Non-Drinkers

My department is going to a bar as a group, but I don't drink.. How to handle?

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by politely telling them you don't drink over and over and over and over again

if you can't handle that, you can pose as/actually be a designated driver, you won't have to drive them all home b/c uber exists now

Maybe just have a drink you enormous faggot or don't go, or go and just have water. No matter your decision you are still a gigantic faggot and everyone you work with thinks so too.

tell them you have to go to the mosque

even bars have non alcoholic stuff around, hell half the shit in most of the drinks people order contains no alcohol. Just keep ordering coke or juice and if thats really so embarrassing only order drinks when nobody else is in earshot and pretend you're drinking too.

Tell them you don't drink it's not that hard. No one cares Also tell the bar sometimes places do free soft drinks for DDs.

If for whatever stupid and convoluted reason you have concocted in your head that you need to appear to be drinking but not actually drinking like it's some stupid sitcom get a club soda and lime wedge in it looks like gin/vodka tonic and you're fine.

Didn't Jesus drink wine? It says to drink in moderation in the Bible.

just order what you want and don't give a fuck about other people's opinions. you could always order non-alcoholic suff too.
why don't you drink though?

jesus wasn't a baptist.

no you idiot jesus was wine.

just don't drink, it's not fucking rocket surgery ya cunt

I work in an environment where if you don't drink, you shouldn't be in the job. But we try to be respectable of those who don't, if, like, billing is out with us. Everyone should have fun. Just be firm but polite, and say you don't drink.

But most importantly, DON'T be the person that sits in the corner and has no fun, or judges someone for drinking. The reason people peer pressure others to drink is because they sit in the corner quietly, don't engage in conversation, and make everyone feel uncomfortable because they're mentally tallying any mistake anyone made.

If you're not cool hanging around with a bunch of drinkers, just make an appearance, be cool about it, and leave when you're ready to leave.

Cranberry juice, and nurse it all night. There, you'll only have to explain you don't drink once, and can move on an enjoy your night with your co-workers. Just be social.

order soda with lime

lime does not go well with dr pepper

>My department is going to a bar as a group, but I don't drink.. How to handle?

Club soda with a lime wedge. Case closed.

wtf is that book?

Just order a beer and hold it you stupid faggot. Bring it to your lips occasionally but don't swallow, just like what you do irl with other cylinders.

I've got news for you: If your boss drinks and thinks you don't drink, you're fucked. Drinkers don't trust pussfags that don't drink.

"Never trust a man who doesn't drink."
Winston Churchill

This is good advice

Get a signed note from your mother/doctor explaining your autism, you may even be uninvited as an extra bonus

>"Never trust a man who doesn't drink."

this

Say youre a recovering alcoholic and everyone will drop it

Untrue.

Whats so hard about ordering coke?

Why would you not trust someone that doesn't drink?

>My department is going to a bar as a group, but I don't drink.. How to handle?
Why is the reason that you don't drink? No one asked.

Dieting is a good excuse for not drinking. Driving is as well. Pick either one.

Order a diet Coke with lime. Lime is a common kill-the-artificial-sweetener add-in, so the waitress shouldn't blink. "I need caffeine" will suffice if anyone asks as you order it. Anyone that didn't see you order it will assume it has rum in it.

It's a good indication that they have poor judgement and impulse control I.e. they don't trust themselves, so develop an avoidance strategy.

Drink your fill of soda pop and milk

>hand me a HFCS beverage that will kill my liver even quicker, please

ayy

>walk up to the bar
>casually lean against it with one arm, never looking directly at the bartender
>when he finally comes by he says "What'll ya have?" gruffly
>Look him in the eye
>"Gimme a milk."
>give a knowing smile
>"Chocolate."
You'll be such an alpha, the whole bar will give you a standing ovation

Drinking impairs your judgement and makes you loosen up your lips. You talk about a lot of random shit you wouldn't normally, and open up to people.

In the context of war that Churchill comes from, if someone chooses not to drink that means he's either hiding something from the rest of the group, doesn't trust them, or plain doesn't accept the people around him as friends/equals.

No dude Jesus is bread it's just his blood that's wine

Hearty kek.

>"Never trust a man who doesn't drink."
>Winston Churchill

AKA the man who was ridiculed as a barbarous drunk and driven out of office the minute he wasn't fighting a global apocalypse where such sins could be ignored.

Just go, sip water, no one will care, seriously.
And if they do bring it up just have fun about it and be yourself, or if they're being an asshole then they're doing you a favor by making themselves look bad.

If they're all like that, leave, and consider looking for another job.

t. alcoholic

Order water and some finger food to start, then get a decaf coffee.

>someone recognises they have a problem
>has the self control to behave in a responsible, adult-like way that doesn't cause the problem
>not to be trusted

Precisely this.

No need to waste time mixing with weak willed men.

Well, why don't you drink? Just out of curiosity.

Never underestimate the literalism of a fundamental baptist.

Things like coke were pushed by temperance bars to lift peoples tastebuds off beer. It's funny to think they ended up being used as mixers to increase peoples intake of hard spirits.

No, just realistic. If you're competing with another person for promotion and you both are relatively equal in capabilities, who will the boss promote? You, a non-drinker or the other guy who the boss can have a few drinks with and unwind a bit on Friday evenings after work? It's even worse if the job involves travelling with the boss, because he probably doesn't want to have to sit at the hotel bar having a few drinks by himself, although that would be infinitely better than having to sit there with some evangelical retard who is drinking coke. Enjoy getting passed over, faggot.

>sucking the bosses dick to get ahead in the world

I guess that is a pragmatic take on things for the weak.

Drunkards: Good enough to fight against a global apocalypse, not good enough to fight against a global reconstruction effort. This is why no one likes a man that doesn't drink.

>never worked a day in the corporate world or military

Having a few drinks and bullshitting with the boss =/= sucking dick. Try experiencing real life a bit instead of hibernating in your basement you NEET and you might learn how the real world works.

>"Never trust a man who doesn't drink."
>Winston Churchill

so why did so many people vote trump?

Go and have one of whatever you do drink and then tell them you have shit to do and leave

It is if you normally wouldn't drink.

Would you have a few cigarettes to please your master as well? Pathetic.

Cheers! Prost! Na zdravi! Gan bei!

Good point. With a cursory examination of america's situation, Churchill's statement rings as true and clear as a carillon bell. A clarion call to action, really.

Kill yourself.

>cigarettes = a few drinks

What a fucking stupid analogy. Let me guess. You were homeschooled by evangelical parents?

Nah, that's what you'll be doing as you feel the effects in the next couple of years.

1. Don't go. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to fire you for not going to the bar with coworkers.
At least in America, they can probably roast your ass for that in Japan.

2. Fake drinking.

3. Have a fucking drink. Unless you have the Irish Curse, you're not going to die for sipping on a whiskey and coke. Do you not have any control over yourself and will wake up three days later in Mexico with a wedding band and a tattoo you don't remember getting if you have any alcohol?

Fuck, just tell them you're in AA or something.

So you draw the line at cigarettes for drugs you're advising people to use out of peer pressure?

Why assume it's some sort of moral thing? Some of us just don't like to drink. No real reason. That's a point of pride because drinking is technically a vice. If anyone ever seriously judged you for not drinking, they're completely immature or insecure. Or both. No well-grounded adult gives a shit if you don't drink.

this is so stupid. your just hating on people that don't drink in the same way that people in civics hate on people driving corvettes. it's an insecurity/jealousy because you have a bad habit that they don't.

You could just tell them you don't drink and have an overpriced soda. Hell, you could probably just get water without any awkwardness. Bars are filled with people trying to sober up.

If you're trying to blend in, just get a generic bottle of beer and carry it around with you. If someone tries to buy you a drink, just tell them you're still working on the one you have.

Stop moving goalposts and accept the fact you'll be passed over for promotion because you're incapable of adapting to your professional/social environment. No one is arguing for you to get drunk. We're arguing that if you want to be perceived as a fully participating member of a professional/social group, at least hold a fucking drink. Save your holier than thou prohibition arguments for your Pentocostal poisonous snake handling and venom drinking rituals.

Illogical paranoia. The correct tactic to avoid the problem is to just not drink around them. But your addictions are too strong to allow that, so you blame the other party for NOT drinking like they did something wrong. You're the actual problem.

If your church sect tells you not to drink, you are not a christain

if your boss bases employee promotions on whether or not they drink, it's probably time to find a new job. because soon, you'll be passed over for a promotion because he doesn't like your cologne, or because you don't have tits, or you didn't laugh at his joke during the thanksgiving party.

Regardless of whether your company intentionally bases promotions and stuff on whether you drink, people will subconsciously judge you for your weird ass decisions and crazy religions and will likely trust you less if you cannot even trust yourself with alcohol

Drink whatever you would normally drink. Most bars have soda and water. They might also have coffee or tea.

I was never implying that lack of integrity does not help you get ahead in the world.

Not drinking is a "weird ass decision"? Are fucking insane? That's like saying not smoking, not having a library card, or not wearing your seatbelt is a "weird ass decision" ... you need to recognize that drinking is accepted as a vice and a bad habit and stop trying to deflect your guilt onto people that don't drink. They're literally doing nothing wrong, and no reasonable adult will judge them for it. That's some a fucking teenager would do.

>you'll be passed over for a promotion because he doesn't like your cologne, or because you don't have tits, or you didn't laugh at his joke during the thanksgiving party.

No shit. Welcome to the corporate and military world, child. Good luck finding a corporation that has bosses that aren't swayed by those things. When you find it, take a picture of the live unicorn mascot and post it on /mlp/.

>Not drinking is a "weird ass decision"?
Yes it is
>or not wearing your seatbelt is a "weird ass decision"
It certainly is
>That's like saying not smoking
The opposite is true here
>not having a library card
This is just a random thing in which neither decision is weird or even noteworthy
>you need to recognize that drinking is accepted as a vice
No its not, its a normal and more or less expected part of American and European society (and much of the rest of the world too). Its certainly not "wrong" to choose not to drink, but if you tell someone you do not drink they are sure as fuck going to be wondering whether its is for some weird ass religious reasons or some unfortunate health conditions, you will very certainly be judged for this decisions by almost everyone

Moderate drinking is good for human health, its not a vice to anyone but the most insanely religious

You'll be fine as long as you can resist temptation. People won't get upset over you not drinking if that's the issue. Hell be a designated driver and you could get recognition around the office as being a reliable guy.

>nah I don't drink thanks though

WHOA

>But most importantly, DON'T be the person that sits in the corner and has no fun, or judges someone for drinking.

Fucking this. No one cares if you don't drink, some might egg you one for like 5 whole minutes but not give a shit. The problem is when fuckers go and get all preachy about shit. "Hey guys I don't drink, also have I told you I don't drink? BTW I don't drink!" So many times I've hated going out with people or inviting non drinkers over just to have them be the most anti-social/I don't drink guys;^) fun killers.

Don't drink and own up to your decisions. Not that hard

What brand of bread was Jesus made of?

People who don't drink even in a social setting are easily the biggest faggots on the face of this earth. A gay man sucking a dick would even call you a massive faggot.

over 50% of the US adult population will not have a single drink this week

This.

Why the fuck are you even there if you're not going to have a drink? Most people are boring as fuck without it so unless you're an interesting motherfucker, just stay home and watch big bang theory or whatever inane thing your free time consists of.

>That's a point of pride because drinking is technically a vice.

Getting shitfaced is a vice. Having a drink isn't. Being proud of abstaining from something that others can do responsibly is silly, unless you're a confessed alcoholic. You're better off just saying you don't drink, and leaving it at that.

Civics and corevettes? What a terrible analogy.

that's because your statistics are recording the drinking habits of 18-21 year olds

Trump doesn't drink due to age. He stopped around 9/11. Props to him for not politicizing the proximity, honestly.

Of a competitive market with new jobs in new sectors not filled to the brim with shitskins and no dip in wages? Oh the horror.

Samefag: I'm actually half full of shit.
He never, ever drank regularly, and what I'm remembering is that he hasn't had a single one since around 2000. The real reason is his brother was a to-the-grave alcoholic.

>The real reason is his brother was a to-the-grave alcoholic.

Well that sounds like a good reason.

I had a hard time convincing my family to stop buying me drinks on my 21st birthday
That's the most I've ever drank and that was only 3 beers worth

The real world is going to be a bitter surprise, college boy.

Sure, buddy and we'll all take up the new sport of hunting flying purple pigs.

>adults 18 and over

I don't drink anymore so don't go out when other people are drinking because it's not fair on the people who are there if you're not an interesting/out going person.

The fact you're asking this question means you're worried and anxious about it because you've got nothing interesting to add and/or are not an outgoing person.

Stay at home.

>b-but winston churchill was a boozer

You arent the leader of a wartime nation so don't compare yourself to that bipolar scrub

Stop being a little bitch and say you don't drink.
Stop being a little pussy and have a beer or two.

You should stop being a little faggot, really.

>says the anime watching virgin who can't even muster up the courage to talk to women

My dad was in charge of hiring people for his company since he was the number 2 there. This is true. Between two similarly skilled employees (sometimes even between lower/higher skilled guys), the one that adapts to the group better gets chosen.

this.

You're clearly a child. Also, comparing alcohol and cigarettes only further proves how much of an idiot you are.
Plus, it's not a matter of taking up drinking/smoking to appease the boss, is "hey, since we both enjoy this, let's bond over it after work".

>Why assume it's some sort of moral thing?
>That's a point of pride because drinking is technically a vice.

BUT I TOTALLY DON'T JUDGE DRINKERS AND DON'T TOTALLY THINK I'M BETTER THAN THEM

>if your boss bases employee promotions on whether or not they drink, it's probably time to find a new job. because soon, you'll be passed over for a promotion because he doesn't like your cologne, or because you don't have tits, or you didn't laugh at his joke during the thanksgiving party.

Oh boy someone is in for a rude awakening when he joins the real world.

Completely this. The most judgemental pieces of shit I've ever met were the "I don't drink" bunch, always bitching about others, not having fun and trying to end others' fun. But it's ok because they claim not to be judgemental, right? :^)

And more importantly, don't be a little bitch.

And you aren't better than a hobo just because you don't drink alcohol. Hell, you're probably even worse since a hobo has lived life and has stories/experience to impart.

...

Where did he engage an argument in the first place? He's being a faggot that responds to every post in the thread in a giant post, but he's not doing damage control.

Bullshit. Chemistry is incredibly important in the working environment, especially the corporate one, if the person doing the promoting has a better rapore with someone and believes they can do the job, they make the most sense to promote because they won't have issues of communication that tend to be far more catastrophic than minor issues in actual diligence of work.

One thing about people like straight-edge/faggots like the guy with the pic...Everything has to fit in the little molds through which they view the world.

>master
if this is how you see it you just shouldn't work in a corporate environment. Generally we just like the money and benefits.

>>Winston Churchill
>AKA the man who was ridiculed as a barbarous drunk and driven out of office the minute he wasn't fighting a global apocalypse where such sins could be ignored.
Well, also he didn't like the new Queen's husband, Prince Philip, since the very beginning.
telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1559502/Churchill-doubted-Prince-Philip-could-rule.html
And, after she ascended? Philip announced the new reign of the Montbatten family at a loud country house party. It got back to the Queen's mother and Churchill, of course, who were mortified at the dangerousness of the comment. He sealed his fate by countering Elizabeth and her desire and love for her husband. He was outta there.

Don't go. Being sober around intoxicated people can be wack as heck and you don't strike me as someone who would enjoy it.