Dr. Kombucha?

I'm SCOBY.

Kombitcha tastes like what I imagine the pooled up liquid at the bottom of an alleyway garbage bin tastes like.

Fyi: kumbacha sold in texas has no live organisms. They have to guarantee the ABV before placing on shelves and for that no more fermentation can occur

Thus you are buying a bottle of dead bugs

Blame texas. Not the kombucha producers. Its ridiculous and they re working on a solution

Do you have a source for that? I've done a little searching so far and I can't find anything that dictates it can't have live organisms in it.
I'm not calling you a liar or anything but if this is true I would rather not spend any more money on it

>Blame texas. Not the kombucha producers.

What do you mean, don't blame the kombucha producers? Is Texas forcing them to sell dead bugs? Maybe they should take their product off the shelves until they can figure it out.

Not allowing them to sell drinks with live yeast because it can produce some alcohol

So why are they selling the dead product instead? That's disgusting and not kombucha.

Because it can produce some alcohol and Americans are backwards puritans

I get that there's the law, are you dense?

They have no business putting their shit up for sale if they have to kill it first. It's not kombucha.

That would be like if cheese was banned and a quesadilla vendor sold grilled tortillas in the meantime and still called them quesadillas.

who gives a rat's ass about your fermented shit liquid

You don't get to bring bacterial cultures.

I dont get it

It's a meme.

Went for a job interview at a local kombucha producer. They actually explained everything

Texas is a retarded shit state

My mom makes her own because that shitwater is "healthy" and the fucking pancake on top is a good two inches thick.

I wonder if you could fry it up.

>I wonder if you could fry it up.
It would be extremely disgusting.

For you

>my dad works for Microsoft
Still not proof.....

? most kombucha isn't alchoholic though

It technically is, but only very very very low concentration. That's enough to trigger a retardedly worded law.

>acting like anyone here cares about texas

shiggy my friend. california's booch is bug'd up

>Scooby
come back pls ;_;

I want to kill myself because of this. I've had thoughts of ending it all for a long time, but seeing this image has pushed me over the line. The mere fact that an image like this can exist is proof that there is no God or Jesus. There is only pain, and that pain has manifested itself in the form of this image. The more I look at it, the further into the abyss I see. I can no longer feel love. I can no longer feel hate. I can only feel a profound sorrow and emptiness. This image is a result of the depravity of our generation and paints a hopeless future for us as a species. It shows exactly how low humanity is capable of stooping to, the immeasurable suffering we can inflict. There is nothing to look forward to, nothing to be hopeful for. This image is proof that nothing in this world matters. I wish I could erase this image from existence, take the matter that allows it to exist and transport it to another universe. But that would be too convenient. I can't live with the fact that I exist in the same plane of existence as this image. I hope whoever created this image is eaten by a pack of wolves. I hope their soul rots in Hell for all eternity. They deserve no love, compassion, or forgiveness. Their very existence makes the world a worse place to live in. But no matter what happens to them, it still will not prevent this image from having been created. That simple fact fills me with immeasurable rage and dread, for we have dragged humanity down as low as it can go. We have reached the bottom of the barrel. Now the universe is crying out in pain, and there is nothing we can other than remove ourselves and let the tides of time decompose the matter that makes up this image and hopefully restore the balance that was destroyed when this image was created.

Scooby?

HAHAHAHAHA NOW I'M THE DAMN ICE BOY

this shit is disgusting