Hello i am 18 and this is my first time on the board

no thanks its too expensive and id rather just learn to cook actual food.
maybe i can hire a cooking coach to show me how?

buy some angel hair pasta
buy some spaghetti sauce
buy some ground beef

boil some water
cook the ground beef in a pan until it's all brown. Poke at it a lot and break it into small pieces. drain away the grease (DONT pour it down your sink). Pour the spaghetti sauce over the beef.
add pasta to the boiling water for about 10 minutes

mix it all together and eat it with some bread on the side

I hope English is your second language because you type like a retard for someone who is a legal adult. Also,
>hot pockets too expensive
>hire a cooking coach instead

thank you, where would i drain grease then?

i dont live in a white country there isnt much frozen food other than ice cream and desu i dont even know what a hot pockets is. but my 1st language is english i am actually retarded though :(

into a second pan or a cup or something then later into the trash after it cools off

also, you can chop up an onion and cook it in the same pan as the beef

I use a pickle jar for my grease. Like the other user said, let it cool off and get full and throw the grease into the trash.

How the FUCK do you go 18 years without learning to cook? Were you raised by wolves, or is your family a bunch of inbred trailer park trash?

Not him but i was on the opposite end. Family was well enough off that we had restaurant meals every night. Never had to cook for myself until I left for school.

It's an education thing. If your parents didn't start teaching you to cook from a young age, they are shit parents. They don't need to make you a chef or anything, but being able to put together a simple meal is a basic life skill.

The thing that irritates me most is that a human being can reach 18 without figuring out how to type capital letters

dont talk about my mum like that u asshole

Your mom is a sack of trash

fuck you man. i reported u

Says the guy who doesn't use proper punctuation. It's 2017 grandpa this is how people type.

im op that that post u r talking about isnt even me u idiot.
please stop argueing and learn me how to make food thanks

I have found that youtube is one of the best teaching sources available. Look at Laura Vitale's channel for instance. Or Gordon Ramsay or Jamie Oliver, they have special tutorials for beginners, including knife skills and cooking techniques. Or look up Jacques Pepin, especially his omelette videos. Or the legendary Julia Childs.

youtube.com/watch?v=yGr1s5qSNmI

youtube.com/watch?v=zA2ys8C-lNk

thank you

Just put like vegetables and meat in a pot and stir dude like be yourself haha xD good thread.

Other examples:

youtube.com/watch?v=Sk_CGtA4HIY

youtube.com/watch?v=s10etP1p2bU

youtube.com/watch?v=ntiGX3X-spA

ebin

And if you really want to go in-depth:

youtube.com/user/rouxbe

idk if it's too advanced a concept, but think about what flavor profiles you like before you go shopping because starting out experimenting with too much food can be costly if you don't like it

a good way to start with the basics is making your own chili or pasta sauce. you need to know a lot of kitchen techniques to make those but they're also kind of hard to fuck up because you're essentially just throwing shit you've prepped in a slow cooker and letting the ingredients do the work for you

also, keep your kitchen clean. don't leave dishes in the sink like an asshole

>it's too expensive to buy microwavable food
>so I'll hire a personal chef to teach me how to cook

Brother, I can't fix stupid.

>Eating week old cooked rice

Good 'ol Veeky Forums

im talking about long term, i can just get a chef that can teach me in a few days just the main recipes but 'hot pocket' will never teach me anything and cost more over the years

Or you can just google some basic recipes and watch youyube videos showing you how to do it.

Fug off Randy, it's good

Botulism is a great weight loss aid.

>restaurant meals every night
wow that's pretty damn expensive

any good channels?

Link?

Learn to make a roux

OP, this is a copy about American pancakes that i wrote to one pf my friends in your situation. Hope this helps!

225g Flour
1Egg
3dl milk
A little pinch of baking powder
A spoonful of sugar
A little pinch of vanilla-sugar (you can add more if your first attempt wasn't sweet enough)
A knife-tip amount of cinnamon
A spoonful of oil (i used sunflower oil, so this is what i recommend using)

Mix it all together, prepare a hot pan with some additional oil in it and pour the pancake mix in to it when it's hot enough. Even you can do this much.

Consume it with honey, chocolate syrup and moderation.. you fat fuck. Just kidding... no i don't.

Greetings user. Tell us a bit about your preferences. Are you a carnivore? whats your favorite meat?
What do you like to eat?

Read the stick...
why doesn't Veeky Forums have a sticky?

Because we have google

spaghetti with meat sauce
boil large pot of water
1 pound ground beef and one finely chopped yellow onion, cook in skillet until moisture is mostly gone and the meat is starting to brown. stir regularly. then add up to 12 cloves crushed garlic (get a garlic press), a large can of crushed tomatos, a small can of tomato paste, a tablespon of red wine vinegar, 1 tablespoon of oregano (crush between hands), 1 tablespoon of basil, 2 teaspoons ground black pepper (buy a pepper grinder, the best thing you will ever purchase, NEVER use preground pepper), 1/4 cup of olive oil, and 2 tablespoons of salt, or to tast. simmer until a little bit on the thick side, stirring to not burn the tomato sauce. meanwhile, when water is boiling with big bubbles, put a pound of spaghetti noodles in the water, boil as instructed, but pull a noodle out every few minutes and bite it. the inside should be a little resistant to the tooth, "al dente" in italian. do NOT overcook. drain the noodles, shake thoroughly in a colander to get off all excess water. pour the noodles back in the cookpot, pour the sauce over them, stir, and serve with grated aged asiago cheese (grate your own, dont buy american parmesan, never buy pregrated Kraft), extra olive oil. leftovers are good too.

i like pretty basic food no weird spices and shit.

Cook up some diced onions on low in some butter til soft.

Add in your best hotdog, kielbasa cut into pieces. Cook until a char is on them a bit.

Add a can of your favorite bakes beans. Season to taste. Let is simmer for 15 to twenty minutes.

You have just made frank and beans.

Scrambled eggs are easy to make. Just mix the eggs together with some salt and pepper, grease up the pan and wait until it gets to the consistency you want it to be. I like to mix hot sauce in the eggs before cooking them

If you're going to cook meat, make sure that you make small cuts in it to check if it's cooked through properly. If you're cooking at a high temperature, chances are you're only going to sear the outside of the meat and the middle will still be raw, so it's a good idea just to check it.

Why shouldn't you drain the fat down the sink? That's what I always do

A slow cooker is your friend. Chili, soups, stews, etc. Lots of online recipes, easy to do, let it run overnight. Freeze leftovers.

Here's one if my faves.
Coat bottom of crock pot with olive oil.
Fill with chicken thighs (super cheap).
A few pinches of salt and pepper.
Add 4 chopped cloves of garlic.
Add juice of 1 orange (a real orange, also cheap).
Add juice of 1 lime.
Add 2 Tbs of oregano.
Set on low for 6 hours.
Wait 6+ hours (most cookers switch to warm after the timer)
Shred chicken in liquid with two forks.

Put in tortillas for tacos, on baked potatoea with cheese, on tater tots or nachos, add to soups, add bbq sauce and make sammiches, put on rice or beans. I portion it out and freeze for later use.

But...but the instructions are there. If needs be, google "roasting chicken time per kg" and "roasting [vegetable names here]" and you'll get the instructions for those.

Simple (dry) pasta, into boiling water with salt.
Cheap and simple.
When you get tired of it, change with Rice and the likes.
If you want it to be real cheap, say goodbye to meat for a while.

Was being retarded part of your plan?

thank you

It can clog the plumming

Had a friend like this, and it still surprises me when people live to the age of 18 w/o knowing how to cook basic food. Buy some boxed food and read the instructions on the back.

idk pancakes are easy:
flour+
eggs+
milk
done

>heat up olive oil in fry pan
>crush some garlic in and let it sizzle
>slice up some mushrooms and chick em in
>once they're browned add cream over the top
>serve on pasta of your choice

>heat up olive oil in pan
>dice an onion and add it to pan
>crush garlic into pan
>wait for onions to go glassy
>tip a can of crushed/diced tomatoes over the top
>cook for a few minutes
>add cream
>serve on pasta of your choice

I line a bowl or cup with tin foil (make a little well) and pour any leftover grease in there. It becomes solid once it cools making it easy to roll up and toss in the trash. Makes cleanup really easy and fast. And wipe your pan with a paper towel when you're done, too. The less grease you put down your drain the better it is for your pipes.

Not the user you replied to, but I rectify that by running steaming hot water down the drain with the garbage disposal on when I dump still-liquid grease down, and Ill leave the water running for a minute or two after.

Invest in a crock pot OP. You can make a lot of easy recipies with littke work. I work long hours several days at a time, so i have to prep bulk meals in advance, and pot roast is a good one.
>find a beef roast - even a chuck roast will be good, and its cheap.
>Trim excess fat
>Season liberally with generic seasoning (I use a combo of Tonys seasoning and Lawrys seasoning), onion powder and garlic powder, worchestershire sauce, and red wine vinegar (or just some dry red wine. I use both)
>Rub all that in until the roast is coated. Dont be afraid because the inside lf the roast isnt going to be seasoned
>put some oil into a (((nice and hot))) pan
>sear all sides of the roast
>dice some onions and toss into the pan.
>Add a little water
>this should be the start of a gravy made with roast drippings
>toss everything, onions and juicez included, into a crock pot
>at this point feel free to add extra stuff: mushrooms, potatoes, chunks of onion, carrots, whatever sounds good. A sprig of tyme or rosemary always helps, as well as minced garlic
>add a few inches of water/dark beer/red wine into bottom of the crock pot with your beef and junk
>cook this for 6 - 8 hours
>slice, or shred, and enjoy

What, no seasonings?

Gordon Ramsay

Jamaica?

i already said i dont want boxed food because its too expensive here and i would rather learn to cook now then be unhealthy

Come on his English isn't /that/ bad.

I learned to cook by following YouTube tutorials and recipe videos! I also had to teach myself as my parents never taught me. I'd recommend channels such as "cooking with dog" "tasty and easy food recipes" "foodwishes"

A great way to start is making things like pasta, that only require one pot. One pot meals are a super easy way to start cooking since it's less washing up and confusion! If you're going to start cooking with meat, i'd suggest trying chicken first as it's really easy to cook and doesn't take long at all in a pan.

A few easy things to make if you're really struggling are...
a baked potato (it can even be done in the microwave)
Pasta (simply boil, drain and add a sauce)
scrambled egg (can also be done in a microwave but tastes best in a pan)
pan fried chicken (just cut it up, season and slap into a hot oiled pan! Not too much oil though. Its really easy to cook chicken this way.)
Also, anything with rice is a good idea as you can boil and drain it and then top with whatever you want, such as chicken or a fried egg.

These are just a few tips I picked up when i started cooking for the very first time. They aren't gourmet but it's a good way to start I think! YouTube is a great resource.

>Add some chocolate sprinkles

This is my go-to recipe for beginners:

grouprecipes.com/73215/arroz-de-tomate-e-feijao---rice-with-tomato-and-beans.html

very easy, very affordable, very nutritious and, last but not least, also very good

nope i am in zimbabwe

dont worry though its not all poverty

Not bad, but 395 cal per meal is pretty low. I know you can scale it but damn.