Make fried eggs

>use plastic utensil to separate eggs in pag
>half-cooked egg whites stick to the utensil

>Sauteing vegetables
>the lid falls off

>draining pasta
>forget to save some pasta water

>not breaking yolk and cooking on both sides for a mini omelette

And you call yourself autistic.

sorry to hear that, OP... i hate breaking yolks, and naturally i love my eggs over-easy, the riskiest type of egg to make since you can't break the yolk, but still need to flip it to get it done correctly. I'm a poorfag who grew up in an old-fashioned household that never had any nonstick pans. broken yolks happen, but the method I always used growing up was just use butter in the pan, (apply new butter for each batch of eggs you're making if you cook for more than one person), and drop the eggs close to eachother, so the yolks settle right next to eachother, then you can get 'em both in one flip. use a thin, long, metal spatula. medium-sized eggs simplify things. good luck hope this helps

>tfw cant cook eggs for myself because i eat them sunny side up, and the small pan we have is the only pan that doesn't have a lid

can never get the tops properly cooked cause of this, and cant use one of the giant fucking pans or else itll spread to much, can only eat eggs if my mom is cooking for everyone

>cook eggs
>perfectly done
>plate it up
>realize im allergic to eggs

just use medium eggs and drop them into the pan one on top of the other, yolks settle next to each other and not as much whites so it wont spread as far... yolks right next to each other = whites share the same spread radius, roughly

I dont want to get 2 dcl of oil on my plate aswell retard.

>make fried eggs
>go to remove eggs from pan with spatula
>accidentally remove Teflon coating
THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF SOME LITTLE SHIT HADN'T USED MY TWO PLASTIC SPATULAS AND LEFT THEM IN THE WASH.

>buying shit pans
Not even once.

Invest in the shit you make your food with you cheap cunt.

I wouldn't be mad if it was a shit pan, buddy.

>tiniest piece of eggshell follows with the egg
>spend 5 minutes picking it out

Flipping it and frying the other side for 10-15 secs make the best fried eggs.

>spatula

Why in the world would you use any utensil while cooking fried eggs?

Flip should be done using the pan.

Plating should be easily done directly from the pan.

>make fried eggs.
>accidentally burn them

Steam-frying is better, fry the bottom until desired color, add a tsp of water (or a capful of cooking sherry if you want to get fancy), & immediately cover to trap steam. Keep cooking for ~1 min or until the white on top of the yolk turns opaque.

>Simmer this gorgeous beef stock for 3 days
>Go to strain it through a collander for the first strain
>Forget to put another bowl underneath
>Pour the best stock I've ever made straight down the sink

I actually use this as a form of divination in the mornings. If I flip the eggs and they come out perfect, it will be a good day. If the yolk breaks, I stay in my room with a loaded shotgun.

I've been making scramble with roasted red pepper, giardiniera, olives, sausage, and apple. Sweet, sour, salty, spicy!

Just end it tonight

hahah dumbass

Are you me?

Why not just flip them in the pan, and slide them off using gravity? It's much less likely you'll break a yolk that way.

no, sorry

i just made over-easies on a nonstick for the first time, and really like it... really good for cleaning up, too... my old cast iron needed a sponge and/or steel wool to clean up, this you just run under water...

here's to breakfast for dinner!

>adding water to a hot frying pan full of oil

Eggs look good but are those fake bacon strips for dogs? I'm not mad, just asking.

its tofu bacon, yes. I love the way real bacon tastes but it always makes my stomach feel upset afterwards and I feel sluggish, so I avoid it unless there's bits on a pizza or salad or something.

Most fake meat products taste shitty but morning star farm's tofu bacon has really grown on me. Which is impressive since this is coming from a guy who loves his bbq cuts and burgers

Kys

Why would it be "full of oil?" It's a non-stick pan and overeasy eggs.

Critical thinking skills.

How much oil are you using to cook your eggs buddy?

>full of oil

That's where you're doing it wrong. The pan should only have enough oil to cook/keep the egg from sticking, not giving the egg something to swim in.

Retard

Underrated

Enjoy your gyno, cuck

Do you have a plate you can use as a lid?

>Make three fried eggs
>Label them 1, 2, and 4
>Set loose in a public area
>Watch the search for "3"

>tfw you boyfriend hates runny yolk
I don't understand.

>try to make fried eggs
>muslims steal them and rape my wife
>thanks sweden