Fml

so for my dry mix im doing my random mix of spices and shit

if you know my style then u know i am constantly working on shit, so this time im thowing in a bit of cornstarch in the mix

so bout to get to business here, also probably a mistake i popped one of these Divine Reserves this early in the day

HOUSTONFAGS: i found a baller ass beer/liquor/wine store called Total Wine in the willowbrook area, this damn place is a curse they got mad loot son not even tryin to shill, better than the downtown Specs imo, crazy good beer selection, crazy wine, crazy liqua

You ever bake the cat into a meat pie

i get baked and call her meat pie occasionally

i wish m8 when i comb her she is scared of her own hairs

whoa m8 i get it i got the taxiplasmo i cancelled your reservation last week there isnt a fee ok

>1st dip

>Is that marinade just buttermilk?

without the meme arrows

no it's actually buttermilk, an egg, some louisiana hot sauce and a bit of pickle juice, i meant to clarify that but ive had a few beers and stuff, it is something i took from chef johns nashville hot chicken recipe for reference

>ridiculously ultra rare post-bath patti

As a Vegasbro Total Wine is where it's at lad

so here in fly-overville we getting super cheap 'spergus and the sprouts are looking mighty fine so expect to see a lot of that, these are some leftover shit im using up, the sprouts i just got are like racquet balls

oh didnt know its a nationwide thing, i welcome the competition that is for sure, their local brew selection was pretty decent, but the selection of nation wide and international beers can not be fucked with from what ive seen, id be interested in suggestions of dark foreign beers but this is probably not the proper thread

I don't drink enough craft beers and strange foreign swill to give good recommendations but I do want to ask what recipe ur using for them sprouts my boy

Brussel sprouts...Again?

You ever eat anything other than brussel sprouts?

m8 i am pretty basic bitch desu, I just cracked some salt on em and tossed em in evoo, ill get a little char on em and turn the heat down and toss the aspergers in and maybe add some seasoning salt pepper, maybe something else i kinda just do whatever, its really hard to fuck sprouts up if you salt them right

i just let the tenders sit till they got soggy and re tossed them in the dry, no more wet, im doing science stuff

Good to have you back OP; started to miss you and your cats.

waiting to see where the spam comes into play

M8 NOW THAT YOU BRING IT UP THIS WHOLE THREAD IS GOING TO BE BRUSSEL SPROUT THEMED, im not kidding i have been thinking to myself, gee whiz OP you aint using sprouts to their full potential, SPROUT BURGER IS COMING

thx m8 i missed you as well:)

thats just zombie apocalypse prepper stuff maybe well get to it someday

You're almost as annoying as that sausage faggot who would post in every one of OP's threads.

literally pure cringe

newfag

i honestly welcome sausage debate if it wasnt such obvious b8 desu

pls screencap me and put me in your /rk9/ thread

What do you mean "even if?" You see a lot of cats throwing frisbees back to you?

OP why don't you chill your beer

comfy college bachelor-tier

I really need to take pictures of my shit, done lots of fancy cooking lately and I too shop at HEB.

Sorry m8s got caught up

Enjoy your meal m8

Total wine is the Walmart of stores. They drive all the local businesses out and only some of the employees are compentent. They have also broken distribution laws in my state.

how did you make the greens they look really fucking good

p.s. give patti a treat from me

Looks gr8

Am tired, judge me all you want I regret nothing.

looks amazing-tier as always m8

Well, it is April now. You've earned your monthly.

I'm not judging, just a little jelly at such a Kings feast

Also, I'd like ratings please.
How was the donut mccheeseburger?
How was the for me?

I do usually but i dont really care if its ice cold so i leave it out a while sometimes

thx m80s:)

do it we wont tell anybody lol

the only liquore store theyd compete with here is Specs and specs has them beat for convenience, all our small liquor stores are price gouging and i hope they do get run out of business desu

just tossed the sprouts with some evoo and salt and fried em a bit to get some color, then turned the heat down and sauteed it with the asperigus a while till was about tender, added some pepper, seasoning salt and a little onion powder, its pretty easy side

i may have to have another one in a few weeks with whataburger, im on poor mode this week so i went McDs

lol

donut burger is always good if you got a donut shop near by, hot n spicy was decent but they went full retard with the mayo

Is this the oversized pogs edition of fml?

try adding baking powder and a little powdered sugar + the cornstarch

She is so god damn adorable, Patty for prez and op for kang

Is that a tin of spam hidden in the corner?

As much as I love your pics youve got to downsize them I dont even know what kind of setup youre running that produces 7000x4000 images...

Are you paying for bandwidth or something roody-poo?

tell mommy to upgrade your family plan

don't bother, he's "being retarded on purpose" aka being retarded

ok friends
tonight i am gonna cook my quick bolognese
inb4 some knob head tells me it isnt a traditional bolognese, yes i know that, its not supposed to be

if youve just got into cooking and/or arent very good, this is a nice simple and fairly quick recipe that doesnt require too much attention and is very good to have in your cooking arsenal, and can also be fairly cheap depending on your ingredients

you will need
2 brown onions
4 cloves of garlic
1 carrot
2 400g tinned tomatoes either whole, diced or crushed or 800g cherry tomatoes if they are in season (worth noting cherry tomatoes and whole tinned tomatoes will take longer to cook)
1 750g jar of passata
1kg mince, you can use either beef, pork or veal, or a mixture, up to you
3 sprigs of thyme
2 bay leaves
2 beef, chicken or vegetable stockpots or cubes, i prefer these as you can choose how much water you want, homemade stock is probably prefferable, but i didnt have time to make it
some nice red wine, use as much as you want
some pasta, amount depends on how many you are feeding, i prefer tagliatelle
worcestershire sauce (optional)
milk
some nice parmesan or peccorino for serving
some parsley for serving, i prefer curly for some texture

Sounds good.

ok start by grating up the onions and mincing your garlic
with the garlic you want to either chop it up as finely as you can or put it through a garlic crusher, but then you want to put a teaspoon or so of grain salt on it and crush it with the side of your knife on the chopping board as this will mince it into a paste
we also grate the onion as its much quicker than trying to chop it finely and will ensure so big chunks of it are left in at the end, which can taste bad and ruin the texture
you can also grate the carrot and put it in with the onions and garlic, but i dont have enough mince to utilise the sauce fully, so im going to cook the sauce seperate to the mince and carrots and use the leftover sauce at another time

ok now you want to heat up your pot/pan on a medium heat (you should do this before you do the garlic and onion)
then add some oil to your pan (i prefer grapeseed oil as it has avery neutral flavour and a high smoke point
you want to cook these until they are nice and soft but without much colour

add some dried oregano, stir in and cook out for a minute or two until fragrant
fresh oregano is probably better, but nothing wrong with the dried stuff

when thats done you want to add your tinned tomatoes/quartered cherry tomatoes
its important you add these before your passata especially if you are using cherry tomatoes or whole tinned tomatoes as you will need to cook them for a while and break them down with your wooden spoon in the pan until they become all liquid-y
i was using crushed tomatoes so i didnt really need to wait much until the next step

at this step you want to add in your passata, your stockpots, the bay leaves, thyme sprigs and some hot water if you feel it need some, although this will take longer to simmer out of the sauce
you want to stir it for a couple minutes until the stock pots/cubes are dissolved in and then bring to a simmer, once simmering, turn the heat down a bit and cook out until your happy with the consistency of the sauce (around 20 mins minimum for the flavour of the herbs to infuse)
a good tip to get all the passata out of the jar is to wash all the stuff off the inside with some water and tip it into the sauce

Going well m8

ok now i start cooking the mince
you wanna have the pan heated to a medium-high heat and its important to use a thick bottomed pan to keep the heat in
add some oil and pull the mince apart into chunks and add to pan and start breaking it down with your spoon

Keep it up

keep breaking it down until its somewhere around here, actually maybe even a bit finer, then you need leaving it cooking on high heat, only stirring every couple minutes to evaporate all the moisture out of the mince, if you dont do this you wont be able to brown your mince and it will be colourless and tasteless which isnt very nice
you will know when the moisture is cooked out when its starts sizzling and frying instead of bubbling, the mince should start to stick a bit to the pan if youre not using a non stick pan, which youll want to try and scrape off, although it doesnt matter too much

adding grated carrots in to pan and stirring them in
you can do this step in the other pan before you add the tomatoes like i said before, but it doesnt really matter, you can also do the same with the mince, but if you are using 1kg its probably a better idea to use a seperate pan as you will cook the mince faster

ok now as you can see, mince is nice and browned after about 15 mins of cooking

ok now you want to add your wine, best not to cheap out on your wine, but get something reasonably priced, something that you wouldnt mind drinking
im using a $15 aud merlot, which i find are good for cooking with but you can use whatever you feel like, add as much as you feel like as youre going to be the one eating in the end
what you will want to do however is boil off the alcohol from the wine and keep cooking it until its evaporated by about half its volume, this gets rid of all the alcohol flavour and leaves you with the rich body of the wine that will give the sauce some depth

>carrot

Mince only takes me 5-6 minutes to brown.

also forgot to mention that when you add the wine, it will deglaze the pan and you will want to scrape off any of the mince stuck the bottom of the pan to get some extra flavour

then when once your mince is done you can put it aside in a bowl with some foil over the top, or if the sauce is done like in my pic, you can add the mince to the sauce (or in my case the sauce to the mince as im saving the left over sauce)

now you want simmer the sauce for several minutes with the mince in it to let all the flavours combine, also at this point youll want to fish through your sauce to remove the bay leaves and thyme sprigs, otherwise theyll probably end up in someones dish which you dont want
should start to look like this
you can leave the carrot out if you so wish
takes longer to evaporate the water out of, also depends how hot your pan is

at this point you want to have a big pot of water boiled ready to put your pasta in
once ready to put your pasta in, salt your water sufficiently then add pasta
put the lid back on, bring to a boil quickly, then take the lid off again
when soft stir it around to make sure its all in and doesnt stick to each other, also want to keep stirring it ever several minutes

clean your stovetop lad

i like to add some worcestershire sauce and chili flakes at the end to mine for some smokeyness, sweetness and a bit of heat, but these are entirely optional

pasta done, drain it and run it under a bit of cold water
i usually take it out a minute early as it will keep cooking in the colander while youre waiting to serve it
yeah ik, i cleaned after i finished cooking this, im planning on getting a new one soon anway as this is some old dodgy cheap one that came with the house we bought

some finely chopped parsley to serve, important to have a sharp knife so you dont bruise your herbs

and finally served up with some grated pecorino and chopped parsley

also very important to season your sauce with s&p to taste before serving so it brings out the full flavour of your sauce

You uh, like parsley eh?

yes indeed friend

fuck also forgot
add a touch of milk right at the end before you serve it, sounds really weird, but makes your sauce nice and rich

looks dank tbqh familam, very nice cookalong too, i had some pasta knots i got at aldi but i couldnt really get them to cook right but thats probably a me problem

lol

i tried powdered sugar once in a mock chic fil a recipe but i wasnt super crazy about it, may try it again sometime

:)

yeah i threw that in cuz im poor this week and my grocery trip was not as photogenic is id like, Patti likes a good haul

lol

No but Veeky Forums servers are shit which you probably have experienced yourself.

I guess is right

m8 if you are calling me a retard for posting images on an "image board" maybe you should find a text based forum, THE IMAGES JUST GOT 10 MEGAPIXELS HIGHER

mommy gave me steaks :3

gonna let this slab sit at room temp a while and do a few things around the apt

youtu.be/r7zF8UlRm_g

Hey dude, your food looks ok and I like your cat, but your 3 MB pictures are literally killing Veeky Forums. Hiro doesn't have enough money to pay for the bandwidth. We don't really need freaking 7k x 4k resolution images of your food.

Hey catman i just made some oats. I lost all my spoons so im eating this with my hands. Where did all my forks and spoons go?

...

m8 i stole them im building a robot srry

>big shrimpers

gonna try to do too many sides im sure itll be fine

Love how you're getting dickered in every thread but the amount of alcohol is just raising exponentially. Seek help.

1st attempt at roasting sprouts, im winging it so i dont expect to nail it but i could eat sprouts raw so byaaa!

Decided to make an apple pie. Anyone wanna watch?

fug i want pie

Make one? I always forget how easy they are until I do it again

wew lad ill switch to pepsi tomorrow

pls do m8 ive never made a pie

>makin a quick spicy garlic tarter sauce

youtu.be/A-sS_Ts2Bjc

You do the cooking and I'll bake? I can make croissants but can't cook a chicken to save my life

Go back to /an/, catshitposter. You're a retard and autistic.

I can't ever roll them out perfectly shaped but I shape it up later. Let's see how the roll out goes this time

Yeah, not really a circle, but it'll fit in the pie dish and there's some nice butter marbling through the dough so it's okay.

Trimmed and kinda nice edge. Hoping it doesn't shrink

i cant cook a chicken but i will pretend to:)'

so i de-pooped the shrimps and butterfyed them, and now gonna bread em