ITT: Dumb things you do far too often in the kitchen

I try to do 3 things at once and I don't get the timing right so I have to shut off the burner on 2 pots and wait for the last one to catch up because it has a crucial step needed for the other two.

I do the same thing

>tear sauce package open
>throw the sauce into the bin and hold onto the torn off bit
>mfw

Veeky Forums IS AN ANIME BOARD

I tend to not wash dishes as I go and let my sink pile up sometimes. Other than that what could people possibly do if they aren't autistic

/r/ing that autism hat template

...

Reach into the oven to pull something out barehanded

A few days ago, I took a pan out of the oven with mitts on, put it on the stove, removed the cover, and stirred the contents. When I put the cover back on and was ready to put the pan back in the oven, I picked it up without mitts and put it back in the oven. Good thing my work made my hands so callused, the burning pain only lasted a few hours. Also, alcoholism.

Veeky Forums has boards just for anime

I don't know how to use this type of can opener. Last time I tried I got a permanent scar on my finger. I tell people it's from a workplace accident.

...

Excercise, sports that require a sense of space and concentration. After 5 years it becomes second nature.

Not me, but my wife. We don't have a microwave so when she reheats pizza she does it in the oven under the broiler and burns it. Every. Single. Time. Like what are you doing.

[spoiler]eat too much[/spoiler]

>22 years old
>still test the heat of a pan with my bare finger
>why do I keep doing this

>test the heat

why

To know if the pan is hot?
I don't understand the question

>anime
>it's not animated

kek, I bet Ja/ck/ has one of these

hover your hand overtop of it maybe?

Either it is isn't, or it is. If it isn't it will eventually become hot. I don't see the reason for checking

>not using an IR thermometer

I hope you burn your house down with you in it before you learn to breed

>actually believes you're taught how to breed

laughinggirls.jpg

>his parents couldn't afford prep school

>making pasta
>doesn't look enough in the pan
>add more
>five times too much pasta

I start making a dish and then decide that I want a side dish, but they both take different times to cook, so i then need to start quickly moving around the kitchen chopping and prepping shit while switching between tasks. My roomates get pissed when i do this because we have a small kitchen, and i just tell them to fuck off while I'm cooking and they can't use the sink or get to the laundry room.

>pic related

splash a few drops of water in it

>not knowing how to prep the bull by instinct

or just spit

it's simpler

Not that guy, but I am American and I place them in the fridge. When I lived in East Asia and Europe I did not do this. My understanding is that American eggs are treated with something that weakens the shells. Am I wrong or should I just go to ?

Set the toaster a second time just to get it a little bit darker, then forget to pop it out after a minute

>My understanding is that American eggs are treated with something that weakens the shells. Am I wrong
Close, they're just washed which removes the natural protective layer from the egg. To be honest I'd rather have washed eggs that need to be refrigerated considering that they come out of the same hole a chicken also uses to poop.

I have a strong fight reaction. Every time I burn myself I punch something, be it cupboards, windows or laptops :(

Im really sorry that i laughed. That sucks dude.

I... Is this a thing i didnt know? Do chicken eggs not come out of chicken vaginas?

chickens don't have vaginas

Same for me as long as I know it's not an actual dangerous situation. I was cooking a stew and it popped onto my face, didn't really hurt but it just made me mad and I swore at it. Recently though I accidentally superheated a mug of water in the microwave and when I went to move it, it exploded and I ran away from it.

Chickens only have one hole called a cloaca that is used for everything.

im pretty sure they eat with their beaks

no they're basically likelikes from zelda but with feathers

I always forget an ingredient or two which drastically changes the dish. Kind of easy to do when a dish has close to 20+ ingredients, but its still a stupid mistake.

..when i cook raw chicken i stick the tongs over the burner to sterilize them. I know its dumb.

> go to sink
>get finger wet
>flick water from finger onto pan
> if sizzle is ready

It actually looks like unwashed eggs are statistically slightly safer than washed eggs. What I would like is the choice. I go camping a lot and would love to take unrefrigerated eggs. If I want some, I have to get them from somewhere other than the grocery store.

if you are cooking with oil its best that the oil is hot first.

...

why

well fuck

>It actually looks like unwashed eggs are statistically slightly safer than washed eggs.
Source? I think in the EU they vaccinate chickens but not in the USA, so that could be the reason.

The oil doesn't soak into what you're frying as much as it would if it was cold. Also, if there is a flour coating...

why would you want the oil to be soaked in? I thought it was to not let whatever not get stuck in the pan?

poop

>tfw gf pops out to frighten her and you hit her with a discombobulate

A beak isn't a hole retard ists a beak

>reading comprehension

Reread what i said

Also yes, it helps shit not get stuck on a pan but it is mostly about heat transfer.

>grabbed knife by wrapping hand around blade
>forgot it wasn't sheathed

Mistakes like that only happen once

>should I just go to ?
No, you're right. If you're american you need to refrigerate them.

>I go camping a lot and would love to take unrefrigerated eggs
Eggs seem like a bad thing to keep in your backpack.

lol europeans eat autistic chickens

Occasionally I put milk in the cupboard instead of the fridge. This usually happens before my morning coffee.

nice

>yfw jack is a /sip/per

I will grab 90% of what I need from the fridge/pantry and then it takes 3 trips to the get last few ingredients.

I am physically incapable of opening a can of soda without using a spoon. I had a bad experience with it when I was 3 with a babysitter. Also thanks to the same babysitter I've developed a really retarded bad habit of pouring a cup of water and either dumping out the first "sip" or taking the first sip and dumping out the rest, and then refilling it. Also at some point I became really lazy and now I struggle to notice when water is pouring onto my chin and shirt because years of being a NEET means forgetting that other people will see me and wonder why the fuck this retard has a giant puddle of water on his shirt.

>situational awareness is affected by autism
TIL why I suck so bad at doing things like driving. I thought it was because of my perpetual dissociation. Maybe it's both.

But that's gross. You'll have a wet finger...You can't just wipe it off on your shirt, you'd have to wash your hands each time.

My problem is that my brain doesn't understand things quick enough. It's why I'm so bad at tennis.

Man I do the exact same thing JUST

>TIL

>put milk in cupboard
>put cereal in fridge

My restaurant is kind of stupid in certain areas, like we only have 2 rubber spatulas right now. So the stupidest thing I usually do in a day is misplace one of them.

>Waiting for the rice water to boil
>Check it a million times
>Still not boiling
>All right I'm giving it some time
>Check on it after a minute
>It's already been heavily boiling for who knows how long
I fucking need a pot with a camera inside

>not just getting a rice cooker

Stop the microwave at exactly 0:01 every time

The patrician way.

whenever i need a new microwave, i'm getting one where you can turn the beep off

goddamn my microwave makes me rage when i don't make it in time to stop it

slide the middle outstretched part below the lip of the can.
use leverage to push the pointed end into the can.
rotate the can
repeat

Today on Cooking with Co/ck/suckers, user discovers what happens to a watched pot. The results may shock you!

>dip finger in water
>flick water on pan
>judge heat by how quickly droplet evaporates

ya dingus

>not washing your hands repeatedly while cooking

The only thing he sips is Hellmann's

holy kek

Get on my level, n00b!

>Put something on the stove to boil.
>Head to bathroom to take a shit.
>Return to kitchen to check on food.
>Situational awareness kicks in.
>Realize I waddled over to the kitchen with my pants around my ankles.
>Realize I waddled over to the kitchen while still wiping my ass.
>Realize I am holding a piece of toilet paper with my own shit on it.
>Immediately return to bathroom to finish.
>Spend rest of day realizing that I just reached a new low.

cooking is srs bsns

You can touch the pan with a wet finger to hear the sizzle if you're quick enough. Or you can just drip water on it like a pussy.

Would an autistic chicken taste better than a neurotypical chicken?

I will piss myself in an autistic rage when I do this. Unlike this user I do not have callused hands and they blister like all fuck when I burn them.
>sear steak in nice new pan
>put in oven to finish
>take pan out of the oven with mitts
>proceed to attempt to pick up same pan barehanded and grip it completely 1 minute later
That little circle of sensetive skin between my thumb and index finger blistered like fuck, as well as part of my palm, and that was with my other arm being broken in a sling.
You know I was mad