Guys, I fucked up

Guys, I fucked up.

>been married 3 years
>met at culinary school @CIA Greystone
>she was in baking/pastry program
>I worked security
>fast forward to yesterday
>she's been watching food reviews on YouTube for the past few weeks
>I always hide my power level; never tell her about Veeky Forums
>pick up pho and bahn mi for dinner
>we're walking up the stairs to our apartment
>she's telling me about the different youtube food reviewers she likes
>mentions one younger guy who is boring and monotonous and awkward
>I instinctively ask "Does he wear a suit?"
>"Yes..."
>OhShitNigger.jpeg
>she senses my unease
>I tell her I think I know who it is
>we get to the apartment and turn on YouTube
>search for Reviewbrah
>"Oh yeah! That's him. So you've watched him? He's so boring right?"
>tell her his awkwardness is part of his charm
>"He's just weird."
>No one talks about my food husbando like this
>sperg out and tell her about Veeky Forums
>she sees food gore thread
>dick jokes, faggot and nigger jokes and all around fuckery
>she also went in a Joey thread and was disgusted
>she even saw the thread from last night when the guy put his dick in his curry

She was on here for a a solid 2 hours last night. I asked her what she thought and her answer was "I'm not sure.."

I also didn't get a kiss goodnight last night and she barely spoke to me this morning while getting ready for work.

She'll be browsing daily in no time

Surprise her with some Himalayan pink salt. Based on her reaction, either fuck or divorce her ass.

Guys, she might be reading right now!

Did giving away half your shit the first two times not hurt enough?

It could be worse.

A few nights ago my wife was playing some really depressing music and it was ruining my mood cause I was high.

I sperg out and say, "you want to see some real depressing shit?"

And begin to show her rekt/gore threads on /b/

Hasn't talked to me in days

There is only one answer to this problem and you know what you need to do. Roast the bitch a chicken with some mashed potatoes, mushroom ragout and tall glass of urine.

Quick, post something cute. Here's some kraut

...

never reveal your powerlevel, but tbf if she doesnt come out the otherside understanding this after 3 years of marriage she was never your other half to begin with.

At least post a recipe.

How can make cinnamon pullaparts like they make at Papa Johns?

...

This isn't me.

You got me beat. That's definitely worse.

I picked up a rabbit to make up for last night. Was think of braising it and serving with a mushroom sauce. Some cauliflower mash and roasted carrots on the side. Thoughts? Anything you'd change?

This. A divorce is definitely what you need here because the puta doesn't know the real you.

>being married
>hiding power level

Why did you try to hide your Veeky Forums browsing in the first place? My wife has known I visit here since we started living together before we were married. It's not that big a deal if you don't make an autistic secret out of it.

>hiding your power level

Your relationship is doomed to fail, because you can't hide yourself from the person you live with

While I appreciate the effort this is clearly a fake story. Veeky Forums is the least offensive board on this site

it's better if you both browse Veeky Forums and share the same exact awful sense of humor

but there's no girls on the internet of course so that's impossible

youre going to get divorce raped user, what self-respecting woman would want to be married to a 400lb alt-right racist nazi hacker troll hitler frog?

wow user thats impressively stupid

>wow user thats impressively stupid

Yeah, when I woke up the next morning, I spent an hour trying to convince myself it was a dream...

man, you guys pick awful women.

She will now be wondering if you are autistic for coming here so much. Your genes are no longer ideal for her. You fucked up