How is Veeky Forums doing tonight?

>months of trying to redpill myself with right wing literature
>I'm still an autistic retard who will never be able to say hi to another human being or make any friends
No shit?

Is the initiation of a conversation an inherently exclusionary act?

nice feet

I don't think so

I think I shouldn't have come to Veeky Forums. Every day I start to feel worse and worse about my STEM degree, but I know I will never make cash any other way. It all just feels so empty. All I want is a cute literary gf and to live the life of Umberto Eco, but all I'm ever going to have is a mundane engineering job.

Writing a scene where a MRA argues with a tranny, and I'm cringing like a slug in a salt mine.

But it's a story about ugly people who don't accept themselves or each other, and are condemned to loneliness by normal society, so I guess I don't have to worry too much about anyone mistaking the man's position for my own.

I'm worried because scenes where the characters just make point after point and give a speech and go back and forth make my head spin. Even if I keep the dialogue as brief and clean and clear as possible, it's still a long chain of logic between two points of view I at least respect and understand, and it feels more like I'm writing an essay rather than a story.

they brutally torment each other for a few weeks, then explode with anguished passion for one another (they fuck and it gets weird)

>after months of trying to redpill myself it turns out I'm still autistic
holy fug my dude.
what the hell made you think being redpilled was going to make you likeable in the vaguest way possible.
I almost feel bad for you but holy shit that's just too retarded.
Dont kys though

Go read a book and stop wasting time in this shithole. Your life is going to be exactly as interesting and literary as you make it.

Get your degree and pursue a career that allows you to continue your education into the humanities. I'm actually doing the opposite by pursuing a major in Classics and then working into mathematics and science--particularly biology and neuroscience--but, I think we'll both be fine as long as we can keep a roof over our heads. If anything, take some online courses. Yale offers free online courses (without the correspondence to instructors) that are really helpful for dipping your toes into a subject. Check it out: oyc.yale.edu/

My fear is that I'll not make it past community college to transfer and be stuck waiting tables until I can figure out a plan B, so at least you're already a far step ahead. Engineers are highly valued globally also.

went to a flea market this morning and to get some $1 dollar books. I picked up a thornton wilder's play book and a couple yotsuba manga. The rest of the day spent on naps and finishing Huckleberry Finn.

oh god i'm so lonely

I feel imprisoned.

Im taking a shit on my friend's house
Later, Veeky Forums

spent much of the day reading, now i'm listening to some death metal and jazz, might go out drinking a bit later. hoping to get a return text from this girl.

not too shabby of a day.

Like I do every saturday night. Horribly. Books can never compensate for social interaction.

Pretty shitty. I've been basically having an anxiety attack the entire day. Didn't get out of bed until noon (which is usually a terrible idea). Played video games while listening to podcasts for 4 hours trying to calm down. One of the podcasts was pretty interesting (Dan Carlin's politics one). Listening to that was probably the best part of my day. His guest talked about the possibility of a post-scarcity society in the near future. That would be so cool. People could actually have the freedom to live how they want, instead of just being a wage-slave 9 hours a day. People would develop so much differently without that burden.

I stopped playing video games a couple hours ago and I've been reading As I Lay Dying by Faulkner. Reading in the midst of bad anxiety feels weird. It's a little like being drunk, I find myself skipping over things, or just not having the patience to digest confusing sections.

Maybe I'll watch an episode of Black Mirror later tonight.

>Books can never compensate for social interaction.

Fuck off, casual.

>on my friend's house

What did he mean by this?

Dude.
Theres a Sufi story about a man in a hurry to Damascus and asks an old man at the side of the road how far it is. The old man tells him it is a six day journey. The man says to him, not for me I'm going to run and ill get there in three! And he takes off down the road. The old man watches him go and says quietly to himself, six days THAT way.

By which I mean you tried to push yourself in completely the wrong fucking direction. Go read some Alan Watts, some Antoine Saint Exupery, some George Orwell, some things that will make you feel connected to and appreciative of the rest of humanity and want to be a part of it. Not some right wing bullshit that you hope will toughen you up enough that you can survive the 'struggle' of interacting with people.

You could try to externalize some of that debate into action by having it act out in the world in some way.

I feel bad cause I drank a lot last night. The sort of pleasurable lassitude that is also somewhat bad covers me like a wet blanket.

All my finals are comin up, and I've hardly studied at all. I feel a strange sense of dread.

>Cringe: The Post

Why?

quite the opposite

>tfw because of my inability to pass graduate interviews I have been living with my parents for over a year doing part time retailcuck work while other people are more successful careers
>tfw hated my degree and I don't even have the satisfaction of any intellectual achievements

This is shit

It's ok, maybe you can do something that you like to do.

It's been comfy. I got off of work at 4pm and read until 7, then had pancakes & summer sausage for a lazy dinner. Watched spouse play video games for a bit, and now I'm back to reading in bed.

I've been reading Egil's Saga and non-fiction over sumi-e and Louis Comfort Tiffany.

I live in a poor city with nowhere to go, I'm poor as well and unemployed, my family is really controlling and never leave me alone.

Though it may feel like there is an intolerable weight on your shoulders, there's always a way to make a better life. You could join the army, for example!

And just the fact that you acknowledge that your family is controlling means that you can escape. You still have a refuge in your heart, and you can work with that.

Sorry if I'm grotesquely peppy, it may seem like there's no escape from your situation right now but I assure you, there is.

Thanks for the kind words user. I have no means of getting out of here and they never lent me enough freedom and responsibility in my younger years and were helicoptering all the time so even if I manage to get out of here I have no idea what to do in the real world. I'm screwed.

Pretty good. Reading Moby Dick for the fourth time believe it or not. Sure the encyclopedic parts are a chore but that's the appeal for me b/c here in between there will be scenes of Ahab and Co. I particularly love the scene where they come across a school of whales and their young.

>No, his great genuis is declared in his doing nothing particular to prove it.
That left an impression on me since I first read that.

Is it your favorite book?

"If the mind is fixed on the acquirement of any object, that object will be attained."

Finished As I Lay Dying yesterday, what do you think of it so far?

Not particularly my favorite book per se. Although it does occupy an honourable space in my heart. If that makes sense to anyone.

Studying for calculus final
>feelsstressedman.jpg