At qt's house

Yes, now I cook for my family
Yes, now I educate my own family and have half days at school so that little ones can develop a bullshit tolerance.

>/pol/
>hi IQ

Pick one. Politics is the province of minds too tiny to understand or discuss philosophy, yet still yearn to.

I've browsed enough pol to know its about 2% worthwhile content to stir your critical thinking skills, 90% garbage, and 8 pseudo-intellectuals

Who the fuck wants to dig through a mountain of shit? There are much better places to discuss politics than that bag of smashed assholes.

I am 34 y/o permavirgin, and I just recently got into cooking. I love it but I have no one to cook for but myself ;_;

the humor threads can be pretty good but it's worthless unless your a slut for (You)s

Uuuuuuhhhhhh, yeah. Permission to go ahead and direct that to the blog.

I bet you like to think of yourself as a true intellectual, lol.

/pol/tard spotted.

how do you get to the point of being at a qt's house, making dinner?

women always fucking ghost me

So, you actually do. lmaoing@ your life.

>tfw every time you cook something some harlot runs into the kitchen and fucks you
>tfw you're too weak after the wild sex to stop her from devouring your meal and leaving nothing for you
>tfw you haven't eaten in days
Send help.

Me, because I never leave my kitchen

intellectual spotted

They're laying, living a fantasy online.

>sex normally after

so with a bloated belly? fuck that op.

around an hour after, obvi you sit and chat for a bit and let your food digest

>eating enough to get bloated

I try not to eat until my stomach is bloated. Fucking pig

Just because I didnt major in philosophy, doesnt mean I dont understand or read about it.

If anything, if you majored in philosophy you're a moron who wasted a college education by skipping over STEM degree.

Today I spent an hour reading a book about taoism. What the hell did you accomplish today, Mr. Intellectual?

>Yet still yearn to.
You are definitely a spineless homo whose been cheated on by his girlfriend several times.

>life success
Having sex =! life success
I have sex fairly frequently and I'm a broke ass minimum wage slave who spends a lot of time on the internet and browsing this shithole.

Tell me your secrets user. I keep trying to have sex nearly indiscriminately, but women just want to have shit like "a connection" and "love", all that crap I don't want to deal with until I'm thirty. I'm giving them full permission to use my body like a dildo with a heartbeat and they're just not interested at all. And here I thought I was just good-looking enough for a desperate chick to settle for. What do?

You must be ugly, or annoying basically

You're not attractive enough

>but women just want to have shit like "a connection" and "love"
They don't actually want that. Know how I know?
I have the complete opposite. 22 years old, women only want to fuck. They just want a hot guy to fuck and ghost.

They're just telling you they want what you don't to make it easy to get away from you.

Women just want chad. That's all.

The modern woman doesn't want love, and she doesn't want an actual one night stand either. The modern woman doesn't know what she wants, because there are too many options now, and women are indecisive creatures.

i'm my boyfriends private chef
today i made instant ramen

This

did you at least put fresh veggies and chashu in it?

no but i still get laid

well no shit, either you're a girl (impossible to not get laid) or you're gay (impossible to not get laid)

get tinder. swipe yes on literally everyone. message all your matches. eventually you will get laid. I'm overweight and have a shitty office job, no car, a roommate and have had sex with 8 different women this year.

I use Tinder actually. Half the fucking profiles say shit like "if you're just looking to hook up swipe left, I'm looking for my prince charming". Still got me laid twice in the last year though.

There's few better feelings than whipping up a fine meal for the gf and then plowing her afterwards.

nah i'm totally straight dude the balls aren't touching

>tfw never had a girlfriend, never been on a date, never had sex
>completely uncomfortable going on tinder because have no experience with any of these things and wouldnt even know what to say in the chat app
>wouldnt even know what to do when we get down and dirty

>you're stuck the eternal virgin and everyone else is already on some next level digital sex0matchmakeing game
>and you're stuck at 0
>and everyone in real life can tell you've never had a partner, so they stay the fuck away from you when it comes to romance, or even talking about it

it fucking hurts so much

Lol

Fuck off inexperienced teenager

im 24

the trick is not telling them, sure theyll realise during or after sex but you gotta start somewhere.
tinder is literally so easy it hurts, and youll figure out how to put your dick in and out, and you probably manage to research how to put a condom on

Women that put "just looking for friends" usually put out twice as fast bruh

Fuck me, I usually swipe left on those!

>and everyone in real life can tell you've never had a partner, so they stay the fuck away from you when it comes to romance, or even talking about it
Learn to hide your thirst. If you don't act like a desperate virgin then nobody will know you're one.

I use my kitchen skills to obtain weight.

What always unintendedly works, is fucking ice cream.

Reading about philosophy=! reading the canons of philosophical texts.

They'll just think you're a bitter virgin instead. There's no hiding it. Just like there's no hiding these faggy sex threads on every single board.

10/10

What the fuck are they feeding this dog? Do they just dump congealed grease from the bottom of a McDonald's fryer in her bowl?

>he leaves his house

ITT: people who were already going to get laid and managed to cook something just edible enough to not change the plan

I did this for the first time a year ago in college. She and I are in the same group of friends and the two of us were hanging out over xmas break. My roommate was away at his parents so I invited her over. She wanted to order pizza but I got the wild idea of making a simple lasagna. Twenty minutes and $20 bucks later we had all the ingredients and I was showing her one of the simple and good things in life...lasagna that is. Sex too.

Happy memories.

>Veeky Forums is nothing but beta fat NEETs meme
whew lad

>cooking for women gets you sex meme
I heard this worked in the 90s and early 2000s.
However, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if they're in your domicile, they're already interested in sex; you don't gotta woo them with your homeboy skills.

>huge collective across a wide range of people are all losers because they post on an image board.
really makes you think.

>What the hell did you accomplish today, Mr. Intellectual?

Browsed and posted on Veeky Forums, primarily Veeky Forums.

This guy got tons of pussy back in his day.

>However, and correct me if I'm wrong, but if they're in your domicile, they're already interested in sex; you don't gotta woo them with your homeboy skills.
This is correct. Sometimes the easiest way to get them in the door is by telling them you can cook, though. That way you can skip getting them drunk somewhere else first.

/pol/ was proven to have one of the lowest IQ ratings across all boards, as anyone with half a mind can instantly see when going to that cesspool of cirklejerking memesters

Lol

Poltards always have these delusions

he's right though

haha really. pol gets so defensive about college degrees lmao

lit > sci > ... > pol

>be me 3 years ago
>alcoholic living in the hood, defaulting on loans, being a shit person to friends and family
>but I could get laid on occasion
>must be a success!

S-shutup!

I legitimately haven't cared about impressing the opposite gender since 2010!

At the same time, I consider myself an accomplished coo/ck/ and above the fastfood and Joey/Jack threads.

unless you are to hideous to go outside join a cooking course
it's easy to connect with people if you share interests, especially if you do it with passion
Dont be autistic about it though. Like sperging out about mutton and applejuice

>Permavirgin
Lost mine at 36, don't give up hope, user.

>sex immediately
>after an hour

It takes a while for the sedatives to kick in, adonchaknow.

>I legitimately haven't cared about impressing the opposite gender since 2010!
but user, since you have a true neutral gender, this means your opposite gender is ... you. yourself. yes you as in (you)

>cooking course
>implying it's not filled by baby boomers and grannies

>this is how average /pol/ack (((thinks)))

Good. Boomers need to finally learn how to make something that isn't deep fried or boiled to all hell. And also how to use spices other than salt, black pepper, and thyme.

I am one.
I decided to pick up cooking because it is a heathy distraction from thinking about fucking kids all day.

>Thank you for her cervix

you have to be at least somewhat of a loser in some way to be posting here

no exceptions

>tfw not a virgin anymore

Meh, I pay my bills, date, and don't live with my parents but I'm by no means GREAT SUCCESS. I guess the fat NEETs set the bar so low that those are the main criteria for success around here.

Fat fuck detected

Great posts