I'll take my coffee black, please

>I'll take my coffee black, please

>adding disgusting sugar to strong, pure coffee

what the fuck is wrong with you. black coffee is objectively the best choice

This thread again

>drinking your calories

I work at starbucks, literally every week, this fat neckbearded guy with a fedora comes in and performs this exact stereotype, asking for "a coffee, black", and I try my hardest not to laugh because it's incredibly surreal and I didn't think anyone was this clueless in real life.

>I'll take my coffee with extra cream and sugar
>wouldn't want any strong flavour or health benefits

Americans are so retarded when it comes to coffee.

>Dump loads of grinds into a paper filter
>Burn coffee in drip coffee makers
>Having made it incorrectly, it naturally tastes like a cigarette butt
>An American's response is instead of learning to brew the coffee properly, to make it into a liquid donut

You must not be drinking the right coffee then. I prefer it both ways, some days I like it black and depending on the coffee. Other days I want a tad of cream and sugar. Why is it that when people have different tastes, you feel the need to say it is wrong and yours is superior? BTW, all the hipster neckbeard, numale, whatever- you-wanna-call-them people I know drink weird ass "coffee" drinks that makes for a living, that look like a dog ate playdough and shit in your cup, and then charge you $4 for it. Anyway, go get loved and stop hating on what other ppl like.

>We'll take our dick black, please

t. dumb flyover cuck with the palate of a toddler

>drinking
>coffee

Put it up your ass like a normal person.

What a Fedora Imagines When He Orders Black Coffee

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

I like some od those dog playdough cups though :c

...

I don't drink coffee often, but when I do, I always order the same thing- one small black, and one sour cream donut. Shit is cash on a morning with nothing to do. The sweetness of the donut really brings out the delicate flavor of the coffee without killing it like cream and sugar do.

Why do people even like black coffee?

Literally has no taste. You might as well be drinking boiled water.

Lemme find a Sharpie and go to the bathroom for a few mins.

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter

Yes, we all drink fancy sugar-laden mocha lattes like our fathers and grandfathers did before heading out to work in the morning before sunrise. Black coffee is such a fad.

Have you only ever had instant coffee or something?
You can complain about bitterness or acidity levels but not about lacking flavor from properly roasted beans

anything else aint coffee

>do I fit in yet guys?

>Literally
There's that word again.

try something other than folgers, bud

Actually, you want to out a lot of grounds in a drip coffee makerso the water has some space to filtert hrough it. Too few grounds, and you start to get the funky, acidic and bitter notes.

This explains so much

lmao

Coffee culture in general is neckbeard.

People drink hot water

Ive always preferred black coffee. Though i will add some milk to the first one of the day. Cools it down, lets you drink it faster.

>I'll have my chocolate 99%

I want EVERYTHING