We write the first sentence of our novel

>we write the first sentence of our novel

"REEEEEEEEE!!!!!" the cuckold screeched upon learning that his wife had tricked him into raising someone else's kids for the past 16 years.

At a time that swells antefore any old time we can think to, in a place that’s two away from any one fingerbreadth, within and without, was a loud and awful vastness that had no ends; no, nothing could be there for to be there there would need to be a there and there was not, not there.

"Only one novelist remained; two if you counted God."

writing is for fags

...

I want to FUCK the evil dogger

Go away evil dogger.

Sounds like your trying a little to hard. The words don't flow together every well

I like the idea of it

Thanks for contributions that shit up the board

It was a cold winter morning in the 27th year of Michael Kolznic's life when he realized, while dressing for work, that his life had peaked when his high school water polo took second place in the regional championship tournament.

I was born to a land where self-deprecation is considered a virtue higher than any other.

Midnight mass of dismembered members of the Low Lutheran Church; a flock disbanded by the booming bells, a scurried snowfight on the whitened steps of a Church not hundred years old yet forgotten by the once-so-bold; and a priest awakens from his Red Sleep down in the crypt, covered in wine stains and - not his - shit.

so we dont hug on, planes with the uncurrent, died front finitely onto the future

Go away evil dogger.

Go away evil dogger

Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed.

CRASH! Only one pancakes remained; two if you include Doggo.

"I can appreciate your venerable cause and its ultimate goal, but how do you suppose we accomplish it?"
It was at that exact moment that Dinky Pink realized he had no idea what he was doing.

If this is the first sentence of this book, imagine how good the last sentence might be, or you know, just continue reading to find out, sport, champ

Only one pancakes remained; three if you include God.

Go away evil dogger.

Lolita, fire of my life.

keep going. post first paragraph?

I like this.

Not bad.

go away evil dogger

"Tgis is your time to shine, boy. Three years we've been on this journey, county, state, tri state, regional and now the world champion is standing right in front of you. Remember the 1-2, stick to the basics, ignore the crowd and listen to your gut. Now get out there and show them what a champion is made out of!"

My perants when to chuch and i dicered to get drunk on a cuba liber (a mixer of rum ,cola, and lime), and went to go walk my dog but he ran away and i chached him down and brought him back home.

Malachi, light of my life, fire of my loins. My luck, my lack. Ma-La-Chi: The meeting of lips then the tongue that slips between but for the trapping of teeth, taken back and caged against the roof of the mouth. Ma. La. Chi. He was Buck, plain Buck in the morning, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. He was Mulligan in his yellow dressing-gown. He was Bucky at school. He was Buckle in the boat-house. But in my arms he was always Malachi. Did he have a precursor? He did, indeed he did. In point of fact, there might have been no Malachi at all had I not loved, one summer, an initial Irishman. In a princedom by the snotgreen sea. Oh when? About as many years before Malachi was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a fart-fetishist for a fancy prose style.

Go away evil dogger

decent bait
holy..I want more tier
this is actually good
why did you post this? did you think it would be funny?
10/10, I want more
don't really want more tbqhwy familia
holy...
holy... I want
holy... I want more

spotted the virgin

Cool. The Japanese Insurance Man was a joke. You know... Just fucking around.

"The American Dream has turned into a nightmare," I write in slow, delicate cursive on a napkin while some escort blows me.

...

>reads joyce once

bretty gud :DDD

WE (period)

"oh it`s my delight on a shining night in the season of the year!" - the music faded away..

Go away evil dogger.

The crimson pool of blood was expanding on the carpet as Eric lay there, thoughts flying while he tried to figure out what just happened.

>"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" cried Aiden Bolt as his hangglider plummeted towards the nudist colony for futanari.

I'll write the rest if you give me a driving plot point or two.

>"He is bleeding profusely, and as always, it's his own damn fault for opening his mouth."

My joy is to walk in night.

No dogs are evil. All dogs are good, and cannot be anything except good. Come and let me love you, "evil" dogger.

I consumed some cocaine whilst fucking a hooker. Fuck I'm a God, I thought as 80s music played. In a moment of introspection, I looked back on my life of carefree hedonism and wondered if maybe I should have done more cocaine or fucked more hookers.
Deciding I'd had enough for one night, I began forcing my way through the crowd to my really big limousine which I have cause I'm rich. I had the misfortune to be spotted by one of my coworkers on the way out.
"Oooooooo, your gluthes are so thoned!" he intoned breathily, grabbing an ass cheek in each hand.
"Get your AIDS-infested compliments off of me, you fucking faggot!" I screamed, pulling away. I jumped in my really big limousine, where a hooker on cocaine was waiting for me. Donning a pair of shades, I put on some 80s music and considered buying some new clothes. "Shit," I thought, as 80s music played.

This isn't bad, but why not "at night" or "during night"?

Sounds less cool.

---but that's where I poop from! cried the little anime girl as Johnny "Dongman" Xong pistoned his notably-long schlong nut-deep into her inconceivable buttered bong-hole, and the heat from her ass made those nuts popcorn (...as he popped his corn)

---God-fucking-damn do I fuck anime girls good... he ordered his meido to bring him cocaine and snorted a whole fucking brick off her flat chest using another meido as the receptacle

---M-master-oniisama you shouldn't be doing this we're only in the 5th grade! to which he smiled, and broke into a jaunty showtune about anime girls and stimulants.

It was the fall of 1987.

go away evil dogger shoo

[record scratch]

[freeze frame]

Yep, thats me. You're probably wondering how i got myself into this situation. It all started in 1984 when a Gravity's Rainbow came across the sky, and I was awoken by a loud BANG.

go away evil dogger

>
DO NOT FUCK THE EVIL DOGGER

Before the sun was cloud like smoke.

Falling.

Go away evil dogger.

Me oh my he come from the white hot air like the cold not hit him... like the steam humidity not wet him and then emerge and the cold air get on him damp wet shirt

can not make sense of that last bit

The barren land around her exhaled in low, hoarse tones, its weak atmosphere could provide a constant wind but did nothing to obscure the black, starry sky in which even the planetoid’s distant native star looked like nothing more than a particularly bright moon.

He was dangerously calm in a situation that required at least a little urgency.

Go away evil dogger

That second one is an old copypasta. You got meme'd senpai.

Perfection.

Uhhh, sorry to embarass you, but that's the actual first line of a book called "Gravity's Rainbow" by Tombas Pinchman.

Go away evil dogger.

Once again, the misterious shadow of a faceless man slowly appears by the door which Dan keeps on staring while fighting the urge to blink.

dam only been here for two years, excuse my plebness

>The hypersphere is a big fucking place kid

go away evil dogger

Ho Lee Fuk

Nuke this thread. Veeky Forums really has gone down in quality the past few months

Said the frogposter

I honestly needed this thread. Haven't laughed this hard in a while.

In the middle of night when I'm in this dream, it's like a million little stars spelling out your name.

You took my hand and we fell into it, like a daydream, or a fever.

Go away evil dogger!

Swag.

To pee or not to pee, that was the question.

Go away evil dogger.

severely underrated post

Does this thread mean we are officially reddit?

?
that's like the single most common meme on lit

This time the location was a large block of flats.

Go away evil dogger.

The brig bobbed gently in the warm waters of Port Royal, and there was not a cloud in the sky. The sea below matched the sky above in its vivid blue, the sunlight scattered across the waves in bright shards, before vanishing and being replaced almost instantly. The sunlight lapped at the disembarking crew, warming their skin as they hauled cargo off into the Jamaican port. It could be said that it was a beautiful day. Yet Woodes was far too drunk to even notice, swaying on land as if he were at sea.

Fucking cringe, yikes

Go away evil dogger

kek
right?

Pynchon? Is that you?

go away evil dogger

this is awesome

Made me laugh. Good shit.

>The stories of heroes always annoyed me, maybe it was because the bards that sung them saw fit to profit off of others achievements.

Don't repeat "life" and it'll be on point.

I awoke amidst ash of a burned out fire. A solemn mist clung low to the forest floor and my eyes darted wide across a sea of trees and bushes: a howl, unnatural and cruel, pierced the silence. I have no memory of this place.

Kylmänkirpeänä talvi-iltana nuorehko mieshenkilö asteli ryhdikkäästi Aleksanterinkadulle jokin viikko sitten avatun joulukadun koristevalojen kimmellykseen kadonneena, huomaamatta lainkaan kulkevansa väärää kävelykaistaa pitkin vastaantulevaa ihmisvirtaa kohti.

You can drive that through Google translate if you want

Go away evil dogger

awesome

Hey ho.

>Kylmänkirpeänä winter evening youngish man person walked vigorously Aleksanterinkatu a week ago kimmellykseen opened Christmas street decorative lights as lost, noticing at all run along the wrong lane walking toward the oncoming stream of people.


What did he mean by this?