Hey Veeky Forums

Fresh fruit, lentils, beans, pretty much anything with a decent amount of fiber. Also, lots of water.

I shit twice a day, every day. My diet is mostly meat and vegetables, with a little cheese and nuts thrown in. I rarely eat fruit or grains.
I also haven't eaten fast food once this year, and maybe eat it twice a year total.
What's your diet like?

lol no thanks, what else do you expect me to do with the time I don't have to spend shitting?

Oatmeal, fruits and vegetables

Supplement with things like wheat dextrin or psyllium husk (pre biotic). Drinks lots of water. Take pro biotics as well.

Drink lots of water.

>tfw harley will never eat pies with you and shit in your toilet as she screams in pain while you furiously masturbate outside the door

It can't be reiterated enough how vital it is to up your water intake if you also up your fiber intake. If you're not drinking enough water, you're gonna be fucked.

Worst comes to worst just eat a bunch of prunes and pray. People might tell you coffee but that only really works for triggering a bowel movement when you're already regular. If you're constipated it can dehydrate you and make it worse.

>bananas
Only do this if they're good and ripe or else you'll just be dumping a bunch of hard to digest starch in your gut which can worsen the problem.

This upsets me cause you just fucking know harley quinn has has such crazy shit up her ass that taking a normal shit should never even be an issue.

I stopped eating eggs for breakfast and eating yogurt instead to lower my cholesterol intake and I poop a lot more now.

Eat potatoes and drink a 12-pack of beer. That'll flush out your entire digestive system in a violent explosion of diarrhea.

>slow metabolism

Eat vegetable soups or broth. Eastern Europeans, Russians particularly, eat a lot of soup and that why they have one of the most highest life expectancy

Drink lots of apple juice, OP. When I was sick one time, I had that as my fluid of choice. Never again - shat like a madman.

Memecados

Probiotics are a good idea. Helps get your gut bacteria in order.

Brown rice and psyllium husk

Eat like an Indian. They have runny shits 12 times a day, no wonder they can't run to the bathroom quickly enough so they shit in the streets.

I eat pretty much the same, a little less Vegetables and more dairy. Shit 1.5 times a day. But im a huge water drinker

I just take the recommended amount of soluble fiber for adults. 3gs of benefiber with 1 liter of water for a total of 9gs of soluble fiber and 3 liters of water a day.

I like to eat a huge bag of pistachios, like a half pound bag, usually wake up every morning having to use the toilet, clears me out.

Drink coffee

Broccoli if you want a good source of normal fiber.

Drinking a shitton of apple juice also works, but will make you fat as fuck.

Or you could just do what I do, and after a couple of days of constipation, go to Costco and have one of their goddamned hotdogs with relish, mustard, and ketchup. About one to two hours later you'll squirt everything you've eaten in the last month out of your asshole. You don't even have to drink a load of magnesium citrate to be all set for your colonoscopy. Source: I just did that this afternoon.

>You should go to a doctor, though. Your hormones might be fucked up because you should be able to take a dump at least once a day.

Not at all true. Different people have different intestines. It's perfectly normal to skip days. If you go for more than three or four, though, it's a good idea to take a laxative, because you can get an impaction which makes it extremely hard to take a crap after that point. Overstraining can also lead to formation of diverticules in the intestine, which can occasionally become infected and cause serious problems. Source: BTDT got diverticulitis and can never eat sesame seeds or popcorn ever again.

Nah, I take my doggie's enormous weenie up my butt pretty regularly, including getting knotted, and I still have constipation.

>Your hormones might be fucked up because you should be able to take a dump at least once a day.
OP here. The reason I don't poop everyday is because I trained my butthole to take XXL dildos. I can take the great american challenge without even warming up, but this has resulted in my bowels being stretched out. So instead of having normal flow through my bowels, shit just clumps up in the widest parts, and I end up having to poop out a mass that is equivalent in size to that of a 3 year old child.

>Russians
>high life expectancy

Homosexuality: Not even once

Step it up and do oat bran. More fiber with the same nutrients

...

I mean, if they aren't murdered over potatoes, blown up by Chechens, eaten by bears, or freeze to death because they're too drunk, I'd bet they have a great life expectancy. Lots of fish and cabbage and beets.

Any tips? I'm kind of scared of dogs but I love their cocks and knots. I didn't think to wash it off the first time I sucked a dog's dick, being young and dumb.

Coffee

Get some gloves and a little shovel and scoop them out babe

this gives me the wierdest erection. I'm not even into scat.

I think it's cause I can just zone out the text about poop and then it's a pale crazy hot chick grabbing her crotch going UUUHHHFF