Any One ?

How many of you dabble in the dark arts? I generally make a Rum from 32 oz of fancy molasses and approx 8-9 lb of sugar. to 5 gallon water.
Other times I do enjoy making wine. or beer.

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I have a couple 5L glass jugs, what'd be the easiest way to make some shitty wine or mead with these?

Get a decent airlock, and learn about brewing and fermenting. Good focus is on beginning, and ending specific gravity Shitty is easy but why shoot for that unless you are going to distil it.

I can't burn down my house just yet, I haven't paid it off and I secretly haven't been paying my homeowners insurance.

As soon as It's paid off, I'm making a big still in the garage and become a crazy old man like popcorn

I would suggest you never try then. Some people just aren’t smart enough to do simple task. What will you do when SHTF

Dam now I sound like the old guys that I used to ask to teach me.

How do you know when the methanol stops and the ethanol starts coming out? Is there a formula?

Yes you can go to sites like Homedistiller.org I run a 15 gallon with temp sensors. you can see the boiler temp increase once you learn it. I generally toss my first 100ml then test proof and taste test.

My wife was very happy one day because we started and finished a koi pond. Then she discovered that it was to cool my condenser. Ohh well she got the pond and i have 700 gallons of cool water to pump through the condenser.

I'll never understand this weird compulsion married men have to compromise every single thing they want.
If you wanted a condenser why did you have to justify if through building her a koi pond?