Cook myself a 3-Michelin star dinner

>cook myself a 3-Michelin star dinner
>for dessert have peanut butter and jelly with a spoon

Living the good lyfe, I see

Im so drunk mannnn this seems liike something id do, I feel ya op. YEE YEE

>Michelin

so you cooked a tire?

Nice

Michelin stars also factor in the restaurant setting and service as well so I doubt your meals achieved even one star.

>spend 2 hours cooking 3-course meal for wife on anniversary
>too full to eat because snacking on cheeze-its the whole time
>"Is there something wrong, honey?"
>"why aren't you eating?"
>"do you not feel well?"
>"it tastes wonderful to me"
>"did I say something to upset you?"

> ... can't tell her I'm skipping anniversary dinner because I ate a whole box of cheese-its.

>that feel when do this with beer and pretend to not feel well

This was me a week ago

>cook a fuckton up for family BBQ
>prepare every dish and serve it (I'm not having any of that "I'll cook the meat and then you put whatever you want on it." shit when I'm the chef.)
>barely eat anything because I ate 4 full California rolls from local sushi place
>everyone asks me if I'm feeling alright

I have a vicious cycle with california rolls, I love them so much.

Why not just tell her you fucking beta

what is delayed gratification

>"I've never touched a woman."

Yeah, we can tell. Otherwise you'd know a thing or two about avoiding unnecessary battles.

>that little thing causing a battle
Man it really must suck to be you

Have you ever met a woman?

That guy
>honey, I am full from cheezits like a retarded man-child, so I can't share in our anniversary dinner
His girlfriend/wife
>you don't take our relationship seriously. what a joke. my mother was right all along

or

That guy
>ugh, my head hurts from all that heat and grease in the kitchen air for the last 2 hours. cooking. for you. for our anniversary. i don't have much of an appetite.
His wife/girlfriend
> i feel bad because you worked so hard for this. i'll make it up to you tonight if you're feeling better. my dad was right about you

My gf wouldn't care or at the most make fun of me for like 2 seconds. Your relationship sounds pathetic desu

>have paid servants cook me a nice meal
>eat none of it
>send them off to bring me Taco Bell
>while they're gone, I throw all of the food they made away so they don't get the idea of eating it themselves

Yeah but even if she legitimately doesn't care isn't it better to have her feel the way he described? It hasn't all gotta be about being some limp wrist fag

admitting you got full on cheez-its is a no-win sitution. pretending your sick is win-win for everyone. all details a side, there is no reason to admit you fucked up and it opens up the chance that something bad could happen. so why? because of pride? are we 12 year olds again? also, is there really that much pride in admitting to snacking on cheez-its? we know better.

>marrying a woman who flips her shit over a box of cheezeits

You have no one to blame but yourself

dude, at least 85% of women would have something to say about that situation. shit-flipping, snark, or just keeping their judgemental thoughts to themselves which still has a negative outcome. you'll figure it out when you start going outside.

You attract really shit tier women if you're getting in a fight over that. My woman would laugh something like that off.

>if you don't have horrible relationships with women you must be a virgin hurr durr
Please don't breed

That's be cause you're ugly and they're settling for you. Imagine if you'd have to settle with an ugly gross bitch you'd have mood swings too

>cook the mistress 4-way Peking duck the gate guard caught
>spend hours smoking the skins to perfection
>spend hours curing the thighs to perfection
>spend hours stewing the legs to perfection
>spend hours braising the breasts to perfection
>she won't eat any of them it because I put cilantro on it

>even one star
This might be because I'm poor but the one star places tend to be much better than the 2 star ones. Good portions, helpful staff and well cooked food that usually doesn't need the server to explain it to you. About half of them have a great wine list too.

Congrats, you found a way to make fowl even more foul.