Casual Vacancy

Hey Veeky Forums, have you read this? What do you think about it? I unironically liked it. Don't make this thread about Harry Potter.

what do you expect Veeky Forums to say, honestly?

I'd harry her with my potter

"Hurry," Hermione cried, holding open the portrait of the Fat Lady.

Ron, his cheeks bulging with half-chewed toast, shoved on his shoes and ran over to the portrait.

"Uhh, just a minute," shouted Harry from the male dormitory.

"Really Harry, we're going to be late!" Hermione complained, tapping her foot against the flagstone.

"I wonder what the bloody hell he's up to," said Ron. "I haven't seen him since he snuck in late last night!"

Suddenly a figure appeared on the stone steps leading down from the dormitory, and both Ron and Hermione noticed who it was.

"Ginny!" they both cried. Ginny blushed violently and bit her lips before moving slowly down the stairwell. Behind her Harry appeared in the midst of buckling up his trousers.

"Oh gosh, you two!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Harry, that's my bleeding sister!" Ron angrily bellowed.

"Sorry," Harry attempted. "It's just, well, I've learned this new spell. The one Hermione used to make her quill a little longer. And well-"

"That really is quite enough Harry," Hermione interrupted.

Ron stood aghast, mushy bread falling from his mouth.

It was time for a duel.

>"Harry, that's my bleeding sister!

kek

MOAR!

10/10 more please

>"Harry, that's my bleeding sister!" Ron angrily bellowed.
Good shit. Gave me a good chuckle. More please.

"Come on, draw!" bellowed Ron, holding up his wand with a shaking hand.

"Ron, please, calm down," Harry attempted. "Look, I didn't know it was such a big deal. Plus I thought you already-"

"Expelliarmus?!?!" shouted Ron, his voice breaking.

A flash of white light shot from the end of his wand and flew towards Harry, who leaped to the side just in time to see the spell smash a flowerpot on the windowsill behind.

"Ronald, stop!"

The voice was that of Ginny, whose presence had been all but forgotten, standing as she was several feet away near the fireplace.

"Stay out of it Ginny!" Hermione screamed, drawing looks of surprise from both Harry and Ron.

"Ere, don't speak to my sister like that!" complained Ron.

In tears, Ginny attempted to run past them and out of the common room. Noticing her attempt at escape, Hermione leaped towards Ginny and dragged her down to the ground. In the middle of the common room floor they rolled over, scratching and biting as the two boys, their wands drawn but hanging limp, watched on in confusion.

"How...dare...you...be,...with...Harry!" screeched Hermione. "He....was...supposed...to...be...mine!"

From the hallway leading to the portrait of the Fat Lady, Harry and Ron suddenly heard the voices of the Gryffindor Quidditch team as they returned the tower.

"Crumbs!" yelped Ron, staring at Harry wide-eyed. "We missed training again! Dean's gonna freak!"

"Here, get under the invisibility cloak with me!" Harry demanded.

While the two girls continued to grapple and tear at each other's clothes, Harry and Ron vanished beneath Harry's cloak. Soon enough the room was flooded with a gang of muddy, sweaty quidditch players, their hair and clothes damp from sweat and rain.

Dean Thomas was the new captain of the team, and it was he who interrupted the jovial conversation players to draw attention to Ginny and Hermione's struggles on the common room floor.

"Ladies, ladies!" said Dean humorously. "If you're going to waste your energy, let it at least be something worthwhile for the rest of us!"

He nodded to the gang of boys on each side, and soon enough a ring of Gryffindor boys had formed around the two girls. Ginny and Hermione stopped fighting and stared through the dishevelled hair that now covered their eyes as Dean Thomas drew aside his robe and revealed his

It's genuinely breddy gud

All of her post HP work is terrible

It's workmanlike and hacky. I read it in a sitting while at a relative's house a couple of years ago and it's not atrocious, just quite bad. There are some amusing ideas in it and the occasional semi-entertaining sequence or vignette but it feels like something that would never have been published without her name being attached to it. I haven't read her crime novels but they are reportedly very well-plotted, maybe Rowling's improved since she wrote this. It's vastly outclassed by other English social satire.

> I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going
Proceed

MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dont ever post a picture of my girlfriend on this imageboard ever again

>Casual Vacancy
Describes her fan base desu senpai

>revealed his
Vest made of walrus bristles

>All of her
wtf, what else has she written?

I never thought I'd say it. I went to it for the giggles and shitposting on fan pages, but it was actually entertaining. I liked the ending from the tv series better, but overall a lot better than her playbook, or the third in her Robert Galbraith books. Better than the last two HP novels, worse than first Galbrath, on par with second Galbrath and more mediocre HP novels.

I read it and I liked it.
Really thought I would have gotten some milf fetish satisfaction, but Rowling just gave me blue balls.

Rowling??

>Soon enough the room was flooded with a gang of muddy, sweaty quidditch players, their hair and clothes damp from sweat and rain.

oh fug I know where this is going.

You're killing me man. I really need the next part

...member. Hermione, shy and offended, buried her head in Ginnie's moist lap.

"Come now, Hermione," cried Dean. "I know for a fact it isn't that bad."

Ginny tapped Hermione's back. She slowly looked up at Ginny. Ginny reached over grabbed Dean's member, which throbbed in her hand.

"What do you think?" cried Dean.

Ginny held his swollen member to the side of her head, as if it were a telephone. She nodded her head.

"Hermione... I think it's for you," Ginny cried, winking. Hermione was still very shy and refused to look at Dean's turgid member with her own two eyes.

"Come now, Hermione... it's for you," cried Ginny, winking as she spoke.

Ginny handed Dean's hot member to Hermione in a stretched out hand. Hermione took once glance, then couldn't find it in herself to look away again.

"Well... it is pretty... handsome..." Hermione cried. Her eyes scanned Dean's hard member.

Ginny nodded and placed it in Hermione's hands.

"Well, are you going to disappoint out friend Dean?" Ginny cried.

The Quiddich players in the room murmured quietly.

Hermione held Dean's big throbbing member in her hand.

"Well....."

I can't fucking breathe

"No! Stop!" cried Harry, ripping the invisibility cloak off and stretching his legs.

"This is my journey to take," Harry cried.

The room hummed as everyone, shocked, murmured quietly.

"Harry, I don't think you should!" Hermione cried.

"It doesn't matter," cried Harry, stretching his legs. "I have to."

Harry knelt in front of Dean and gazed at his big hard member.

"What do you think?" cried Dean.

Harry held his swollen member to the side of his head, as if it were a telephone. He nodded his head.

"Well... I think it's for me," cried Harry.

"Nice" Dean cried.

At that moment, Harry pulled his robe off, slid down his pants and underwear, and turned around, bent over, his soft supple anus gleaming through a small beard of hair.

"Come on, Dean! Cast your spell on me!" Harry cried, begging Dean to put his leaky member into Harry's supple anus.

>Hermione cried,
>they both cried
>cried Dean.
>cried Dean.
>Ginny cried,
>cried Ginny,
>Hermione cried.
>Ginny cried.
>cried Harry,
>Harry cried.
>Hermione cried.
>cried Harry,
>cried Dean.
>cried Harry.
>Dean cried.
>Harry cried,

I think J.K. Rowling is actually writing these

The phone motif made me audibly laugh. Quite funny friend.

>"Nice" Dean cried.

> what a twist!
I had the same thought. Either that or someone has coped her style.

Dean look around the room. He saw every pair of eyes staring back at him, waiting. Waiting.

Dean looked down at Hermione. Her eyes met his, she was waiting.

"I don't have any lube, Harry" Dean cried.

Harry cast a spell on his stinky hard member to make it slippery.

"That will do," cried Dean.

Dean grabbed Harry, one hand on each side of his big white butt. Harry's tight anus looked up at him, glimmering.

"Come on Dean, give it to me! Right here! Right now!" Harry cried.

"I guess I'm going to have to give it to you," cried Dean.

Dean slowly pushed his big old member into Harry's little bearded anus.

"Oh god yes!" cried Harry.

Dean could feel every little groove in Harry's anus slide across his huge member.

"Harry this feels so good," cried Dean.

The rest of the Quiddich players bent over and grabbed their knees, trying to get a closer look at Dean's gargantuan member sliding into Harry's tight little bearded anus.

Dean started pushing in and out over and over, his member sliding in and out of Harry's little anus.

"Don't stop, Dean," Harry cried

Honestly Veeky Forums is the funniest board on this website Where else could I get this kind of content?

should i be this turned on

Applying Veeky Forums's sense of humor to literature and philosophy is a surprisingly consistent recipe for laughs.

I agree fully, it also probably has something to do with Veeky Forums's users being a bit smarter on average than the other boards.

Or at least, more prepared to use their smarts.

stretching his legs

...

please continue