Need help

So me and my buds like to make meatballs for family and friends in our free time. However recently we saw a flyer in the center of our town by the local sub shop. After a few marinara subs we came to a conclusion. We were going to take part in the event that the flyer had advertised.

The event consist of making the finest meatballs from all around. You have three teammates so this works perfectly for me and my boys. We have to beat this other team though, couple of local boys who go by the name of "The Meatball Boys" they claim to be the king's of meatballs at least in our town. Anyways these guys mean business and as good as we are we need some help. Can any of you suggest some ideas,tips & tricks or strategy? Any help will be appreciated.

When in doubt eliminate the competition. Take 'em out before the contest even begins.

Grape Jelly Meatballs

Sounds like the beginning to a crappy college humor movie. Seth rogan, Michael Cera, Paul Rudd and that guy from Napoleon dynamite I guess. Maybe james Franco.

Four culinary students start a rivalry with "the meatball boys" for some reason. Lots of drinking and smoking weed in between. But they have a secret weapon - Veeky Forums the movie

-Don't just use pre-ground meat from the store. Identify your ideal fat content and mix/grind them yourself.
-Form 'em loose, nobody wants a dense, dry meatball.
-Season well and mix the seasoning thoroughly into the meat. (Maybe create a spicier option, too?)
-Get them close to room temp before searing.
-Simmer them low and slow in your sauce.

If you're able to, prepare 2 types of sauce (something chunkier and something without a lot of solids) to cater to two different tastes. If the competition goes beyond just the meatball, prepare a couple of different carbs too. Maybe just some simple spaghetti but also some slider buns you can toast and ladle on some sauce.

Sounds like the gang is up to another zany scheme!

>me and my boys

Fuck off, Chad.

Are there any restrictions on ingredients?

It's dirty, but I like it.

No.

Beat it you fucking bum.

As my boy Louie would say "Mama Mia that sounds scrumptious!".

I've found to get a tender meatball you should soak day old bread in milk, squeeze out excess and add to the ground meat. Made a big difference when I started doing that as opposed to dry bread crumbs. For italian style I keep it simple and add salt, pepper flakes, beaten egg, the soaked bread, minced garlic, chopped parsley and fresh grated pecorino or parmegianno. Sometimes if I'm feeling exotic, pine nuts. Don't over mix. I always grind my own as 1/2 pork and 1/2 beef, or 1/3's of beef, pork and veal. Also brown and use the fond for your sauce.

*Forgot to add: Your competition sounds as fagotty and gay as your team. Maybe have the wager be whoever wins gets to be the top for the night.

Fuck off and pine nuts are a horrible idea you fucking cunt.

Fine, don't take my suggestions then. Better stock up on some preparation-h.

>Having friends means OP is a normie

Maybe I would of if you did not have to diss me for no reason bro.

>"The Meatball Boys"

What about them bro?

Bit sensitive for a Veeky Forums thread starter, tbqh. I've started a number of them and been shit on worse than that. Better harden up.

You have such thicker skin than I. :"-/

50% Beef
25% Pork
25% Veal

The pork adds some nice flavor and the gelatin in the veal keeps things moist and tender.

And 100% reason to remember the name.

put semen in your meat balls

make your team name "the boys' meat" and mix your meat with various animal penis. i think bull penis is probably the most readily available animal penis on the market

that and you should jerk off into the meat to further assert your dominance

Whatever direction you're going, we expect a cook along, with a dash of semen. The meatball boys will rue the day you asked a bunch 300 lb faggots how to cook.

checked

Fresh herbs and garlic are better than dried, onion powder is acceptable though.

Fatty cuts of meat from a good butcher are important and grind the meat fresh if you can, that way you can control the fat content or get the butcher to do it for you, I find the a mix of pork shoulder and beef brisket or chuck works pretty well, you can chuck some veal in there too if you want.

Also put salt in the mix at the last minute if you're gonna put it in the mix instead of salting them before cooking

Don't forget to add the semen too.