Restaurant stories

I don't get it

Nah. Then they would have served McChickens.

I feel really sorry for you

ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/golden-corral.txt

I guess I have a mom complaints as well.
Every time I take her to a new restaurant she always has some sort of complaint and has to be verbal about it, even though she is not looking for meal comp or anything like that. Usually I try to take your two nicer better places because I know her picky attitude but it never works.

She always ends up going to the same few restaurants getting the same couple meals.

"The waitress wasn't very good"
>Proceed to tip over 20%

And just a personal pet peeve of mine a lot of times when we go to one of these new restaurants she ends up ordering a salad. It really irritates me whenever anyone does that regardless because you really can't get a feel for through restaurant by just getting a bowl of lettuce.

This shit is amazing every single time I read it.

>go to a small Chinese restaurant with three friends
>only six other people in the restaurant waiting for food
>takes waitress 10 minutes to serve drinks and take our order
>30 minutes later and we think "where is our food?"
>another 30 minutes later one dish is brought to our table, two are still being prepared
>another 30 minutes later people at other tables leave without eating and paying
>another 40 minutes later, only my friend has his plate and it is now cold. WTF.
>another 5 minutes later we get up and leave the restaurant
>as we were leaving I saw inside the kitchen and the cooks were on their phone just standing there. The stove was turned off and nothing was being cooked.
>friends and I decided to go to a bar instead to drink beer and eat appetizers.

Sounds like a Yakuza money laundering business

The first time I went to Europe with the bf, we sat a long time before learning they won't bring the bill until asked.

More like Triad, but shame thing

>we tip with a rip

>we tape with a rape

More blasian stories, pls.

> The only emotion stronger than my anger was my shame

that line is perfect

yo but did you smash though

Lemme spice your thread up

>At asian buffet place with family and grand parents
>grandpa is vietnam vet green beret
>we eat have a good time
>suddenly starts drinking
>ohfuckherewego.gif
>has only 5 shitty hinekins
>starts to demand for more alcohol
>whole resturant is 20 min from closing
>all the staff are visibly eager to end shift
>grandpa starts banging his hand on the table
"I want more beer damnit!"
>tell grandpa to relax and that were leaving soon and theres beer at home
"I want more beer now how do you say more beer in these peoples language?
Ne how moi pang yang foy nayng yang ching ching ahahajahaha"
>staff glaring at all of us
"This place is probably made of bamboo i can burn this shit to the ground real quick ive fought these people before its no big deal!"
>starts getting louder and we pay the bill and quickly leave
>thank the wait staff and apologize they are still pissed
>went back a year later and everythings good now

>Go to IHOPs before a party with my family and a bunch of family friends
>We're a big, loud Indian group
>Kinda hard to miss us
>We're seated out back, but it's still at the largest table
>Literally wait an hour
>No one takes our order
>Dad sends me to get the waiters
>Little kid me finds a pair of waitresses
>They're literally waiting around out back, not doing anything except talking in full view of everyone
>"Hey, we've been waiting for an hour"
>Literally, "Oh no, that...that shouldn't happen..."
>Immediately turn away from me and go back to blabbing
>Wait 30 more minutes
>Finally a waiter comes
>Order
>Takes another hour for everyone's fucking food to be done
>Even though it's shitty fucking breakfast food what the fuck
>We waited 3 hours to get breakfast at IHOP

They were probably hoping you cowfuckers would go away if they just ignored you long enough.

tell us more about blasian pls

To be fair I wouldn't serve an Indian either

POO

>parents are vegan
>always try to change menu items like the special pizza without the cheese or toppings with added shit
>get pissed as fuck when they invariably have a shitty stripped down meal or the chef refuses to make some weird concoction
>would rather complain in a regular restaurant to fuel their victim complex than eat at a vegan restaurant, time and time again

>one vegan place that my parents do eat at they pretend like they own the place
>they memorize everyone's name and nose in on their private lives
>"Where's X waitress today? Did her boyfriend propose to her yet? Is she pregnant?" ect.
>Dad makes up dumb names for his altered menu items
>orders a "cosmic monkey", expecting it to catch on
>gets passive-aggressive when he confuses the cashier and they give him a regular item
>tries to help out the business by suggesting products
>"You guys should really try "x" hot sauce, I know the guy there and could set up a meeting"
>they always make the same fucking deprecating jokes
>"Oh we hated the meal; such small portions!"
>Mother always says "pig out!" before we eat like we're fat or something
>mfw all of this

zero chance any of this is real.

vegans literally let their kids shit on the floor of their restaurants so i wouldn't put it past them

I wish it wasn't
>Prior knowledge: my dad likes to think of himself as a food critic because he watched Iron Chef once with my sister
>Try another vegan place a little ways away
>Pretty nice place, but has that hipster vibe all vegan places have
>waiter makes some small talk while we order drinks
>as soon as he's gone my dad says "That guy adds to the counter-culture atmosphere, he's like hip hop"
>ask him what that means
>"You know, he's got an urban flair"
>call him out on it because we got a black waiter
>"No, it's not that. He's hip! Don't assume everything is a race thing!"
>Drop it and just thankful that he didn't tell that to the guy
>As we're ordering Mom says "We're gonna gorge ourselves tonight!"
>We all ordered a single dish each, not even appetizers
>Food comes in a bit later
>I ordered a hot pot type dish, and it came with a small piece of card to rest the spoon on
>Dad eyes it immediately
>"Nice presentation on your dish, user. Nice use of the newspaper"
>ask him what that means
>"It makes the presentation street food"
>Ignore him
>When we finish our meal, Mom stops the waiter as he's picking up the dishes
>"Wait, let us lick the plates!"
>Dad keeps talking about the "deconstructed urban atmosphere" on the way back to the car
There's one more annoying thing my dad does, but it is hard to put into words. He likes to play up the fact that he has a "chocolate addiction". He buys some chocolate covered peanuts every weekend at the store, eats them all in the course of two days, then complains the rest of the week that he needs his "fix". It's not fucking funny, but he always comes out of his office yelling "I need chocolate" in a high-pitched lunatic voice like it's the most hilarious thing ever. When he orders a chocolate dessert at a restaurant he makes dumb growling noises whenever my mom says she wants to try some. I am so glad I am back at uni now.

Are you sure you're not making it all up? If not, then more stories pls. It sounds really nutty.

>Dad keeps talking about the "deconstructed urban atmosphere" on the way back to the car

What, like Guernica or Dresden? Don't think I'd enjoy that kind of atmosphere.

I would not survive. God save your soul.

Teach your dad how to make nicecream every day with frozen bananas and cocoa powder (and vanilla and flax and other stuff if you want). I'm assuming they already have an 1800 watt blender since they're vegan? If yes, get them some earmuffs for it so they won't be louder and more embarrassing in the future.

It's not as bad as it sounds, but it can be annoying. My dad is the more neurotic of the two, but my mom is probably the most egregious offender of courtesy
>Mom and dad like "people-watching", but my mom likes it far more
>Creates severely negative backstories for people she sees walking on the street
>the 2016 election changed her for the worse because she became more vocal about her negative judgement of people
>to the point where she will won't even wait until they're out of ear-shot to say it
>At a small Indian restaurant
>Someone is setting up a live show when we walk in
>Guy starts playing as soon as we get our food
>He isn't bad, but out of place for the venue; playing solo blues for a bunch of indian people, a chinese couple, and us
>Mom fucking hates it
>Makes a show of plugging her ears and sticking her tongue out whenever the guy looks away
>like a fucking child
>Dad used to play guitar so he gets embarrassed and tells my mom to settle down
>She says if he can play it's her right to protest if she wants
>Keeps mouthing "You suck" in between eating her meal
>I am pretty sure the guy next to us was a friend of the guitarist because he kept giving us really sad looks
>Dad asks my mom one more time to cut it out
>"Why should I cut it out when this guy fucking sucks?"
>Get another depressed look from the guy next to us
>Dad and I finish as quickly as possible and get mom's food wrapped up
>Dad makes an effort to thank the guitarist for playing
>Mom is still adamant she was in the right to this day

How old are your parents

>I'm assuming they already have an 1800 watt blender since they're vegan
Yes. They have a vitamix and drink a chocolate banana smoothies everyday for breakfast. It's pretty tasty but I wish they did more with it besides smoothies and vegan cheese.
My Dad is 50 and my mom is nearly 60.

>poorfag
>wait tables
>only time I eat is when I bring back half full plates to the dishwashers
>old lady walks in
>asks me what I recommend
>tell her to get the biggest steak we have, knowing full well she'll never finish it
>eats only a fourth of it
>take the plate back and scarf it down before the sous chef sees
>old lady asks me Goethe leftovers
>ohshit.jpeg
>tell her that we unfortunately threw it out
>old lady says it's okay
>it's for her dog
>doubleohshit.webm
>ask a cook who owes me a favor to grill one up as soon as possible, no questions asked
>tell her to just wait a bit while I go through the trash to find it
>rush the cook before the sous chef sees
>taking too long
>go back to the old lady and say that I'm having trouble finding it
>old lady says to forget it
>tips me $50 for going through the trash
>steak is ready
>scarf that one down as well

Two steaks and $50. Not a bad night.

reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/

She knew what was up and was calling you her dog.

I'm so desperate for money; she could have put a leash on me and whipped me if she kept feeding me and tipping me like that.

Hot

>reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/
I just looked at the rules and holy fuck that is cancer. Never link to reddit again.

Mods are always power tripping. That's why we don't have any on 4ch...

Looks to be some kind of safe space for shitters with a victim complex? Everyone who chooses to reproduce in a developed country is a narcissist, believing their cookie cutter genes to matter much more than starving people who are already here.

Antinatalism is retarded. What if you want to pass on your genes so the world isn't engulfed by a tide of low iq retards?

You're not smart. Smart people aren't on Veeky Forums.

Alber Einstein posted on Veeky Forums.

Damn...

This can't be legal, and you can't have this little dignity.

What's illegal about it? I guess you've never been poor.

Biohazard risk, contamination risk, health and safety risk, etc
Also, no I haven't.

> be me
>Live in 5brm house alone with girlfriend
> Raining sex
>gf had this friend from work named Nikki who was trailer park tier
> Apparently just escaped abusive relationship
>gf begs me to let Nikki stay over, have more than enough space can't really say no
> Nobody tells me until after she moves in that she had a four year old boy
> Constantly dumps kid on us to go to work
> Says she works at 7 eleven bit have never seen her uniform
> When asked which store she says several locations
> Kid is not even potty trained yet and pisses and shits everywhere
> Thinks Santa Claus is his dad
> we have ton of food but she insists on feeding him only Cheerios
> From a bowl on the floor
> Because she says he won't sit at table
> Finds out she had two kids before
> One was taken by child protective services
>she traded other for a truck
> Take kid to McDonald's
> Feed him nuggies
> He throws up bright green
> Says mommy put spicy water in his Gatorade again
> Find out that means bleach
> Almost get arrested at fucking McDonald's because people think I did it

Albert's retarded cousin? Yes he did.

Did you report that shit? Bleaching kids is not okay.

I guess that's another good reason not toilet the chef or sous chef see me.

Being hungry and poor makes you do things.... things you thought you would never do

It was years ago but yes

>> Finds out she had two kids before
>> One was taken by child protective services
>>she traded other for a truck
how much of a terrible human being do you have to be to trade your child for a truck? what the fuck?

so what happened?

Nothing really as far as I know she played the abused single mom card and then was allowed to run off the California with the kid.

>dad comes to town to visit
>we go out to eat
>it's a nice place that we usually go to when he comes to see me
>we have a few drinks and an enjoyable meal
>talk about his work, talk about my work
>have a pleasant time because we're normal people
what the fuck is wrong with y'all

What kind of truck?

I edit HTML to make fake screenshots for easy reddit points.

>> Says mommy put spicy water in his Gatorade again

Damn, bro this line really breaks my heart. I have 3 sons. One I have full time, and the two older boys live with their mom in another state. I wish every day I could see them and tell them how much I love them, and it really gets me that someone would try to do that to their own.

My mom likes Tex-Mex. I tried taking her out for something a little more traditional once

>user, where's the sour cream?
>why is her accent so thick?
>eww, beef tongue. you're not eating that!
>the menu is so small. I want a chimichanga.
>there's no lettuce or tomato on my taco

1980 something 4 runner

Was your gf with you at that time as well? Whose side was she on?

...

>more ashamed of vietnam veteran grandpa than piece of shit asian buffet that wont serve a customer beer when they are still open

Fuck them, if it wasn't for people like him they'd be pounding rice paddies in a communist hellhole.

maybe someone from your family shit outside on the street?

Seems like Americans take out all their cruelty in customer service because there's this meme of the customer being right and everyone having to suck their dicks.

I like the French style desu, utter contempt for the customer, especially if (yank) tourist.

Americans abuse because they are abused by their employers. I haven't experienced much rudeness in France, but I'm from Minnesota, not a touchy-feely southerner.

It's not so much rudeness but a lack of ass kissing, which I really like. I get queasy when people are fake nice.

I'd let it happen for free

This was before pol redpilled me

>>old lady asks me Goethe leftovers
patrician as fuck

?

>ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/golden-corral.txt
where?

why not use that money to run real restaurants?

what does this even mean

You get the bullet

They would have given him more if he wasn't acting fucked up. I'm a bartender and if someone started being a ass I cut them off because I assume they have had to much to drink

lost hard

or the fact that its illegal

>It's not fucking funny, but he always comes out of his office yelling "I need chocolate" in a high-pitched lunatic voice like it's the most hilarious thing ever. When he orders a chocolate dessert at a restaurant he makes dumb growling noises whenever my mom says she wants to try some. I am so glad I am back at uni now.

i put this in a text-to-voice converter and it's incredible.

I went to some pretentious hipster restaurant recently
Half the menu was vegan/gluten free bullshit and the bathrooms were all "gender neutral" and just had signs that said "whatever" on them
I think the thing that truly triggered me was the fact that someone ordered a shepherds pie off the vegan menu
It just came out as a pile of potatoes and veggies and these fucks had the audacity to call it a shepherds pie

I believe this.

If you mess up a pancake and it tears, you just fold it up in an attractive way and call it "deconstructed." Your dad makes me feel like I'm in a meeting at work because it's the same variety of bullshit. I get paid $11/hour for tech support and shouldn't be in meetings, but I get dragged in anyway. There's free fruit and sometimes lunch at work. I'm only allowed to work 8 hours a day 3 days a week maximum.

CHOCOLATE!
CHOCOLATE!
CHOCOLATE!
AACK!

A vegan place here has single-occupancy restrooms so the signs show what's in them not who they're for. Going there for jazz with mom and bf this Thursday.

>at breakfast diner
>with two of my friends
>friend 1 well call him trent and friend 2 well call him sam
>sit down and ask for waters and sam the super autistic one is creeping on our waitress
>she leaves and we figure out what we want to eat
>sam is heavy set and long hair with scragily bead and blinks his eyes constantly like a tick
>while looking at the menus trent and i see sam shaking his leg which in return ahakes the table
>tell him to calm down and he does
>starts fucking with shit on the table like silverware and creamers
>tell him to stop and he does
>grabs the ketchup bottle and starts shaking it in a rocking motion side to side
>ask him why hes doing that when the food isnt even ordered yet
"I just want to i like shaking it
>ignore him and look at the menu
>i feel something wet him my hand
>i look over
>the FUCKING bottle poped open and went everywhere on the table, divider and the table next to us
>thank fuck no one was there
>i tell him he shouldve just put the damn bottle down
>trent and i start cleaning up the mess as sam sits there doing nothing
>waitress comes back and offers to clean up
>i say its okay that we made the mess and well clean it up
>there was an old guy giving us dirty looks probably guessing were just punks
>trent stares back at him expecting the guy to say something and the guy sees trent looking at him then looks away
>we finish our food quickly then leave
>i have so many sam stories

my bf, not mom's.

The worst part about it is both restrooms were clearly Male and female bathrooms at one point because one was plain and simple with like 0 design whatsoever and the other one was pink and flowery all over the fucking walls

You sound like an insufferable bossy cunt

>At breakfast/brunch joint call Famous Toastery
>Menu states eggs benedict comes with a side of toast
>Meal comes and I'm greeted to the sight of a single slice of toast, cut in half diagonally
>Mention to my server that they should change the menu, because it's misleading
>Instead a side of toast, it should say "a side of A toast"
>I also remarked that a place called Famous Toastery probably shouldn't be so stingy with the toast

>Go to a steakhouse with some friends (I don't usually, steaks not my thing)
>Order salmon filet with a side of some potato shit, I don't remember
>Meal is brought out
>Salmon filet is the size of a fucking credit card
>The fucking SIDE DISH potato shit is fucking bigger
>Ask them to kindly fuck off with this shit (in far nicer words) and I order a salad with grilled chicken
>It's fucking massive
>WTF
>Cheap bastards! It's just fucking Salmon, you assholes!

Are you autistic as fuck too? I have alot of friends who i dont talk to anymore because they act like complete manchildren i dont care if your on a spectrum if you an adult dont sperg out in public and contain yourself