When's the last time you had a fortune cookie? What did it say?

Fortune of truth

hory shet

What restaurant

About half a week ago, realized I hadn't had chinese in a few months, still have the fortune on my desk

"Care and attention to the key relationships in your life will pay off."

Long distance gf and I had a couple deep conversations and are planning on meeting up for a few days sometime soon, so fairly accurate.
The food was trash though

Actually my last fortune

What did you do?

I dunno senpai, but my life hasn't come crashing down yet

whoa. where do they serve those?

Close to 10 years ago I oinked out in Vegas at 4AM with a friend at a Panda Express in a casino
the fortune was "You are a connoisseur of food and drink"

meme magic

Society creates the crime, the criminal commits it.

last week i got one that said i would win a prize or award within the month

wow... how wrong they were

Did someone say fortune cookies?

"your best days are behind you"

the last time i had chinese delivered, they didn't put one in there! they are normally on the ball and don't forget things like that.

but i wonder if they didn't throw one in because i ordered from the non-white menu that was written in chinese? i'm pretty sure they know im a whitey because i order from them a lot. i wasn't upset or disappointed, because fortune cookies are gay (but tasty when not stale). but i WAS really perplexed.

also funny story, one time my boss opened her fortune cookie and it was some computer error message that said something like "fortune message not found, press 1 to try again press 2 to abort". everyone was having a shitty time at work and it felt really ominous to read that out of a fortune cookie. we have no idea if it was really a computer error or a deliberate joke.

"Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."

Prolonged prostitution doesn't count user.

Why is it so dark... it must've been fried in filthy oil.

it's rye

>Why is it so dark
Overcooking.

I've done a great deal of experimenting with deep frying. Common sense would suggest that dirty oil would result in dark food. It doesn't. The worst you will see--even with horribly filthy oil--is little specs of burnt food that might be floating around in the oil.

However, overcooking deep fried food will turn it dark. That's especially true for batter which contains a lot of sugar (like a fortune cookie).

never had chocolate fortune cookies before? boy you're in for a treat

You are living on borrowed time, user. Fix your shit before it's too late.

>'Very misfortune.'

it's chocolate, dude

"the rubber bands are headed in the right direction"
Explains my life perfectly so I laminated it. If I remember and this thread is still alive I'll take a picture when I get home

I'll take your word for it. But if you overcook fortune cookies (or anything that's battered) they take on that exact same color.

That kebab meat looks pretty tasty

Jackie Chan

"Hate."

Drumpf btfo

"You will soon meet a lifelong kindred spirit."

"Black people are destroying the nation"

Today

"receive free shipping when you subscribe for delivery"

im not kidding

Related question: why does Chinese takeout taste delicious hot, but even better cold? I have found this is true for dishes from chow mein to water cooked fish.

>the asians at the chinese place are in cahoots with the vietnamese whores at the mani pedi place

My friend got one that said something along the lines of 'you will soon meet your future wife and be very happy together.' She wasn't amused.

Maybe it means a tub of oil, for deep-frying, and a dry rub for barbecue. I'd be ok with that.