Cooking with Satan

Southern tomato gravy and biscuits.

i shall make bread again

You imbecile. It isn't southern tomato gravy, it's sausage gravy pure and white.

This sounds like a good choice, oh wise one.

Why did you ask us what you should make if you're just gonna do your own idea any way?

Make raisin bread.

>i dont have any turds tho

I just got this. Lolololol ok ok llllolololl

maybe i will add rasins.

Cause NIN mixer dude says FUCK YOU that's why.

>NIN mixer
>Satan
Are you 15?

damn right motherfuckers

Add hominid attacks for no reason? Lay off the roids and get back to /fit?

im a tad older

2017 and still listening to NIN

Well what are your options? I mean what can you work with?

his new stuff sucks, tru

im making bread faggot. try to keep up

>im making bread faggot. try to keep up

Lols. Yeah faglord! Get a fucking clue! Also, welcome to the thread.

I'm a complete cuck faggot currently in a sexual relationship with my wife's son.

...

Hey nin mixer dude (nmd), why are you making bread again? You eat that entire Pullman loaf already?

I take this back.

holy FAGGGGGGEEEEEEET you are in a real faGAY situation Faggget lucky for you yyou can KYS FAGGGGGET if its really to FUCKIGN MUCH you facking cuck BOIIIIIIIIIIII FAGGGGGGGGGGGGETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

hahahah you forgot to not capitalize like i do

>tumbler.gif

Who's a gigantic fag? Go back to pinterest.

87% hydration????? Nmd is a fucking madman.

Lol. Forgot to remove name

its whole wheat. needs more water

im the real op all you imposters can fuck off

Any image search can produce tumblr images. That means nothing.

and 360 / 480 = 75% faggot

ya. wife and i go through a loaf quick

>I dont understand that sugar counts as a liquid when calculating hydration

What does sugar do when it heats up, friend?

>What does sugar do when it heats up, friend?

Also, what does sugar do when it contacts water?

it burns

It melts first, turns into liquid.

then it caramelizes and then burns.

anyway imma make coffee while the bread rises.

and yes i roasted the beans myself

>roasted the beans myself

What I your method? Tools? I use a popcorn popper.

same
im working on a real roaster tho

shit

POTS AND PANS IRONMAN SUIT NOW!!!!

You are, yet again, the biggest disappointment today.

thank you

Its not awful. Its disappointing, but you can still be somewhat proud of that.

I look forward to crumb shots.

no you dont :p

Oh god. Why would you make something like that?????

grilled cheese. mmm

fpbp stan btfo

...

...

I would make a comment about how you obviously like a little bread with your butter. But since I'm a total fat ass too, ill just go with "muh nigga!"

Looks like a frying pan not a grill.

Heart disease

Jesus christ dude. First of all your camera is ass so everything you take a picture of suffers, but also your place looks like a mess, your handwriting looks like a toddler's, your bread looks disgusting and you burn everything. Just stop posting desu.

>desu
kys

gtfo newfag

Hate to say it senpai, excluding the cookware your interior looks like a rundown white trash single wide mobile home.

le funny cooking thread attempting to recreate something with tons of flavor ecks di

These posts were hateful and mean and not constructive in anyway.

>I like to repeat the same bullshit over and over again. I also have no friends.

Satan, that bread needs some work. Have you considered not doing whole wheat like that? A lot of whole wheat breads are still made with 50 to 75% unbleached white bread flour. Its got the glutens - and thats what plants crave.

You can also buy vital wheat gluten at the stores and add it to your dough.

In anycase, don't let the haters get you down. Your recent threads have been the only reason to be on /ck. A quick survey of the first page right now is basically just 3 alky threads, a peanut butter and pickles troll thread, an unveiled racist mosquito burger thread, a pizza rolls thread, a "how do I order a pizza" thread, a boiled meat troll thread.

Honestly, by comparison your thread looks like god damn thread of the year so far. This board is so full of shit heads, jerk offs, neet faggots, sperglords, and cuck fuckbois it's just fucking unbelievable.

Then someone fucking mills their own grain and makes bread and they get treated horrible.

Fuckbois need to go back to their mcchicken threads.

Did you also make the cheese yourself?

whole wheat does not cause heart disease. white bread does...

its a doublewide, thank you

im going to keep with the whole wheat since im grinding it.
next one will be more hydrated. i will barley mix by hand. i had a loaf rise really well before doing that. i just didnt really write down what i did

fpbp

how long do you let it rise?

>>doublewide
>spends fortune on le creuset meme cookware
>has all the gadgets and machinery
>literally lives alone in a trailer park
Dude, you've got your priorities all mixed up.

i live with my wife on 5 acres. thanks

no cooking today. im on a turpentine fast

>turpentine fast
Wtf

Is that one of those trailer park diets where you just huff all your meals?

pure turpentine. no more than 1 tsp

as long as it takes

user that thought it was a single wide, here. Good on ya! I've been in a number of double wides and those can be comfy. Being on 5 acres is big time cool as shit. You're living a life that these coastal fucks in a 500 sqft apt for $1500/month would salivate over. Recommend not huffing turpentine or petroleum based products, however.

t. lives in the state in the union that ranks lowest in every category on 3 acres.

What do you guys do with all that land?

I looked at a couple 4 acres wooded lots in georgia but just couldn't find one with a nice enough house on it, or that wasn't asking over half a million for just the land. (I wanted to be within 30 minutes of Atlanta)

I ended up on a half acre, its more than enough to keep me busy keeping things up. Fit a pool, out door fireplace, garden, fruit orchard, pond, and a 5800 square foot house on it. I'm next to a drainage pond so I only have neighbors on one side, and their house is at least 30 ft from my garage. The closest house is behind me, they are about 15 ft from my pool, but that side of their house has no windows and I put up evergreen bushy trees to block it out. If they ever list that house ill buy it and turn it into a pool house.

I dont really understand the need for land, though I can understand wanting to get away from other human beings.

Your spatula is mislabeled

im not huffing. im swallowing. the vapors are harmful. you could always google it.

>what do I do with 3 acres

In MS, which no one denies is a shithole, I was able to get 3 acres that backs up to a 3 acre pond so I don't have anyone in my backyard for $10,000. I built my 2100 sqft house myself by subcontracting like a builder and did the cleanup and flooring myself, so I saved @30% on the house.

We grow most of our own vegetables organically on 1 acre of it. It takes that much for proper crop rotation and maintenance of soil health. I setup my deer stand 300 yards from my house. I'm only about 40 miles from Memphis, lol, but it still has Whole Foods, large Asian markets, and a brew supply store. It doesn't really suck at all, if you can handle the fact there are very few rational people around you.

why did you make two bowls?

one for me. one for my wife.
this is Veeky Forums not /r9k/

grilled cheese is short for 'griddled cheese sandwich' get a fuckin clue.

/,,/,

diddled cheese, actually, where you use semen to fry it. they changed it so it wouldnt sound as gross, and use butter now. look it up.

>. It doesn't really suck at all, if you can handle the fact there are very few rational people around you.

2017... Everyone feels this way. Everywhere.

Yeah. That's what my friends and family spread out all over the country tell me when I bitch about it to them. So I just try to focus on the crumbs of enjoyment I can get out of living relatively isolated in my own house on a small plot of land. Could be worse.

...

I can't tell if this is the shittiest restaurant kitchen I've ever seen, or the home kitchen of a crack head line cook who's been stealing equipment over the past 20 years.

its my home. im not a poorass chef

I never said that you might be a chef...

cook. chef. same thing

>being a namefag on a board you don't know the basics about

>using Reddit spacing on the chans.

>Reddit spacing meme
Fuck off

most chefs are overrated
mesa grill is good
rao's is good when the lady is there
gordon ramsay is a meme