can be rung up as separate items regardless.

Autist genocide can't come soon enough.

>There is absolutely no reason to make it as two separate items
try reading
>he uses the half-bun from a previous customer's 6inch order and then cuts a second bun of the same bread type in half for my other 6inch
If he had made you a footlong there would have been a less fresh 6in loaf sitting on the shelf for longer, and if I had to guess I'd bet that's against policy.

>blah blah blah
but if he had ordered a footlong that half bun would still be there so who gives a fuck. Not like anyone would know, the bread, again, does not have fucking barcodes on it.
Though when the autistic worker insisted on making 2 six inch sandwiches he obviously could have chosen a different bread that was not previously cut.