What is the worst thing your friends/roommates/family has done in the kitchen?

Who the fuck cares, i would have had them knickers in my mouth fist pumping at light speed.

I pray I never become as beta as you.

Washed my cast iron pan my dad gave me with soap and water and left it outside to dry because we were tight on counter space. She had her heart in the right place but has always been a space cadet in the kitchen.

nothing compared to me Tbh

There is nothing wrong with anything she did bro.

The only way she could have done better is if she threw that shit in the trash directly.

Nice bait

...

I was as serious as cancer. Fuck that shit.

>cuts meat on wooden cutting board
>leaves rag used for wiping counters on wooden cutting board

My roommate made a pot of spaghetti bolognese and left it on the counter to become rancid and refused to clean it up for a week.

I eventually picked up the pot and threw it in the garbage. Then he said "Where's my pot" and then I said I threw it out and he got mad and said "What the fuck?" and I asked if he was going to clean it up today and he said no and went back to his room.

Moved out after that.

For...what purpose?

To make his coffee boil faster.

>Halfway through culinary school
>Roomies ask if I can "show off" the fruits of my education for Sunday dinner
>Decide to do it since my roommates have never asked me to cook for them in the three years I've been with them
>Spend $70 of my own money to make a three course dinner from scratch
>Sunday night comes
>"Hey user we went out and got some Jack, get out of the kitchen already so we can kick back some beers and burgers!"

...

and then what happened?

I also got a better job so I could afford to live alone

That's just sad...what were you preparing for him?

There were four of us in that house, the menu was gonna be rock cod risotto, lamb cordon bleu made with etorki and served alongside steamed potatoes, and raspberry brownies (one being a weed brownie because one of the roomies was a degenerate and I decided to humor him for once). I made it on Monday instead but I was fucking pissed that they just forgot they asked me to cook for them.

Fucking assholes. I would have eaten it and then had sex with you.

...

nah seems more like a failure to communicate, and being a beta Veeky Forums bitch he probably just assumed shrugging was enough of a yes for his roomies to save the date

That sounds absolutely wonderful user, I'm sorry they missed out

>>my mother uses a fork in the teflon pan
She's got nothing on my brother. He cleaned a teflon pan with steel wool. It didn't just scratch the teflon coating, it ripped half of it off.

What's even worse is that he had worked for nearly 4 years as a cook.

My roommate does this too. Nasty ass vinegar hotdogs. I want to strangle him.

Soap and water isn't going to do anything to the seasoning, unless it's seriously heavy duty soap. Pretty stupid for not thinking of the rusting though.

>delicious HPV

I do this all the time
seems like it's not a problem if you wash it right after..

My roommate's fatass sister loves to leave Styrofoam take out containers in the oven and forget about them. Then turn the oven on with it still in there.

My mistake, you're actually supposed to salt the vinegar first.

My gf didn't know how to boil God damn water even we first met. She literally set my kitchen on fire trying to make dinner

Wtf. Why do they even put them in the oven in the first place?

I woke up one morning with one of my pot on the gaz
This retard went out to party one night, came back absolutetly trashed and decided to cook pasta. Apparently he fell asleep while boiling the water and it stayed on the stove for hours.

Because as far as I can tell, she thinks anything that's in the fridge is fair game since that's what she does to food in the fridge. My brother and I just ended up getting a mini fridge to stop her eating our leftovers.

Ok she steals your food but why does the Styrofoam container go in the oven? What reason would anyone have for putting disposable plastic into an oven? Does she use it as a trash bin? Does she heat the food in the Styrofoam container?

Because she believes if she puts it in the fridge, it'll get eaten.

Jesus that is annoying. Also gratz on getting dubs twice in a row.

Roommate once tried to make chicken parmesan.

>spoonful of flour on chicken breasts
>1/4 bottle of ragu on each breast

And bake.

Putting my knifes into the dishwasher...

Old roommate used to boil chicken in a pot and then try to wash it off in the dishwasher. It never came out clean and always had little chicken bits stuck all over the inside.

my mom thought it would be a good idea to pan fry ravioli

still to this day the worst thing i've ever eaten.

>pan fry ravioli
She must be a complete hick if her first thought was to fry her food.

Relative only feeds child home cooked meals or uses foods without dyes. Everything tastes horrible. Also whenever a recipe says you can substitute an ingredient for something else, it's usually taken as a serious suggestion and makes whatever crap is being made taste even worse.

Even being in the kitchen. I hate other people being in my kitchen.

Lol wait the chicken was put in the dishwasher or the pot?

The pot. Little bits of chicken fat would stick to the pot and just not come off. He'd burn eggs in a pan and try to wash that in the dishwasher too, which also failed to clean properly. I don't know why washing things by hand is so fucking hard for some people.

...

>knickers
Please spell the word Knickers
>Can you use it in sentence ?

Roommate had never used a microwave oven, thought it was the same as a gas stove. She microwaved a chicken for two hours - ended up with a blackened ball, the bones turned to jelly, and it set the bin on fire when she tried to throw it away.

I had this hippy roommate who wanted to compost. Great, I've done it for ages. Her idea was to put leftovers in a mason jar until it became rancid and then pour it into a small hole in the ground.

Her 'cooking' was also absolutely horrific I think I have PTSD

>she got a masters in environmental something or other

>I woke up one morning with one of my pot on the gaz
>pot on the gaz
>this gaz?

My grandma has started losing her fucking mind and was slowly getting worse with her cooking to the point where I just started cooking for my and I.

On at least two occasions she put vegetable oil in chocolate pudding it basically had the consistency of Jello. When she would make meatloaf it consisted of nothing but ground beef with ketchup on top without any kind of seasoning or other ingredients.

>I just started cooking for my and I
Meant to say for my dad and I.

4 years ago, I bought a whole new kitchen set of non stick pots and pans. It was all Teflon, so I got a whole set of wooden cooking utensils to go with it.
Thanksgiving just a month later, the women chase me out of my kitchen - saying they know all about cooking and everything would be just fine.
But they ignored everything I said and found the metal cooking utensils in a drawer. Sure enough, $400 worth of Teflon coating destroyed in under an hour. They even managed to overheat a pan so the Teflon was burned right off the whole bottom of it.
MFW, the whole Thanksgiving dinner was contaminated with Teflon.

I'm so sorry user.

>Eating fish

Fucking homosexual.

>i was beta and something bad happened because i left objectively inferior people dominate me

man, that never happens in life. It's almost like telling people to fuck off from your possessions might be a good idea.

They are all permanently b& from my kitchen, and they all know why.

She set the fucking bin on fire?

Female roommate can't really cook. I was making something in the kitchen. She was grating cucumber for a cucumber salad. I'm cutting something, look over to her, she's grinding cheese into the salad.

>Dad had a cooking idea he got online.
>Today we shall make chili pepper jam.
>Wake to the house being mace and the parrot screaming.
>Eyes are watering and stumble into the kitchen coughing.
>All the doors and windows are open, it is doing nothing as this hellish liquid churns.
>He used Thai peppers in it.
>Find him in the backyard prepping himself to come back in the house.
>"Heh, that stuff is kind of stings eh?"

>metal utensils on teflon
>leave takeout containers everywhere then complain about trash everywhere
>dishwasher has become the new cupboard
>cooking is the equivalent of Jack's garbage stew on a smaller scale and with half the spice rack
>"the flavor of steak comes from the spices"

>"Heh, that stuff kind of stings eh?"
That's hilarious user, I hope the parrot's okay at least.

Google it tard. Lurn to green text too.

>grinding cheese into the salad.

Whats wrong with this?

i boil it in my electric glass kettle to get the mineral deposits off.

>green text
Lurk moar, newfag.

I know that some people are fatties and just can't stop putting cheese in a salad....but....a normal salad is one thing...cheese in a *cucumber* salad? WTF?

>Lurn to green text

I think you meant meme text. Fucking SUMMER CAMP KIDS.

Sorry. If that's the worst thing you've seen someone do in a kitchen then basically what you are saying is that the worst thing you have seen someone do in a kitchen is make a proper fucking salad.

Go sit in the corner till I say you can come out.

A few years ago I lived with a guy. His parents moved into a new house and he basically inherited the "old" house. Two floors, five bedrooms. Lots of roommates, people moving in and moving out.

They're all lazy about doing dishes, and running OUT of dishes is an impetus for the dishes getting done. He told me a year before they had accumulated so many random dishes from people moving in and out that one time the dirty dishes piled up out of the sink to the CEILING. Low-hanging ceiling above the sink, but still at least four fucking feet worth of dishes. They decided to sort and purge most of their extra kitchen stuff after that.

Now, one from me, same place:
I had a can of coconut milk. I used a little for something, then I put the can back in the fridge. When I came back to it a few days later it had obviously congealed, so I put it in a pot with some water around it and left it to simmer.
I totally forgot about it, and later another roommate was pissed that I'd baked a layer of nasty burnt blackened coconut milk all over the bottom of her pot.
I immediately told her I'd buy her a new one, but I went to clean it off and the burnt layer just came right off and the pot cleaned up perfectly.

>and the parrot screaming

I don't know why but this part got me laughing like maniac.

>cooking is the equivalent of Jack's garbage stew on a smaller scale and with half the spice rack
would you share some details

>grinded cucumber
>grinded gouda
>vinegar
>sugar

Let that sink in user. Let that sink in.

I do hope you told them to replace them for you.

went out of town for a few days for work. come back to a pile of dishes and pizza boxes on the countertops. asks me if i want to go out for dinner because he doesnt feel like cleaning. cannot wait to live on my own.

>roommate's friend crashing on the couch
>decides to heat up leftovers on the stove in the middle of the night
>she did not understand how the stove worked
>managed to leave the gas on low with the burner off
>woke up to strong smell of gas
>had to shut off the gas/air out the house
>fortunately it was summer and there were several windows open

I have four really shitty roommates who constantly fuck up the kitchen. Luckily almost none of the kitchen stuff is mine, I've kept all mine in boxes in storage, but it still pisses me off.
>roommate 1 routinely uses a fork and knife to cut up food while it's in a nonstick pan, scratching the coating
I tried to explain to her once that it was really bad to do that, that it irreversibly messes up the pan and that eating bits of nonstick coating are bad for you, and she started leaving passive aggressive notes in the kitchen insulting my cooking.
>roommates 1 and 2 reuse the same dirty cookie sheet, which was mine and was brand new just a few months ago, baking the grease onto it over and over again. it looks like shit now, I've owned baking sheets for years that never ended up looking like this one.
>roommate 4 NEVER does dishes, despite the fact that he's the only one besides me that does actual cooking (as in, not just reheating frozen food)
>any time roommates 1, 2, or 3 do dishes, almost all of the dishes are still dirty because they've been washed in cold water, all tupperwares are greasy, food still caked on to most dishes and pans, and they stack things together so nothing dries
I no longer wash dishes after I use them because I always have to wash them before I use them, and I'm tired of cleaning up after them.
>roommate 3 will eat EVERYTHING you leave in the fridge or cupboard, even if you leave notes on it to not eat it, even half-eaten food. I now keep all my good food in a mini fridge and in my room, only keeping vegetables and things that require a lot of cooking in the main fridge, because he doesn't cook
>all roommates stack up trash on top of an already overfull trash can, then complain to me that people are stacking trash on top of the full trash can and ask me to take it out
In the time it took you to complain, you could have taken it out yourself...

I'm moving out in a month from now, already paid on a new apartment.

Get yourself a big bag of sugar free gummi bears or worms.
Put them in a plastic container with a note not to eat them. and put that in the fridge.

Wait for roommate #3 to swipe them.
>better than ex lax.

>>better than ex lax.

This isn't kitchen related, but one of my biggest pet peeves about roommate #3 is that he has his own bathroom downstairs, that no one else uses, yet he will come upstairs to use my bathroom and I'm not kidding you, he gets shit EVERYWHERE. Shit on the back of the toilet seat, all in the hinges, shit on the floor. Literally poop on the floor. I don't want to give him laxatives because I have to clean it up.

He's gay so his anus is just loose and I guess he can't help but shit everywhere, I just wish he would either clean up after himself or use his own fucking bathroom.

Last night he came and knocked on my door to let me know he bought toilet paper that "isn't made of mummy wrappings." I didn't even buy the cheap toilet paper. He's so full of himself. He owns the house. Roommates 1 & 2 are moving out together next month and me and roommate #5 who is actually really cool are moving out as well and we're leaving roommies 3 and 4 alone here to shit on each other in peace.

Listen to this user. Also make things intolerably spicy.

>shitting everywhere

God that reminds me I went to some faggot play in the faggot region of NYC and went to the bathroom. Big fucking mistake. The sounds. The stench. The faggot moaning and whining. The plops of gobs of semen hitting the so called water. The bits of shit, toilet paper and used condoms covering the floor and walls. The horrors that used to be sinks. The gaps between the stalls so they can eye each other. The most terrifying scrawlings of people asking to be pozzed and for daddies and drugs.

The play was hilarious though.

parrot got cucked

>not getting an hpv vac
ISHYGDDT

I would eat that burger.

And you let your grandma keep cooking for herself. thats fucked up.

You say this like its a bad thing.

boiling vinegar gets rid of smells in the house

>be making fries in the oven
>oven set to 450
>take fries out 30 minutes later
>limp and soggy
>check oven temp
>"Hey user, did you know you set the oven to almost 500 degrees? I turned it down for you"

did you see a picture of her somehow or something?
fuck man u guys are nasty

YOU MOTHERFUCKER