Be 25 year old virgin autist

>be 25 year old virgin autist
>start getting into hygiene
>girls start noticing me
>start chatting with one of the cute ones
>she is smiling at me and playing with her hair the entire time we talk
>i dominate the conversation with funny stories and funny bullshit
>she is into me
>ask her out
>we go into a club and get drunk and do what the young kids do
>tell her that it was all bullshit and she hasnt experienced what i need to have in store for her
>i love to cook, as i have already mentioned her, and i will cook us a perfect dinner at my place
>she is ecstatic about it and surprised
That is tomorrow at 7pm and its 2 am now, i have a day.
I have no ideas and i need to make it perfect.
I have no idea what the girls are into considering food, i have some frozen veal slices, yet i dont know what else to make
I have potatoes that are dead, i mean the sprouts died a month ago.
Im drunk and pissed myself while trying to clean the mess my apartment is in and i still need to sleep to get ready for tomorrow.
The toilet is clean and i had to borrow a small bin for the toilet and air freshener.
The dinner is still a big task yet im dead on ideas.
Pls be useful just this once Veeky Forums, i love you, but im in deep shit and all out of ideas.
I cant order for out and say its mine, i need to make a romantic dinner, its all up to the food now.
I'll buy anything i need but i need a dinner
pls

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foodwishes.blogspot.com.au/2013/08/grilled-salmon-with-warm-bacon-and-corn.html
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Lie down naked on the dinner table with pieces of lettuce placed elegantly around your genitals.

just order a pizza and drive around the city listening to the drive soundtrack

no

Is this really how normies think and interact?
Fucking kill yourself

Steak, asparagus, potatoes or risotto

>Is this really how normies think and interact?
I DONT FUCKING KNOW
MY WHOLE LIFE IS FULL OF FAKING THE NORMS AND NOW I FINALLY HAVE A SHOT

Make her an avocado sandwich.
I heard all millenial hipster trash is into it lately. This automaically includes all women.
As a dessert you can serve sausage.

Salmon or steak, garlic potatoes, asparagus, chocolate mousse for dessert.
Chocolate mousse = butt stuff, its the law
Also put roofies in the mousse

Thats good thats good
Ok, youre onto something, why the green shit?
Why asparagus? I hate aspergus, what do i spice it with to make it taste good?
Rice and potatoes have the same place on a dish, its like eating fries with bread.
Or maybe you are aiming at 2 separate dishes, steak and potatoes and after its green shit with rice.
How about mushrooms and rice? and some curry on it, girls love exotic smells. i think

I hate fish but if the chocolate subliminal message is the anal endower then im all for it.
Im still looking for actual meat in the meal, not fish.
Thank you for the info and nice trips

Here is my romantic first dinner menu. You can borrow it if you like.

To start a warm beet, and goat cheese salad over endives with candied walnuts. Bitches love goat cheese.

For the main coarse snapper en papillote with red and yellow peppers, tarragon butter, white wine, and a bit of lemon served along with wild mushroom risotto.

For dessert something light like whipped cream and fresh fruit parfait with a drizzle of fireweed honey with just a touch of ginger grated in.

Bonus points if you make her that meal again in a few years and put the engagement ring inside the parcel.

If you've red pepper, tomatoes, some parmesan or a similar cheese, some wine and whatever fatty, salted and cured or smoked or whatever pork meat you can find (bacon's a good example but if you can find anything else that fits the bill you might as well go with it), you can make some pretty great sauce for pasta that not many people know of.

Recipe:
>3 tomatoes
>about a quarter of a cup of water or stock
>about a quarter of a cup of wine
>one third of a red pepper
>150 g bacon/guanciale/pancetta
>spaghetti/bucatini
>50 g shredded cheese

Take the skin off the tomatoes and dice them, fry the meat, take it out, dump the tomatoes in the residual fat, as they start to disintegrate add the water and let it simmer a bit, add about half of the cheese and the bacon together with the diced pepper (you can add in black pepper too if you'd like), plus the wine, stir it again, let it simmer until it becomes mostly homogenous (particularly the cheese). Then serve like you'd serve any sauce.

Try serving it with wine. And it's hard to fuck up, too.

Oh you're retarded, or pretending to be. What's the difference really

You are overthinking this and will only fuck it up by making something overly complicated.
Don't need to make some fancy ass wellington beef with truffles and shit.

You said you are a good cook? What is your favourite dish, what can you do especially well that your family/friends like?
Do that!
Don't sperg out about this. Make some fuckng pasta, some green salad with cherry tomatoes and mozarella and a couple bottles of red wine.
Wa la!

just pick a vegetable it doesn't have to be aspergerus. and rice and a protein like salmon. bitches love salmon. you can even throw a couple baked potatoes in the oven in case you fuck up the rice. she's not a food critic, if its edible you did a good job. also, relax

My advice to you for right now is to stick with what you're good at. Don't try and make something you've never cooked before and fuck it up. Also keep it simple. What do most people like? not everyone likes curry, but rice, meat vegetable is pretty generic and hard to fuck up. And even if it's simple as long as it's prepared well she'll be impressed.

Also you've already got this girl coming over which means she's at least somewhat into you. All you have to do is play it cool. Stop thinking about it so hard. If you want you could text her and ask if she has any preferences or request , unless you can't get groceries for some reason.

>If you want you could text her and ask if she has any preferences or request
Don't do that. Never do that!

fuck off to r9k with your greentext cancer retard
not a blog, not even a board that tolerates blogposting

At the very least he could ask her if she has any allergies he should know about.

I like this recipe, sounds real classy
thank you too

My favorite 'meal' is a large bowl full of mashed potatoes with a ball of salted milk skin on top of it that melts, giving it divine flavor along with the large amount of pepper on it, along with bacon flavored meat balls and a handful of mayonnaise
I drink beer with that kind of meals and i drink a lot.
When i eat it all i sleep for 10 hours, burp, shit and piss from all the beer.
Its not for girls or lean people as i am.

I disagree with you

it would not be retarded to check on food allergies out of like, courtesy. but user is correct don't ask her to choose or request the menu.

She is healthy as far as i know

The meatballs sound good. Skip the mayo. You could do the mashed potatoes if you want, or roasted potatoes if you feel like that would be more girl friendly. Substitute the beer for a nice wine. And add a vegetable medley, some eggplant parmesan or something.

Roast a fucking chicken, the house will smell heavenly and unless you're a retard and let it dry out it will be great. Make a white wine pan sauce while sharing a glass of wine before plating. Have some potatoes you already boiled ready and squeeze the roasted garlic you made with the chicken into it and add cream while heating and mashing. Have a beautiful salad already plated and dress just bedore serving. Have some in season vegetable like green beans, corn or english peas prepared and you just need to warm up. You can thank me tomorrow night after you get your dick wet and dry off.

Everybody likes fettuccine Alfredo. You can add a couple grilled chicken breasts to it. Have a simple salad with vinaigrette to cut through the richness. Look up Chef John's molten lava cake. They can be premade and only need to bake for 15-20 minutes.

I mean, it's just spaghetti/bucatini all'Amatriciana, which is really just simple food, but it looks quite classy. Chocolate mousse is a good follow-up, now that I think of it.

If you try to do anything complex, you've got a wider margin for it to go awry; when you want to impress, do something simple, but do it well.

Go for something light with bold flavors OP. Lots of veg and spice
Definitely check for allergies.

Just don't forget to cum in her food before serving it to her.

God damn user, don't make shit that complicated.
Start:
a Gazpacho, throw mixed thin sliced veggies on top and if you want to be extra fancy throw in a skewer with 3 small grilled shrimps

Second:
Beef fillet, red wine reduction and asparagus risotto

Dessert:
Chocolate mousse, because bitches love it, it's easy to make and garnish that shit with some fruits like kiwi and strawberries...

i wouldnt even ask her to come to my home and eat with out that
I once ate potatoes out of the oven but had corn flower on them, i guess the egg glued the corn to the potato slices, it looks deep fried with a more yellow tone than orange/gold but it smells and tastes divine, far better than any other way of making a potato.
I could follow it up with a wine sauce chicken as others mentioned, its is about the smell in the start.
I still need a salad. I do have home grown organic tomatoes that fill the kitchen with tomato smell when i cut them.

The chocolate moose is the dessert, that is settled and ill bring out my granddads wine

feed her a big old cock meat sandwhich

This is dinner not lunch.

Do roasted cock meat instead.

Ok, here we go

First dish
Rice with curry on and mushrooms with pepper, small portions

Main
baked potatoes dipped in scrambled eggs dipped in corn flower along with chicken in wine sauce

Dessert
Chocolate moose or whatever

Drink
Red wine

Thank you child killers, i love you and you have given me a tap on the back that nobody would in real life ever
whatever the fuck that means to you thank you and good night

I'd keep your grandfather's wine in the cellar for now. Save that for a wedding. A 20$ bottle will do for a dinner date.

this
Drink whatever you are using to make the sauce. Assuming your grandfathers wine is something expensive then save it for later.

i have barrels in the country vineyard cellar
the entire family drinks wine every day
They drink vine mixed with water when its hot
They boil it and add cinnamon when its cold
If i had to piss something else than piss it would be vine

Listen here cunt
>go get nice steak
short loin/porterhouse is easiest and take it out of the fridge like 30 mins before you cook it
>get potatoes, asparagus, broccoli, garlic, thyme, rosemary, butter and plain olive oil
>preheat oven 180 or whatever
>chuck a pot of water on for the tates
>in frying pan on low-medium heat, add some oil with a few chopped cloves of garlic and 2-3 sprigs rosemary
>strain the oil and throw away other shit
>water should be boiling now, chuck in a tsp of bicarbonate soda then potatoes skinned and cubed
>parboil for 10min then take 'em all out to dry for 5m, then chuck them in that sweet garlic oil and toss
>chuck that shiz in the oven for like 40-60mins, don't forget to turn over the potatoes half way through
>about 20 minutes before the potatoes are done, toss some broccoli in oil and put them in the oven too
>to prepare steak just score along the fat line, as if you were cutting the fat off but not actually
>get pan preheat on high heat
>people reckon don't use olive oil it's too shit but who cares just slap some on each side of the steak
>just before frying, salt each side and chuck it in
>going to cook 5 minutes each side so
>5 minutes then flip and turn the heat down a touch after another minute
>add a generous chunk of butter and like 2-3 whole cloves of garlic just smashed open a little and 3-4 thyme springs
>do fancy tilting pan and spooning butter over steaks shit
>make sure you're still watching the time then take those babies out and wrap in alfoil
>add asparagus to garlic/thyme/butter/steak juice goodness and fry until it looks like a burn victim

The end
inb4 flamed

Sounds good OP. Report back later and let us know how it went.

do something french it will impress her, bitchez love france

If you had more time I would suggest a variety of finger foods. It's playful and intimate.

Since you are short on time, braised beef cheeks over herb mashed potatoes and some tender carrots. It's simple enough, a perfect portion, and comfy af.

For dessert, cherries jubilee over brownies and ice cream, or bananas forster over peanut butter brownies and ice cream. Flambe and chocolate is a guaranteed panty dropper, just as long as you don't fuck it up. You could buy the brownies already made, and ice cream, so the only thing you need to do is the cherries or bananas.

samefag
do something like
-poched egg with pitachios and permesan, salad
-duck breast ,comté little pie with artichoke
-crepe suzette or creme brulée
and a good bottle of red wine

THIs is the best plan

fresh herbs make the house smell amazing too.. i like to make a beurre composé and rub it under my chicken skin too

Just whip up some alio e olio you faggot, then kys through erotic asphyxiation so she can walk in on you hanging from the ceiling with spaghetti wrapped around your neck.

Why can't you just ask her what kind of things she likes so you can get an idea? What the fuck?

>I have no idea what the girls are into considering food

Are you literally this fucking retarded? The woman half of the population doesn't universally like something. Either ask her what she'd like or make something you know.

Holy fuck, autists...

give her some dog food

cause all women are bitches

amirite guise

Do not do asparagus, it makes your piss smell.

Do something innocuous like brussels sprouts or steamed green beans with lemon juice.

>do tiny cabages instead
Chances are she won't be around for the asparagus piss, but cabbage farts are swift and lethal.

>start getting into hygiene

kek

fpbp

>start getting into hygiene

Holy shit, I want to know how this guy's date goes. You should secretly stream your date so that we can watch.

Only betafags ask her what she wants
You do a three course meal, simple but well-thought
Where do you live and whats your budget

if you get the opportunity to fuck her in the pussy

fuck her right in the pussy

Go to fancy restaurant, get food, put on pans at home. Warm it gently when she gets there, serve drinks.

Lose your v card

Literally never happened. If true girl is obviously autistic too. Whatever you do, dont have kids please

There's only one thing that gets girls wet my dude and that one thing is Kangaroo Steaks. You better locate and buy the closest in your area before your date or she's going to know you're a virgin and never see you again.

You sound like like a delight, OP
Congrats on the hygiene but it doesn't sound like you've got it mastered yet

just make lasagna from scratch, it can be finished hours in advance, serve with green salad(salad leaves with cucumber, spring onions chopped and parsley with oil/lemon-mixed dressing. if time get garlic bread and red wine

If you have the time:
Steak and potato hand pies
Its a simple meal, all in one, and easy to serve with a green salad

Essentially a cheap cut of meat marinated with garlic, herbs, worchestershire, red wine, and red wine vinegar, then browned with onion, garlic, small sliced carrots, and mushrooms, then slow cook either on the stove top or in a crock pot till tender
While the steak slow cooks, make a simple hand pie dough. You could even go easy and just buy frozen piff pastry dough, though i prefer to make my own and knead shredded sharp cheddar cheese into the dough to go for a firmer flaky crust. Let dough chill to make it easier to work with.
Peel potatoes, cut them into smaller-than-bite-sized chunks, boil until just soft but just barely undercooked. Make a simple cheese sauce and gently fold in potatoes.
Once the steak is done, roll out your dough and cut out either square or circular shapes for the pies. Place a layer of your steak and veg mix over half the dough, leaving enough space to fold over the dough to make a pocket. Add layer of cheesy potatoes. Dont over stuff them Fold dough over to make a pie and crimp edges with a fork. Brush with egg wash and add more shredded sharp cheddar to the top to make the crust really crisp.

Serve with red wine, perhaps the same red you used for the steak marinade.

Something light, risotto is pretty good date food, just make something light and delicate so you can fuck afterwards, something heavy and it's going to couchlock mode

I forgot to mention youre supposed to bake these. 375 for about 15 minutes, or until the crust is nice and golden.

Make BLTs desu.

It's literally bread, bacon, mayonnaise, lettuce, and tomato. So fuckin easy to make. Keep everything in big pieces, buy thick bacon. If you can sizzle it enough, even if it's drowning in grease, it will taste good with bread amd vegetables and mayonnaise. You can straight serve this with a store-bought bag of fancy potato chips or smth. Or saute some carrots or smth.

>Lie down naked on the dinner table with pieces of lettuce placed elegantly around your genitals.

stir fry veggies and rice

hard to fuck up and its always pretty good

Chicken cordon blue, Roasted red potatoes. maybe a nice mix of vegs. As long as you actually know how to cook you'll be on fire. especially if you cook better than her.

Good job, OP.

>fettuccine Alfredo
Yes, show her that your culinary skills are on level with buttering a slice of bread. Why not just serve a can of dog food?

Fucking fettuccine Alfredo. At least do a shrimp pasta, if you want to do something quick and easy.

what did he do that deserves commendation?
Looking at what he wrote, the date starts in 6 hours from now and it will be 7 pm at his place.
He is probably scrubbing the toiled right now and throwing away the piss bottles and cum rags, trying to make his den look like a home.
God almighty knows what is he going to cook, if he had done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen properly.
I sincerely wish he aces the entire dinner and looses his virginity, but i cant wait to hear how it all went.

salmon bitches love it
I suggest this
foodwishes.blogspot.com.au/2013/08/grilled-salmon-with-warm-bacon-and-corn.html

>handful of mayonnaise

Make her the best mac and cheese in the world you idiot, or crepes.

you would know. you're both faggots that hit enter after every single sentence because you're busy sucking cocks

i think one hits enter before the sentence

Good point.

Honestly just cook her a pizza. Just a handmade pizza. You don't know how picky she might be or if she gets disgusted by certain things. But everybody loves pizza, AND it's a comfort food. She'll love the uniqueness of a handmade pizza, and she'll be impressed by it. Not to mention it goes well with beer if she's into that. I'd say once you get to know her better then you can get into all the more oddball items which hopefully you know if she likes or not by then.

should have asked her what her favourite dishes are.

dont go too exotic and try not to use too many veggies. if she has to pick shit out of your meal you dun goofed OP.

>pick shit out of her meal you fucked up

The hell, I'd want to know immediately she was that kind of spoiled wench so as not to waste anymore time with the childish brat.

Hey OP,

Less than three hours mate :^)

Whats gonna be more lame, the meal or her leaving early and never speaking to you again?
>He could even laugh it off and order us a pizza, I dont think I wanna hang out with him
jk gl~

Im so picky that if I see a piece of food that shouldn't be on my special ordered hamburger (like tomato or some shit) that I will force them to return it. If I get a burger thats not well done and discover that after I've bit into it, I feel sick to my stomach and completely lose my appetite.

first time I went on a date with my gf, we went to a place called main event (like dave and busters) and ordered a large pepperoni pizza for us. She at half, I ate half. Cant go wrong with pizza

i think its a different time zone, still it could have been not 4 hours ago

It doesn't matter what time zone it is, you're just adding up numbers

he should have fucking reported by now

I will have to try those potatos with corn flower

You can't go wrong with a well composed salad.

that is probably the most autistic suggestion for a date night meal ever. How are hand pies romantic? They are messy, drip crumbs and filling everywhere, dont look that good, dont really taste super good and what the fuck are you going to serve them with? Do you think hes just going to invite the girl over and hand her a pre-made steak and potato hand pie for dinner? The only way in hell I'd consider making this for a bitch would be if it was an appetizer so she could have something to munch on while her pussy gets wet watching me cook her real meal.

>start getting into hygiene
Kek

Spaghetti & homemade meatballs.
>half good hamburger,not the cheapest stuff cause it fries down
>half italian sausage
> good amount of bread crumbs to soak up grease
>some shredded mozzarella cheese
>whatever spices you feel like putting in it
Don't forget the breadsticks man,bitches love breadsticks
As a grill most food is meh but I love to wolf down spaghetti like its no tomorrow

food that tastes good is romantic

this idea that there's sexy and unsexy food is just kind of retarded salesman bullshit. if i take a date to a restaurant and order oysters and she's like 'ooooh aphrodisiac' i will probably not be having sex with her any time soon because that's cringe as fuck shit you learn off tv.

the only unsexy food is unsatisfying food. if you serve up some boiled celery dressed with flaxseed and vinegar you will probably fail. but if you cook good food it doesn't matter if it's a fucking brown scandinavian sludge you'll probably do fine.

I think she stood him up

>it doesn't matter

You know how I know you've never cooked with the goal of getting a fuck? Women are 100% driven sexually by mood to which smells, lighting, plating and music contribute entirely. It's not like a man running around with a perpetual hardon. You'd better work on putting out some effort, pissant.

>You know how I know you've never cooked with the goal of getting a fuck?

i've never cooked with the 'goal of getting a fuck' but i have cooked and subsequently been fucked.

>You'd better work on putting out some effort, pissant.

not against effort. i just think that effort is better placed into the endeavour of cooking good food rather than painfully overthinking the concept of arousing food groups.

He's dead, F.

>people reckon don't use olive oil it's too shit but who cares

The "use vegetable / peanut oil instead of olive oil when searing" meme is crap. While that is true for the high priced, full flavor extra-virgin stuff, the highly refined olive oil, especially the stuff labeled "extra-light tasting" has a higher smoke point than everything except the boutique oils like Avacado or Grapeseed.

problem is most olive oil is not what it says it is on the bottle

When it comes to mid-range and some-what pricey olive oil, you are right. The really cheap shit that says "Extra-Light Tasting" is the most highly refined product as It is always made from the lowest quality olives. It has a smoke point close to 500 and has about as much flavor as soybean oil. I only use it for searing sous-vide steaks / chops.