You're at a bar. The bartender sets this drink down in front of you and says: "It's on the house."

It's clearly a raspberry mojito.

"Oh, ok, thanks"

bitchin, but ur barking up the wrong tree there buddy

First I would have to make sure all the ingredients are 100% organic.

And vegan, did I tell Veeky Forums i was a vegan?

I'd look around for the gay man hitting on me with this monstrosity.

...

Id probably make a move to maybe get some napkins or something but "accidentally" knock the entire glass over and then ask for a Bahama mama instead

There's a sneaky snek hiding in there, Frankie Muniz must be trying to kill me again.

>sweet! Thanks
Bartender says enjoy your drink.
>Y-you too

"I can see that you over-diluted the spirit. Thanks anyway"

Has a crime been committed if someone puts a roofie in my drink but I just wake up with all of my orifices untouched and all of my posessions still in my pockets?

No, it's on the table.

They probably stole your kidney by shoving a vacuum cleaner hose up your asshole. I'd get myself checked out if I were you.

Yes, Tampering with anyone's food or beverages is a crime.

>I rock the house! Haha just kidding but seriously who carries fresh mint.

>and what's the house on, a burial ground for fuckin' faggots?

Yes. It's legally considered poisoning someone.

Thank you

That looks delicious, I'd tip extra well and ask for another

*tips fedora and winks*

*raise glass* "Well then here's to the house!"

I thank him and drink it.

are mojitos gay?

Only if it has mint.

>8862904
Not if we keep it between us.

Fuck you.

That actually happened to me once. The bartender for the night turned out to be my cousin and he offered me a drink.

Well I expect that.
The drinks here are always free.

Okay, but don't tell.

Throw it in his face and remind him I asked for a drink, not a fruit salad

Slap the glass over.
>it sure is.
>bring me a real drink faggot.

11yro commentary

Start having Hotline miami flashbacks and kill every russian in the bar.

"it's like San Francisco all over again"

>Someone wants muh cack.

>rasberry mojito
>monstrosity
Never been to a tropical area, huh?

I don't waste time in flyoverville.

???
fight me bitch mint is delicious

>I like fruit
>I like booze
>I fuckin love ginger
>It's free
>I'm not autistic and I'm secure in my masculinity

"Fuckin sweet, thanks man." And give a good tip.

this

Underrated post.

i cast magic missile

+1

...

shoot the place up. take free condoms

>"Awwww thank you!"
Then I drink it and probably get something to eat as well.

>thanks!
>glug glug glug!
>wake up next day next to dumpster
>why does my booty hole hurt so much

Sup /tg

>why does my booty hole hurt so much

Someone hasn't been doing their stretching.

and you clearly suck dick

>Free
>Booze
>Red/pink and leafy is appealing
"Thanks!"

free booze is free booze
thanks barman

5 dollars is dick

He surrepticiously adds Visine to your 'real' drink.

Please tell me it's a cute girl who does this.

Nope, it's a bara bartender named Jack and he thinks you're looking really good right now. Maybe he mistook you for a soft twink.

"I only drink space beer."

only correct answer

Ask him if he's a top.

This.

I mumble a thank you while looking directly away from the bartender
If they ask me what I said I mumble quieter
If they ask me again I curl up on the seat and start crying until I get taken outside by the bouncer
I then shuffle into an alleyway and sit amonght the rest of the garbage crying until I get too cold and go home smelling like shit

>mistook
Nothing was mistaken here

Thank you!

Seriously, it's free booze. Don't be a cock suck.

you reply: "thank you" good manners cost nothing...

thanks uleh

No one said there was booze in it.

Preach brother!!

Dumbass. That's a fuckin myth

mojitos are disgusting but the raspberry may convert me

Thanks, could I have a Guinness too?
*Pass fruity drink off to a pretty lady

I'd wink at him and tell him to meet me behind the dumpster after his shift

Drink it, because I'm not too insecure about my masculinity to enjoy a fruity drink. Anyone that's a part of the "real men only drink hard liquors straight" crowd is just desperately worried that others will think less of them for enjoying things that society decides aren't manly.

ITS NOT FUCKING RASPBERRY

ITS BLACKBERRY.

Goddamn

Nope
medlineplus.gov/ency/article/002590.htm

hahAA i'm not gay haHAa here u go pretty lady because i'm not gay HAhaa

"it better be, because I didn't order it"

and then I'd drink it

decline it
dont know whats been done to it

>tropical area
>flyover
what?

I trust my bartender; or did until I moved.

So, "Thanks man. What's on next?"

>contains alcohol
>free
>tastes good

"Thanks" and then drink it.

lamo.

Probably not the right thread but I've got a gallon of Bacardi in my freezer that I need to do something with, what's the best way to mix and drink without hating it? We mixed some with just coke and it was plain bad.

Drink it straight.

Bacardi plain brown rum is a great buzz, though the taste is lacking you should drink it straight. People that can keep alcohol around and not drink it baffle me. Unless it's spiced rum, which takes several years to drink per bottle because it's so fucking bad.

This almost happened to me. A bartender at my local dive was openly gay (dont care) and got convicted of many counts of rape for drugging dudes via a special bottle of strega he kept behind the bar. Dude kept giving me free shots because I was a regular then offered to smoke up in his car in the parking lot. I got fucking wrecked (I could feel myself getting too far gone) thanked him for his generosity and went on my way. I slept till like 5pm the next day. Way longer than my typical bender.

A week or two later the dude was arrested, now serving 20 years for rape of dudes using that special bottle.

Jokes on him, he didnt realize I was al/ck/ and could handle my shit. Thanks for the free drugs dude.

I wish someone would try me. There's no amount of any drug that can bring me anywhere near a knockout and I love free drugs. Even fucking scopolamine does nothing but make me smoke invisible cigarettes and stare at my computer.

Drink this straight? And it's not brown at all

It doesn't give people the shits like most people believe. You put enough in there it can potentially kill someone. People are so fuckin stupid. You included. You don't fuckin poison people asshole

Cuba Libre

Thanks bae, what's your grindr?