Explain Vietnamese food to someone who has never had any

>not mentioning star anise

i would say that a pho broth is cleaner but much thinner than a tonkotsu broth (and on par with an assari). a friend described it as "delicious dishwater".

Imagine you're washing dishes and you suddenly remember that you have a piece of beef in the fridge that's going to go bad if you don't put down the Communist Manifesto and cook this meat within the next 48 hours. Cook the meat in the scolding hot dishwater and throw in whatever shit you have lying around and Wala!.

fish broth? it's beef broth you turd, some fish sauce will be added but it's a fucking beef broth.

udon? da fuq is wrong with you? it's rice noodles.

Lots of other options for garnishes like tendon, tripe,beef balls, lean and fatty cuts of meat.

Lime, Bean Sprouts and Thai Basil are often provided to add to the soup, some people add chili sauce and hoison but i think that ruins what is already a great tasting broth.

pretty much this, pho is the most over rated crap ever, right up there with sushi rolls.

cinnamon and clove flavored beef water with shitty noodles and paper thin strips of beef

Eh, I like it. It's nice broth filled with all of the spices I like, with as much fresh basil and spicy condiments as I want. And then it's filled with all of my favorite parts of a cow.

It's like the whole cuisine was made with my tastes in mind. All of the rich chewy bits my parents used to be annoyed at me for eating are the star ingredients. All of the desserts are in my favorite textures and fruit flavors.

It's the best.

so vietnamese food is one dish. got it.

It's lots of dishes, but pho-specific places are common.

They also do magic with duck, spring rolls, and all of the trash cuts of animals that are full of vitamins and chewy glory.

I'd go with beef or chicken options when at a Vietnamese restaurant, unless the house special is something else. Beef is usually the tastiest with the most variety, and chicken is difficult to fuck up. Seafood option tend to be whitefish extruded in different shapes with a few shrimp and cuttlefish bits thrown in, and pork usually is a bit dry unless your place is unusually good.

Go with a hotpot or a broken rice platter if you're just trying out the restaurant for the first time and you don't want pho.

The pork skin side has an unusual texture, but it's good if you mix it with the steamed rice and some of the red vinegar they always leave on the table next to the fish sauce. The fish sauce is good on anything, but especially nice on fresh vegetables and fatty meat. The hoisin sauce is very salty. Use sparingly.

Too many soups to name, but bun bo hue beats pho by miles. Che is great and different as a dessert. Rice and noodle dishes are nice. I fucking love Viet salads, particularly green papaya ones. They make excellent dried beef, just bought some yesterday. Kind of bland, but I have a soft spot for cassava cake. They also have this cake they make for the new year, bahn Tet, weird as fuck, but tasty. And of course, the other white food approved food the asshats in this thread forgot, bahn mi. It's good, but overated. Other gook foods are pretty SEA in general, stuff like balut, jackfruit, longan, durian, etc. They take immense pride in their coffee, but that has to be some provencial shit honestly.