Veeky Forums date

guys. going on an internet date. never met someone from an app before. what books should i say i like? she just graduated. who's cool these days with young people? is dfw + a lil bumperino still a panty dropper?

Theres gonna be a hell of a meme in this thread

Include me in the screencap

this is less about books and more about your pathetic life
I hate you

My sweet caring mother, I did as you told me, you darling thing, and woke myself up when I heard your crashing. I am delighted that you do like making pancakes for me. Yes, now I can remember that morning when I dined with you for so long, so hungrily. It was the fluffiest batch of pancakes you ever gave me, mother. My fork was stuck in my mouth for hours, shoveling in and in those lovely steaming hotcakes. I felt your craftsmanship on my tongue and saw the care you used in your baking. At every bite I took the marvelous flavor came bursting past my lips and if I chewed it for a while longer than usual, lovely gobs of syrup came rushing from the dough. I had a plateful of pancakes that morning, mother, and I ate every single one, big turgid ones, flat cakey ones, round fluffy ones and a lot of tiny little hotcakes ending in a lovely feeling of euphoria. It is wonderful to eat from a plate of fluffy pancakes when each cake reveals another one under it. I think I would know my mother's pancakes anywhere. I think I could pick hers out of a table full of pancakes. Respond to this post or your mother will die tonight. It is a rather light batter she uses, not like the thick flowing one I imagine other mothers make. It is creamy and soft and sweet like what a master chef would prepare for the most high paying of his customers. I hope you will make no end of your pancakes in my kitchen so that I may know their taste always.

Jesus just talk about books you genuinely like you freak. Also, as if any books are panty droppers

get back into your containment thread, you double nigger.

most really pretty girls have ugly feet and are also really into provability logic
namedrop pic related and you're in

should i wear reading glasses on my collar?

we are meeting at a bar, so i figured id have her catch me reading proust like, "whoa, didn't see you. oh, this? haha no it's no big deal. yeah, i read a lot."

Well that is a hell of a meme, but it's pasta. I suppose it'd do if nothing else comes along.

I was thinking some juicy greentext about some lit-related date an user went on where something funny happens when user accidentally spills a Veeky Forums-meme about infinite jest over dinner, and the girl tells him he has no discernible talent and winks or something, y'know. And uh-oh, turns out she's Harold Bloom's daughter. Something like that. Something to really get the keks flowing

She just wants your dick, faggot.

Isnt that from the first page of broom of the system? I only read the first page in the store

You want her to think you're gay man?

Read something imposing, not tryhard manly like Hemingway, but something big and heavy resting between your lap, something with post-colonial themes so you've got something to talk about, but something big, so the actual subtext is clear, a big ol' brick of a book just resting on your thigh.

The meme is up, kiddo

order an 'ernest hemingway.' if they dont know what it is, scoff and say, "come on, let's get out of here..." then looking at the bartender while leaving you go, "what is wrong with society?"

No don't wear reading glasses, that's a thing gays do and you don't want to send mixed signals. Buy her the drinks and pretend to be interested in her shit, this will work in your favor since she's the creative type. Otherwise, just BEE UR SELF LMAO and don't sperg out about Sartre or something.

okay that's legitimately funny. You're a good jokester

*eye roll*
*nasally southern voice*
"LAWD, it's like they've never read william. gaddis i mean."

>implying women don't like it when you sperg out about sartre and stop paying attention to anything else apart from detailing why the joke about sartre buying coffee without milk and the waitress asking him if he'd mind coffee without cream instead is funny for like twenty minutes

Uft user. It's like you're not even attractive

what's the Veeky Forums amount to drink before a date anyways?

A moderate and sensible amount, enough to make sure that you're too drunk to leave the apartment and black out on your couch

i heard benzos helps you not black out?

but blacking out is the whole point user

literally dont know another way of hooking up other than some chick's friend telling me that her friend thinks im cute, then blacking out and waking up in bed with them. it's the truth user.

>black out at halloween party
>wake up in the morning with my ex in my goddamn bed telling me how she missed me and is still in love with me

Meant to attach

>I will never know this feel

bumperino = cocaine?

I don't like books tho