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This is quality advice

Cause i fucking hate him but want to look like the better person.

It's just a waspy yuppy name
Could have easily been Brent, or Trent, or Gabe, or any other faggoty name you'd expect to be a blonde bully in an 80s movie who wears Lacoste and hangs out at a country club

Please improve your own life

How about lawrence?

Eh, I could be wrong but Lawrence doesn't seem like a stereotypically "yuppie" name to me, more like just an old fashioned name that's been forgoton, like Clancy or Eugene

Lasagna.

Put a bomb in it.

Do not invite Smash Adams.

SPAM sammiches on onion rolls. Side of cold veg-all served straight out the can. Get em loaded first.

Who's got time to make lasagna AND a bomb?

When they arrive, just go to your room and go to bed. No dinner. Ignore them and go to sleep.

My dog came in to check in me
I laughing like a hysterical maniac for two mins. Good work

Getting loaded is going to be necessary to keep up pleasantries

A decent meal. Then enjoy their company. Buy some weights, lift them. Then read a book called how to win friends and influence. Broaden your horizons and develop meaningful relationships. Spend money wisely and advance your career opportunity as much as you can. Then when you are retired early surrounded by people that love you tell Chad hes a bitch, if hes still with your sister then.

>I've invited[...] ungrateful assholes
I guess you're a fucking idiot, huh?

>Could have easily been Brent, or Trent, or Gabe, or any other faggoty name you'd expect to be a blonde bully in an 80s movie who wears Lacoste and hangs out at a country club

I grew up in the eighties, and you have no idea how right you are. I knew a good dozen or so guys named Trent, Brent, Chad, Steven, Chase, and some more unusual yuppie names like Winston, Forrest, and Springer.

I do not believe his name is Chad

Bacon wrapped hot dogs

>Springer.
Well at least there was one good Springer to come out of the 80s

my gf did this once... Was she trying to tell me she hated me? (we are no longer together)

That's an Arabian name.

ayo dis nigga hilurious

nothing.

good point

Rape her in front of chad.

The only Chad I know is actually a fairly friendly, but he's a proper Chad. I'm certain he's told someone to just be themselves at some point, too.

My mom did this throughout my entire childhood....

It's the only way to assert your dominance OP

shoot both of them and then shoot yourself. put the gun in your mouth and aim for the spinal base. instant death.

Just make some Pasta carbonara. It's easy to make but their retarded normalfags so they'll just think "WOAH user,you made this yourself???"

Bonus points: use dry pasta but say you made it yourself by hand,they're too retarded to notice a difference.

Shu tup

please do this OP.
but if you want to actually serve food, id say cook something normal like chicken breasts and some green beans or some shit, but the ONLY available drink that isnt tap water are 32oz beers.
Casually in a conversation when they come over, offer them a beer and hand them a 32oz if they say yes. Dont comment on it unless they say "im driving" or something, keep saying its all you have. Then at dinner, put two fresh 32oz High Lifes in front of them and crack them open.

>He doesn't keep a case of bombs in his root cellar
Stay pleb

Just do some steak, it's an impressive dish when done right.

For vegetables, make a garden salad with vinagrette, also some mashed potato but properly with butter, milk, salt and pepper.

Sleepytime chicken

...

you're sucha cuck

They'll probably think worse of you if the food is shit.

This speaks to me.

>pizzza

Bring out a large serving plate in front of them, fart on it and say, "Bone apple tea!"

Brownies /k/ style

Only faggots and sailors are named Lawrence.

Make some great food, but put your semen in it. Then you can smile and nod as they compliment your cumfood.

>it's been 2 days

How'd it go, OP?

Kek Rocky mountain oysters

/k/um brownies hah