Haha long egg

Fuck that got me

you laugh. but this thing is the greatest invention ever

youtu.be/KFP5mmPZe_c
You realise you can just microwave eggs in a regular old coffee mug, right?

youtube.com/watch?v=KFP5mmPZe_c

T R E M E N D O U S

Same chickens they use to make these.

miracles

Hahaha do u think the chicken got embarrassed pooing the eggs out haha just curious

...

I wonder what they smell like haha

>fucking egg cylinders

Has anyone tried long pig?

Everytime I accidentally cannibalize the inside of my own mouth.

How do they work?

uuugh I've had mornings like that.

((cackles externally))

H E A L T H Y

It's the reflection of the Sea you dummy

Learned how to do this living in the dorm at college and still do it occasionally

So what you're telling me is that birds are actually just fish reflected on the clouds?
I knew there was no such thing as a flying creature.

I like long pig

for anyone curious, that's an egg master.
Amazon: amazon.com/Eggmaster-Hand-Free-Automatic-Electric-Vertical/dp/B00MXD7CE4
in my opinion, fucking abomination.

because god loves the infantry

German engineering :DDDD

You can literally stick your penis in there and cook it. How did they approve this for sale.

My first thought at first glance at the picture was that it was some kind of fleshlight

mods pls delete

People who microwave eggs need to be culled.

you'd have to have a pretty slim dick and a severe masochistic streak

oh right, i forgot where i was

>You realise you can just microwave eggs in a regular old coffee mug, right?
this. how can people be this retarded

>having a microwave
I thought this board is about cooking, not dicking around

First you take eggs and seperate yolk and white.
Then you pour the white into a cylinder which is hollow from the inside and boil the white
then you pour the white into this cylinder and boil the white
Then you deepfreeze it.

what about places where there's no water huh? checkmate idiot

magic

>hard boil a bunch of eggs
>cut a slice in the exact same spot in all of them
>put all those slices together
>use some meat binder to have the whites stick together

holy kek

i dont like this

What the fuck is this thread

Classie doctoring for the sake of stiffly

long egg haha

>post is now on reddit

Tell me, what is it like knowing you'd be better off killing yourself?

How do you know it's there? Hmmmmmm....

how do you know he knows it is...........

not en every day technique, but i like to do this once or twice a week

STEP ONE
purchase a couple of sous vide machines from amazon, ebay, whichever suits you best. they really are the most versatile machine that everyone should have in their kitchen. perfect for all foods, from pears to rice.
STEP TWO
you want to go ahead and use at least 7 eggs for this method otherwise you wont get the yield youre looking for. separate the whites from the yolks, and place into separate bowls (duh)
STEP THREE
whisk the whites to get a bit of air into them, and do the same for the yolks to bring them together into what is effectively one giant yolk
STEP FOUR
now the problem with the giant yolk, is that it does not retain its original shape. its a liquid, not a nice sphere of yolk. this is easy to fix. soak a little gelatin in water to activate it, and boil it down in some water. once it has dissolved, let it cool, and then add it to your yolk mixture
STEP FIVE
pour some canola oil into a large bowl or tube container. i use a large vase, but obviously that isnt technically a kitchen item. it just worked well due to its volume and shape. put the oil into the fridge, and let it cool down so it is more viscous.
STEP SIX
take your gelatin yolk, and pour it into the chilled oil. this will create a giant yolk sphere, which you can then fish out with a slatted spoon. place the giant yolk into a bag for vacuum sealing. place the whites in to bag in the same way. vacuum seal both.
STEP SEVEN
have the sous vides set to 35 and 45 for whites and yolks respectively. place the bags into the appropriate baths, and cook for 1 hour 35 minutes a piece.
STEP EIGHT
remove both from the baths, remove from bags, and get a plate out for service
FINAL STEP - SERVICE
lay the whites onto a plate, and then lay your giant yolk into the centre of the whites, and voila! you have yourself a perfectly cooked, giant egg.]

like i said. not for every day, but twice a week is fine. great way to eat eggs.

Some retard posting Reddit frogs on 4Chinks told me.

>oceans are 70% of the planet
>therefore sky is 70% blue
did you even go to science school

>70% blue
It's 100% blue dumbass. Unless you're counting clouds, then it's like 90%.

>>imblying there's not a thunderstorm

I can't believe you managed to figure out the captcha.
The sky is 70% blue, the other 30% is clouds.
If the sky is 100% blue and THEN you add clouds then that adds up to more than 100% genius.

clouds are white, user... not blue

What about night when it's not blue dickhead

It's dark blue Nimrod, there's just no light to see it.

No he's right, at night it's 100% black, clouds included.

...

This is scientifically unsound.

snek egg

I'm never eating eggs again

Haha le long egg is le lonnnngg xD

This sounds great. One question, do I have to re-purchase new sous vide machines every time or can I reuse them?

It's the other way around.

Retard alert

shut the fuck up carson

but then the sea would be space colored because the sky has all the space in itself

It's the atmosphere

looks like it's taking a shit

Why is the sea blue, then? Checkmate atheists.

It's a reflection of your soul.

lol

...

Why are there no fetish videos using this stuff?

HEY FAGGOTS, here's how you make it yourself. Enjoy, and let the speculating stop.

youtube.com/watch?v=XonNy7s2Nhk

Fetish how? How could somebody possibly use this item fetishistically? Stuff it up their ass?

Shit that got me good.

But how are they mass produced?

youtube.com/watch?v=ZYz2DLN9uik

Wow these have been around a while huh?

this is why we need PETA, greenpeace, and other groups. i can't imagine the horrific, cruel treatment and gene manipulation that was needed to produce these long chickens.

Manufacturing engineering. That's how.

Never thought of that. Do white people shit white shit?

I actually knew a guy in uni who's shit was turned permanently white from participating in a drug trial for $. PERMANENTLY WHITE. To this day, I'm like, what the fuck was he taking!?!?

>ASS

This is shitposting taken to a new level.

My sides.

yeah

Here is an explanation of how these are made by a german children's show.
youtube.com/watch?v=adufmEaCzjs

Medical school dropout herr here. White shit is liver failure I think. Or kidneys. Either way, it's not good.

>floppy cock of egg
god I've missed ashens

You have to ritualistically sacrifice your old sous vide machines to the chicken fetus gods after every use. Best if done in a fire, but if not possible, you can cut them open to find the heart and sacrifice that later.
The hearts are freezer friendly, so you can store until your next opportunity to burn them.

Quality meme

>shit is brown because of gall
>stocked in the gallbladder
>produced by the liver

yes white shit is caused by liver failure

tfw short egg

Will they ever learn?

kek