/UHD/ Ultra Health Diet

Sup Veeky Forums. I recently got diagnosed with a pretty serious chronic illness. I’ve heard reports from other people who have recovered from it in part by eating like this:

>vegan
>no gluten
>no dairy

I have to adopt this diet and I have no idea how to cook (I was a Chad before this but now and mostly bedridden and/or housebound). Can any of you guys suggest recipes for me? What would you eat if you were in this situation? Bonus points if they involve a pressure cooker (my dad just sent me one and he loves it because they are “set and forget”).

Thanks in advance my niggors. You are helping me out bigtime by teaching my to cook within these new restrictions.

Fuck off.

Why would you even take the time to reply with that , you hostile faggot?

I hope you die.

...

Stop reading dumb shit on the internet.

bump
Can I actually get some serious replies?

What the fuck man if you can't eat any of those things maybe you need to die.

>I literally can't eat
>2k17
>natural selection

Thanks for the bump

God will not forget your callousness unless you turn to Christ

>implying I don't want to go to Hell

>implying

best advice is to kill this thread and repost it without all the 'pls help me' shit.

Make a thread about 'vegan dishes' or something.

otherwise Veeky Forums doesn't care. this isn't your board you dumb normie.

Why can't you have salmon at least?

People who get sick do tons of shit, who's to say the diet is what worked.

Anyway, send a postcard from hell faggot, you must have been one shitty Chad if you don't have some desperate bitches who want to cook for you

...

I'll give you my daily routine. It's very inexpensive, and nutritionally complete whilst being delicious.

First Meal:
2 cups (dry) of rolled oats, just add boiling water
1 ripe banana/apple/cup of blueberries etc. for flavor
1-2 tbsp. cinnamon

Second Meal:
1 cup (dry) brown rice
1 cup (dry) pinto or black beans (use that pressure cooker)
1.5 lbs of steamed broccoli
8 oz. of sweet potato
1-2 Tbsp. hemp seeds
Pinch of salt (keep sodium between 750-1750 mg)

Drink somewhere between .5-1 liter of water 20 minutes or so before meals.
Vegan or not I recommend you take a good quality B12 supplement. Search "Garden of Life mykind Organic B12" on Amazon, take 2-3 times per week spaced out as well as you can.
get plenty of sunshine, especially on your face and tops of your hands for 10-30 minutes depending on how dark or light your skin is.

What illness? Assuming this isn't a bait post.

Yeah baby

Good clean living is great

Chew your food well

Try an absolute strict vegetarian diet eating fish every other month
Fuck vegan shit its overrated and overpriced
Fixing your own food is best medicine
Exercise is also important
Avoid all meat/animal products aside from the fish 6 times a year
The human organx take 8 years to crap out do it takes 8 years to repair
Blood will improve within 12 days
Blood clears within 120 days
120 days is only when things begin to unwind the tattered twisted wreck inflicted by western diets as in the first step to health

You got crohns, user?

thanks m8 I may actually do this. You are right. No one gives a fuck about my problems and I accept this.

I can eat a minimal amount of salmon, but since I already know how to make it I didn't include it in the OP.

I had to leave my harem to relocate for recovery. The reality is, as a Chad, once you lose your alphaness bitches (and even your own family) will desert you so fast it will make your head spin. There is significant turnover in the ranks of Chad.

thanks man. Myalgic encephalomyelitis.

no bro, see above.

I didn't know they had Starbucks and McDonald's in ancient China.

thanks for your reply dude. I thought the clean eating thing was a meme, but I have seen so many people claim to have recovered from serious diseases without using ((((modern medicine)))) that I decided to give it a try.

nice broscience

lol