Al/ck/

Getting married in 4 months, plan to stay hammered until then, fiancee hates the stuff.

Want to know how I know your marriage will end in disaster?

IVE GOT IT

A bin liner filled with lighter gas. Put over head and seal with tape around neck. The tricky part was how to then handcuff myself to a radiator so I couldn't desperately tear it off, but superglue is the answer. Just cover my hands and arms then splat myself against a wall.
Budget exit bag.
I feel so much calmer having thought of a way out if I need it. Wasn't looking forward to slashing my wrists.

Self sabotage is the bread and butter of alcoholism

I'm clean 14 days. I have the next week off work. Not sure if I want to stay clean :/

You need help user. I mean you really need to spend time with people to keep you away from the bottle. And if you get disoriented for more than a day, or see blood-pressure shit on your eyes, or worse have a seizure; then you need a clinic.

> 7 hours in and I'm already shaking.
I'm not a doctor but make sure you are getting lots of water, make sure you get a little sodium, and if you had some bananas around that would be great. Don't try to switch your vision between distant and far away, and make sure you stay away from flickers and low-framerates.

I've been sober for years at a time, but the correct answer isn't the alcohol, I screw up enough on my own.

I used to ferment store bought apple juice and sugar for distillation.

On the wagon now desu.

Does anyone else fucking despise being horny while really deep into the pit of alcoholism? It's such a bastard of a chore. I just want to lay here and gently relax, not exert intense pressure on my body and mind by imagining sexuality savaging some cute gril. I can ignore it for a day or two but the urge eventually becomes unbearable and I have to either try my luck at the pub, or use trusty pornhub to make the stupid nagging need for sex fucking leave me alone. I have bigger problems than the continued survival of the human race, my dick needs to fuck off and leave me alone.

Starting slow tonight, cant get motivated to drink. So far Ive only had 3 beers and 2 shots.

I don't. Cat shit eating cuz sis reporting in.

Not the same but I've noticed that nofap really doesn't go well with drinking huge amounts for several days because it always ends with such a throbbing erection that I literally can't sleep.

>can't get motivated to drink
What fresh hell is this? user what are you talking about? You're supposed to be trying to find the motivation to not drink, not feel bad because you have to go through some tedious process by which the unimaginable hell you're currently experiencing is transformed into a delicious comfiness.
There are people here who are dying. People who are crying. People stealing, people so desperate that they're praying to gods in which they don't even believe. There are even people drinking spirits through their ASSES in an attempt to make booze more accessible. "RECTAL SIPS OF VODKA", I distinctly remember him saying it months ago but... no, not you, user. You just breezily can't be bothered to drink? Are you quite positive that these threads are for you?
Run.

>blood pressure shit on your eyes
Not that guy, but could you explain what you are referring to?

Seriously though, I will get better and this fuck thinks I'm already dead

So needlessly torturous, completely retarded.

I'm going to die sometime this year, I can feel it

Well what should I do then? I've no access to guns or explosives and the only tall buildings near me are too far away, I walk with a cane because of alcohol, I'm soon going to be in a wheelchair if I don't escape from this nightmare, then perhaps totally immobile, laying in bed wanting to make it stop but being unable to move

I'm not doing so well tonight, here's the story enjoy my misery if you are reading

>Be me
>Work for big company
>Working on 5-6 projects every few months
>Out of everything that has been successful one project failed this week
>It hit me pretty hard, you know I wasn't prepared for this at all
>I'm hurting right now

I mean just for the record I really don't want you to kill yourself. Have you gone somewhere to try to get help? I hope you can talk to someone or some kind of organization or facility or something.

Listening to Faxing Berlin and polishing the mouth of a tequila bottle. If only these good feels could last longer.

no more booze. think this might be the tipping point friends. going to go to the community center tomorrow or the next day to check out volunteer opportunities. hopefully make some friends.

Yeah tried pro help. CBT, shrinks, alc therapists, doctors, support groups, even booking hookers and fem alchies just to have someone to whom I can complain and vent. I always relapse. It's like I go into some kind of reptilian-brain state and buy the stuff with no ability to think or to stop myself, then 'come to' upon realising that I started drinking again. It won't ever stop.

>smirnoffbro will never post again

Most here are user, there's normally well over 100 posters per thread. there are bound to be lots of people dying, we just don't know it. Alcohol is truly foul. And yeah I think it's fair at this point to say that he's gone.

Alcohol is the devil, I wish I never discovered its evil deliciousness

Y'all should quench your cravings with other, safer alternatives. Vape some weed and relax.

yeah i've pretty much been dead inside ever since I started drinking heavily

>dead inside
But that's the way I like it. Feeling anything is the scary part.

5 minutes.
Time to start walking.
Going to throw up on their floor this time, I know it.

You're basically me but trust me, I'm much worse. I've been secluded since I was 8. My family ran a convenience store and it was a lot of work so I had to help out. I wasn't allowed to stay after school to play with my friends and they were also very over-protective, not allowing me to go to birthday parties and whatnot. So I would go to the back and literally daydream about a different life. I still do it now because I can't come to terms with my reality. It's too much. There are too many mistakes to fix. Some that can't be fixed. I have so many imaginary scenarios in my head that I might as well be schizophrenic.

Drank a fifth of fireball and I couldnt remember what I did the next morning. Also woke up still drunk and threw up for 5 hours straight.

ahh, fireball
when I was new to drinking I tried to chug one of the large bottles of that. I don't remember any of the night but I was told that I puked for 3 hours.

I'm 30
Have a good job
Talk to coworkers sometimes
I still say dream
I still talk to myself in the car
Driving home from work
Bumper to bumper traffic
I'm talking to myself in the car out loud
Chick in front of me keeps looking at mirror and in my direction
I'm sitting there talking to myself.... she chuckled

Managed it. Back home, have booze, only puked on the street not in the shop, time to feel better. Might even find the energy to cum, and stop my dick from nagging.
Shame I'm shitting blood ten times a day, wonder what that's all about, but a few more swigs and in 20 mins I won't fucking care.

How old are you?

Too many previous convictions for dui plus drunk and incapable. The police loathe unwell people. If they caught me with weed I'd go to prison. Retarded given that if I could legally vape/bake weed, I'd have avoided alcohol and would never have encountered a single legal issue.
Still, wouldn't like to petrify the public with the inevitable killing spree I'd go on should I inflict on myself the reefer madness the drinks industry informs us I'd inevitably encounter should I eat a herb as opposed to spending a fortune on their lethal poison.
Bottoms up.

34

Well, at least your writing is excellent.

I made frozen margaritas

They dont make marlboro blue 72s anymore. What should I smoker?

Frozen?? Oh FUCK OFF!

Yeah I put my stuff in an ice cream maker

It's getting weird tonight.

I'm sitting here talking to myself at night and having an imaginary conversation in my head

....

So after another stupid bender I hoped that you could share some tips and ideas.

As I was lying in bed I thought about starting to write and journal/diary. So that it's easier to go back and look what kind of a shitty person I'm and why I shouldn't drink.

Second was just to make "Good vs Bad" graph about how I spend my time. Worst would be drinking, being lazy a little bad and exerciser would be good and so on. This is to try and get structure in my life I guess.

I don't know these are just ideas I had but I'll try most things at this point. So feel free to share anything that I could try.

I will probably start drinking one of these days... my demons have started taking over again

You talking-to-yourself anons should listen to Eminem's "My Darling". It's very relevant.

I spend a lot of time listening to hip hop music and pretending I'm the artist.

Head conversations are healthy

No. Not what I'm doing to myself right now...

I've been doing better for months..why now

>physical withdrawal is finally dying down and PAWS depression is kicking in

I guess that's progress

>Girlfriend is going out of town for 2 weeks
>Say that I'm going to make a point to run 5 miles every day she's gone so I won't be so bored and lonely in my off time when she's not around
>She leaves
>Flash forward one and a half weeks
>I have done nothing but drink 8 7.0+ABV beers a night since she left

woke up when I heard my phone vibrate (as it turns out it's battery was dying). Saw the clock said 6:45 and panicked because that's when I leave the house to go to work.

Then I remembered that it's Saturday and it was fine that I was hungover and couldn't remember why I was still fully clothed and in bed on top of my duvet and why my headphones were in the bathroom instead of the lounge.

Too afraid of prison, even though the chances are exceptionally remote

Once weed is made legal here, I will be all over it, but for now I'm trapped

>headphones in the bathroom
Don't know why but it made me laugh.

Good to hear that you're having hangovers though user. I haven't been sober long enough to have a hangover for something like 6 years. I hope your experience of alcohol does not progress to a similar point of near-hopelessness. Best of luck, bruh.

I don't drink on workdays, so I'm in a pretty good place. That's why seeing the clock shocked me

I have like a mini office set up in my bathroom.

Being bored and depressed is better than relapsing, I suspect you know it but fear that you'll lose control.
Do not let it happen user. We're all here trying, aching, begging to be in your position. Do your best to remember why you stopped, endeavour to remember that you're doing something which if you don't manage to maintain, you'll suffer in intensely horrific ways, the nature of which I imagine you're already familiar, and then at a young age, you will die.
This is not a trivial phenomenon and I think you know it. The suffering is fucking biblical. Not just for yourself but for your friends and family too.

R
U
N

I just bought 6 bottles of patron tequila silver for $60. How did I do?
>750 ml

>750ml

pussy

Nigger it was on sale from a nigger who looked like he stole the cases from somewhere and sold it to me quickly for some crack money.

then you should have haggled him down to £5/bottle instead of 10

>implying
So much implying I won't even try to imply
I believe I did well.

When one side is desperate for crack, you can always do better

Man you guys are the best. It's 5am and I Can't sleep but I'm Glad I found this Thread. I have no idea why my phone keeps capitalising words but in the short amount of time I've been here you guys have given me hope. I don't have any friends so it's nice to speak to people

Well look at this sanctimonious alchie!

fuck off alcy

booze addiction > crack addiction

Ok :(

And yet the W/D of the former is a serious health issue.

Withdrawal isn't a problem if you don't stop

nah I'm just kidding bro

chill out and have a beer with us

Pee Pee Fachina.

I don't drink anymore, since someone posted that alcy documentary a few weeks back

probably not an alcoholic but it's 2am and I'm hammered so why the fuck not

gobble gobble WT101 has got me fucked up. Jamming out to No Doubt right now.

That's fucking gross. You deserve better bro. You can get a fifth of Maker's Mark, Bulleit, Evan Williams or Wild Turkey 101 for under $20. Don't subject yourself to fireball.

Anyone here get major munchies when they drink? Currently drinking said patron and eating a whole pack of turkey bacon, carton of egg whites, shredded hash brown, and some breakfast sausage links.... Must equate to about 1800 calories.
>at least I didn't get the 40 pizza roll package(I can finish that alone; 1600 calories just for that bag and then some more food)

I was just snacking on tostitos so you're doing better than me. at least you got protein.

Bullshit. I've been addicted to crack, heroin and alcohol as well as other drugs and well, heroin I won't pretend is easy to stop, but a week in bed feeling like you've got flu, then you're done. Alcohol? A week in bed CONVINCED THAT SATAN AND ALL OF HIS MINIONS, TARANTULAS AND KALI HERSELF are sharing a bed with you, maasasyyyybbe just maybe you'll be free from alcohol. For a while. As for crack? Don't make me fucking laugh. Nothing. 2 days of sulking, fair enough; a lifetime of regret because your lungs are destroyed, but basically fuck all.
Alcohol is satans potent semen.

Yeah I spent $20 on my only meal of the day. I was so damn I hungry when I went shopping just a while ago I grabbed pizza rolls due to sheer salivating purposes only to look at the calories and found that the $3 bag was 1600 cals which I would finish ez on my own. Opted out for the breakfast dinner instead for a higher price.

I think i have alcoholic hepatitis, is my abdomen supposed to painfully protrude?

alright i'm a fifth of vodka in and i need to eat

i have a pork sandwich and a turkey sandwich from a bbq place, but i think i'll puke if eat both

pick one

nah brah, you're just fat

turkey now, pork when you wake up.

You got fatty liver, like Oliver Reed.

>smirnoffbro will never post again
F

Tonight I was drinking rum and imagining my life if I was a sailor. I once failed coast guard boot camp and it's been over a year yet I still have dreams about it. I've thought if I can get my shit together maybe I can join the merchant marines or something. I don't know why I admire the salty life. It's away from crowds of people on land I guess.
I've never had real rum before. I tried Kraken once but tonight I just bought some cheap Blackheart. I think the sweetness is too much for me, blech. I should have shelled out a few more bucks for Pusser Rum kek

A true hero

Yesterday I started my taper
>day 1:went down from about 1L to a single .750L
>Day 2:down from .750L to a bit over a half bottle (meant to drink a bit more but couldn't make it to liq on time)
Hopefully I'll be able to handle beer by the start of day 8. My body hurts too much to drink in quantity anymore. I feel like I'm gonna die soon.

>this is my last shot tonight
>15 mins later
>this is my last shot tonight
>repeat

Do we have news of cancerbro/medical MJ card bro who shat bloody ground coffee? He was supposed to have 2 months left with cancer but if he didn't get help with liver failure he's likely dead too.

Put a earplug in one of your ear.
No need to plug it to a phone, as long as it looks like you're on handless phone.

Vape Prime 15 by Halo. Or Tribeca.

>tfw you realised alcohol is so bad it's a legit argument in the existence of Satan (and thus God.)
Checkmate, atheist tweakers.

How much calories of ethanol do you consume daily?

Possibly. How painful? Do you eat?
Also, see a gastroenterologist.

youtube.com/watch?v=4uPZIG5BHD4
(Original in French with EN subtitles youtube.com/watch?v=n2kkr0e_dTQ )

That's a good start, congrats user.

>tfw gonna be puking bile all day tomorrow