Please somebody make COFFEE thread

I just made perfect cup of coffee and like to post about it, to brag and to ask questions.
Please

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I agree someone make a coffee thread I have something I wanna say about Coffee

OP here,
yes faggots do it make it,now

OP here,
please rate my cup of coffee I just brewed.

I just mix instant into hot milk lmao

wow
you must be barista

can we all agree that french coffee isnt coffee?its boiled water with milk,pretty much.also its light as shit.

Agreed!

French know shit about making coffee.
(but they are experts on eating frogs)

looks like poowater

Can someone explain to me why you liberals always try to make a hobby out of nothing? It's the same with craft beer, tobacco, and now coffee. It all tastes like complete SHIT and you faggots spend all of eternity arguing various nuances that don't mean a single thing because at the end of the day it still tastes like SHIT and you're a delusional moron that has somehow convinced themselves that they enjoy consuming this estrogen-laden mind control CANCEROUS SHIT

>because at the end of the day it still tastes like SHIT
user, if you consume food with your asshole then I agree all tastes like shit.
try using your mouth, you might be surprised how good things can taste

...

Is it really necessary to "bloom" the coffee when you paper drip? I always wait for a minute before start pouring not sure what I'm doing.

I finally gave in and bought some true 100% Jamaican Blue Mountain beans. Not cheap, but oh god, the smell is heavenly. I haven't made any yet, because I'm waiting to use up the last of the beans I already had.

don't be silly user. don't wait to finish the other beans. if you already open the JBMountain package start using now so they don't get stale on you
and tell us how it tastes, it's worth the extra cost

I want to start making my own cawfee. What's a good way to start that I probably won't fuck up?

I'm right wing af and love coffee and craft beer. Get some taste you pleb, or you'll never settle down in a nice suburb with your wife and kids.

That picture isn't bloom, and those are stale grounds

When I'm on like a 3 day old bag of coffee I'll bloom for 30-40 seconds, otherwise it's not terribly critical. The carbon dioxide burns off pretty sharply in the first week

If you're getting that picture, you don't need to wait at all

Honestly, in my opinion, it's the beans and the grind you should focus on first, rather than just the method. I have several coffee makers (drip, moka pot, french press), but unless you buy whole beans of good quality and grind them yourself, you'll still have a mediocre cup.
Experiment with different beans, you'll be amazed at the differences. And don't just buy blends, buy single origin beans as well so you can really taste and smell the differences. And buy a burr grinder, not a cheap blade grinder. You don't have to spend a shit load on one to get a good one. I bought a Cuisinart burr grinder years ago, and it's still running like champ.

>What's a good way to start that I probably won't fuck up?
OK, I will guide you user.
Start with baby steps and begin with mastering brewing instant coffee.
buy if you can 100%Arabica coffee, (and freeze dry made instant coffee is better choice)
most instant coffee is made from Robusta beans, better quality is made from Arabica beans.
do some googling on how instant coffee is made, very interesting process.

great looking cup of coffee user
good job as always

>perfect cup of coffee
I hope you used activated beans

>activated beans
what's that, activated beans?

>he doesn't activate his beans

Oh, don't worry, I'll be using up the last of my older beans this afternoon, so tomorrow is Blue Mountain time! I try very hard not to overbuy beans, because it pisses me off when they go stale.

you make your own coffee?! it doesn't come out of a machine or is handed to you? LOL

What's a good leakproof coffee vacuum mug that's made of ceramic?
It HAS to be leak proof, I throw it in my bag and most other containers explicitly say "DO NOT THROW IT IN UR BAG".

I've resorted to adding cream to my coffee just so it won't taste weird in my stainless steel flask.

I prefer buying coffee than making it myself. There's something nice about paying someone else for a little cup of happiness.

I can understand if they have specialist equipment that you don't have, but plain ass coffee is so piss easy to make, $3 for a cup is basically robbery.

Even if it was worse than what I could make and more expensive too, I'd still buy it. I just like buying things, it's a nice ritual.

he's just poor ignore his shit taste

Everyone in my office wants to replace our coffee machine with a Keurig. How do I talk them out of this?

What's your current machine?

Highly recommend one of these:
goat-story.com/pages/mug

just a Kitchenaid Classic, but I like using ground coffee not wasting money on fucking single serve pods.

Is this satire?

>that boost in happiness your Sims get when they buy shit
Cant say I relate but I know that feel

No it's a great portable coffee mug with a strap, and it has a cool story too.

What a waste of money

>deceitful coffeecucks will never be exposed by their own Judgement of Paris

it's $30 for a portable mug that will last forever. Not sure how that's wasteful but okay.

My current mug cost $12 and it can stand upright on a table without looking like a sex toy.

Maybe the extra 18 bucks is for the sex toy functionality

>beard
>checkered shirt
>shitty tattoos
Like clockwork.

that's because coffeefags are open minded enough (read: every coffee growing region on earth is equally a shithole anyway loooooooooool) to weigh every area pretty much equally

I found out that I can get a bottle of 200 caffeine pills for $6 and I'm just sorta wondering what the fuck is the point of coffee anymore?

Can somebody explain why instant coffee has like 70g sugar per 100g?

like wtf?

what are you on about?

Then cold brew at home and bring enough for each day to the office.

How do I make coffee that would taste as good as Twin Peaks makes it sound?

What is the best BLACK coffee that can be bought in stores?

Got the Trader Joe's coffee on a whim and it's surprisingly good for supermarket coffee. Favorite super market coffee?

>tfw your overrated local coffee shop company gets bought out by a giant corporation and the other one goes bankrupt so everyone has to wait in line in starbucks again like the plens they are while you're drinking 99 cent gas station coffee.

It was never good, Agent Cooper was just a charming yet always cold and distant law enforcement professional. Being a big city sophisticate he knew what good coffee was, and it wasn't what they had in Twin Peaks. But it wasn't about the coffee, it was about the people. If only he could get over the one he loved. But maybe that was a lie too? To protect her feelings. Agent Cooper, the protector. A Christ like figure almost. Suffering in the service of others, with the Godlike power of the Federal Government through him, in him, with him.

I would have to say probably the Nyarusiza from Grumpy, available at Whole Foods. It's pretty good.

get in touch with accounting and show them the difference in costs. we love avoiding stupid bullshit that will effect the bottom line

Wait til coffee autist changes departments, and then everyone is pissy that they have to clean the kitchenaid, then the NOT MY JOB starts, and there's an HR crisis, and suddenly it's no longer an accounting drone problem it's been kicked up to the board of directors

Also appeal to taste. Show articles about how the pods taste bad and if you want to go drastic argue that it'd be cheaper if everyone had their own coffee pot or french press at their desk in the long run, thus negating the tension for the last person to clean out the pot and start a new batch despite Alcoholic Stan in sales drinking 90% of it and you just wanted a cup.

That sounds awesome and hilarious to me.

Yo anyone wok roast beans? I'm getting tired of my local selection, had most things I like and tired of paying a lot. Don't have a popcorn popper though. Redpill me.

I honestly really enjoy a nice cup of coffee. Ive been drinking the cheap shit lately. It does the trick but you cant savor it like really good coffee.

>>he doesn't activate his beans
I only activate my balls
so I have no fking clue what activating coffee beans means

>because it pisses me off when they go stale.
how long do you keep your coffee beans, 6 months?
and how can you tell if coffee beans are gone stale.
what are the signs of stale coffee beans?

>Can somebody explain why instant coffee has like 70g sugar per 100g?
>like wtf?
>what are you on about?
EXACTLYT, what are you talking about you massive faggot?
are you buying 3 in 1 mix, instant coffee, sugar and coffee whitener

I'm a pretty pragmatic guy but this thing is so fucking ugly I wouldn't take it if it were free, I don't care how well it works

...

I don't give a shit about this anymore, so save your responses

It's just a meme dude chill

Gg coffe bro im from poland m8 YOLO

i was interested in learning about it here in this thread.
many times i posted answers helping others with their questions, and as you know sometimes it takes 15-20 minutes to post proper response with links and pictures,
but from now on i will not post any responses and will not use my time trying to help, I will just fuck around with people
fuck you all

rip

Can we all agree that this is the only acceptable way of making coffee?

Why do snobs hate instant coffee anyway?

they have functioning taste buds I guess?

They are super snobs maybe?!??

Instant cofe > All other cofe
quads confirm

I don't like coffee, it upsets my stomach and I don't like the stimulating effects. I'd drink decaf but I don't like the taste enough to even bother.

Holy shit

As you say, quads confirm...

...

i'm drinking coffee right now, it's pretty nice

if any of my friend circle gets too faggy i just stop talking to them outside of group settings, it's not hard

thankfully we're all just the human equivalent of a shitpost who happen to be good at making the stuff we cram in our mouths

You seem like a massive faggot, better get that checked out

french coffee press device is only good to keep by your bed and use as an urinating device at night if you are too drunk to walk to the bathroom

>you're
retarded barista get no tip

Few quick benefits of stoping drinking coffee:
1.Saved money on buying coffee beans.
2.Saved money on electricity by not grinding coffee and by not brewing coffee.
3.My teeth are not getting yellow stains from coffee.

Winning all the way

FUCK

>FUCK
COFFEE

Not the only one but it's the cheapest way to make great coffee by far.

>great coffee
IF YOU THINK THAT FRENCH PRESS CAN MAKE GREAT COFFEE THEN YOU ARE VERY MISGUIDED BY THIS OVERRATED COFFEE MAKING DEVICE

Then please enlighten me user.

so called french press uses course coffee grinds, if coffee ground are too fine they will be in your cup.
course coffee grounds prevent better extraction of all the good stuff that is in the coffee compared to finer grounds.

if you are going to buy press coffee maker, but the best there is, and i believe this brand is the best.
it has few design features that are above regular/standard design coffee presses.

google picture related to learn why is the best

>HOW DARE PEOPLE LIKE THINGS I DONT LIKE

Hey Veeky Forums. What are you supposed to do with the whipped cream that goes on top of coffee? Are you supposed to lick it off or mix it into coffee?

you're supposed to do whatever tastes good you sheep
also this isn't coffee, it's a milkshake

I'm not a liberal. I'm Nationalist, and perfecting ingredients to great tasting foods and drinks is about as white as it gets.

Stop chimping out over other people's pleasures.

It's hard to fuck up in general.

Buy a moka pot or a french press.
Honestly, I personally stick with my Cafe Bustelo or Lavazza. Very classic espresso roasts.

However, they're obviously not the most premium ingredients on the market. They taste great, but if you want to be a snob; Get fresh, whole beans, grind it yourself with any coffee grinding machine you can find online, and brew.

Only reason to do this is to get a stupid dessert coffee or a legit espresso or espresso-based drink brewed by thousand-dollar equipment.

>delusional retard so delusional he calls others delusional retards

Welcome to Veeky Forums faggot

#triggered

Anyway, you're on one of the slowest boards on the site, so don't complain about stupid shit.

Just about any drink that comes with whipped cream is sweet enough to overpower the flavor of diluted whipped cream when mixed in, and obviously does not need to be thinned out by cream. Mixing it in doesn't bring you much except that, if you don't have a spoon, eating the whipped cream directly may end up with you looking like a child or animal.