Give me a quick rundown on Zima

Smirnoff Ice's Grandpa.

The only time I've ever heard anyone mention it was in that one episode of Archer where he finds out the Irish mob replaced his cancer drugs with sugar pills and Zima. No one I have ever met has ever talked about it to me before, and I can't remember having ever seen or heard of it before the first time I saw that episode of Archer. I was born in 1994.

zima.com

It was an alcoholic beverage company's ham-fisted attempt to glom onto the short-lived clear beverages meme

It went over very poorly because the intended audience (sophisticated cool drinkers) was incredibly badly thought out. People who are drawn to "cool sophisticated alcoholic beverages" are fairly cynical towards marketing that overtly paints an unknown product as being for sophisticated people, but the marketing was at the intellectual level of a fast food advertisement. But the kind of people who are susceptible to that type of advertising are extremely hostile to anything portrayed as being for sophisticated people and look for products that emphasize tradition (real or imagined), and liking what "regular guys" like.

So it instantly became the butt of jokes and failed miserably.

i had some in galveston ironically because my friend thought it would be funny
tastes like a rotten sprite, it didn't even give me a buzz

Can I be the next 90s reboot?

Yes

I had a buddy who managed a beverage store across from a methadone clinic. The junkies used to get their meds & head right for the store for their Zima. Apparently, the combo of methadone & Zima gets you really fucked up.

recovering junkies love sweet shit. their nightstands are loaded with gummy bears and other shit candy.

>four
Lightweight

chuhai with half the quality and twice the price. not even your only option for premixed alcopop now. avoid.

I've been seeing Zima in the grocery/liquor store over the last couple weeks. Are they actually trying to make a comeback?

The only good thing there is Skittles.

I like Mike and Ike. Nerds rope deserves an honorable mention.

I bought the limited release a few weeks back. It's okay, it's basically like alcoholic sprite.

Why are all of those girls UGLEEE as sin? With the possible exception of the Asian girl in front of the guy with beer.

Limited run.

Protip: Mix it with codeine promethezine syrup.

>Give me a quick rundown
That's an odd way to say "redpill me"
cuck.

Cause your a weeb.

Makeup, clothes, and hair can completely change a woman

How to Die in Your Sleep.

Just got back from the grocery store and saw this.

>$9 fucking dollars for a six pack, on sale

I don't know what they're thinking other than trying to appeal to nostalgic 90's kids who had the commercials burned into their brain as a child but were too young to ever try it.

Don't they realize that the beer scene has blown up in the past 25 years, and we'd rather buy a $10 bomber of a triple or something?

>also saw this

As much as I hate summer, it does have it's perks.

is that a boy

>Gimme dat Joe Camel fade.
>Say no more.

>As much as I hate summer, it does have it's perks.

Like pedos creeping on 4th graders?

If those are 4th graders, and not high school seniors, things really have changed in the past 25 years.

>commercials burned into their brain as a child
The one I remember was the one where the guy is really hot and he's stuck to his chair and his fan turns off. So he climbs the wall because his sandals stick to the wall too and he trys to fix the fan. He opens a zima then he falls off.

What the fuck? You're supposed to drink it on ice?

...forgot link

youtube.com/watch?v=0HcEYxpAx8w

All I remember is that my aunt would drink them all the fucking time back in the mid-'90s when I was just a kid.
She was also a cokehead during those days. I'm not sure if the two are related.

(she's off the drugs now though in case anyone cared)

>stepmom's
cuck

If I'd said "dad's wife" would that not be worse?

That sounds a little better

I remember the TV ads where these sexy ripped black guys were playing basketball and then they chilled by drinking Zima.