>he doesn't have an executive gold star Costco membership™
>he isn't allowed to shop for groceries after midnight
>he doesn't have access to the all-you-can-eat free sample trolleys
>he doesn't have unlimited Costco bumper car vouchers
>he can't get his monthly check up, dental work and laser tattoo removal at one convenient location
What's your excuse?
This really hit home.
please go to /b/
thanks
I use Amex
I honestly love meeting the hot dog mascot and having him sign my hat with the Costco roller coaster logo on it (the wooden one, not the steel loop da loop next to paper goods). Guess I'm a kid ay heart...
Ummmm sorry sweetie, this thread is for executive good star members only
I have my gold star card right here.
>as much toilet paper as you can grab from the bathroom
>get to verbally abuse the employees
>allowed to take a bite out of whatever and just leave it
>roll up to the Costco around 1AM
>toss my keys to the valet, Jeff
>me and the lady notice there's a huge line of people that goes all the way around the Costco Hot Air Balloon Repair Center™
>"Don't sweat it, sweetcheeks"
>we walk past the entire line of low class third world immigrants and right up to the front door
>see Nick, the usual door guy, and we bump fists and I flash my gold star Costco membership™ card
>he lifts the velvet rope and we get our drank & buck fifty hot dog on
>doesn't slap my gf on the ass
b l e s s e d
>I'm in Iceland right now. Where they just opened a Costco.
>Not 4 hours ago my Icelandic wife and I went to get some groceries.
>I was starving and I wanted to eat.
>I saw the Pylsa for only 299kr (~$3) with a drink. For food prices here that's a fuckin steal
>"Tveir pylsur, takk fyrir" i spouted
>So I bought two of those fuckers and made sure they gave it to me with onions on that those bad bitches.
>They were heavy delicious fucks and I couldn't give a shit what anyone says otherwise.
>I didn't even know this was a meme. I don't usually even browse Veeky Forums, but the android app I use has Veeky Forums as the default board and I never changed it.
>God bless Costco and their delicious pylsur
>shopping at night
I think that's the only time pedophiles are allowed to shop in my state
I used to get funny looks when I went around the store, trying all the samples. Added up to a light free lunch most of the time. Fuck em, I paid for the membership.
How much is Costco paying you to shill all this shit?
Please post pic I was just in Iceland before it opened and wondered what the food court would be like
that all? why waste your membership?
>park in handicap zones with boat trailer attached
>rip half the meat department stock out of packages and dress up like Lady Gaga
>fuck employees and lesser members alike up the ass with poz dick, make them apologize to you for your inconvenience
>take an old lady's walker and use it to stab a veteran
>walk out the exit without cart inspection
what?
>tfw i get access to the manager's emergency zip line when i'm in a hurry and need to use the restroom
>tfw i go cannon balling into the women's restroom and kick down several stall dividers in the process
Theres so pretty high quality memery ITT
Lel
this feels suspiciously like kinoposting
definitely kinoposting.
>He didn't spend Saturdays as a kid riding the Costco Express through the hectares of in-store pastures where cows graze and produce milk for the mozzarella cheese on the food court's pizza
>He's never hung out and drank berry smoothies with the off-duty Costco crab catchers and dockworkers
>He has literally never set foot in a hot air balloon to take an in-store tour of the entire shopping facility
Fucking loling @ Veeky Forums's lives right now
This costcoposting is really starting to escalate.
I will when I go get groceries m80
Ah, Roberts cousin Nick!
Why doesn't Costco stock my condoms and lubes?
Trick question you are a virgin and a faggot.
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Those are kinda mutually exclusive, mostly.
because I'm not fat and don't need to join a club and pay $60 to eat hotdogs and pizza.
thanks for the (you) shithead
Who in the actual fuck are you talking to?
@9189555
you almost tricked me into giving you a (You)
nice trips though
Costco shoppers in the house tonight!
>tfw a poor and have to go to Sam's Club
They don't even petting zoo.
I hate all of you
Love you too sweetie
>he can't get his monthly check up, dental work and laser tattoo removal at one convenient location
American capitalism is weird.
"better" =/= "weird"
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I see you got Costco member-exclusive auto-reply as well. It really comes in handy
Jesus fucking christ, i dont know why I left the Costco Exec Gold anime forums to come here.
I should have known it would just be shit posting.
That sounds cozy. I'd love to hang out with some of my m8s in the Costco food court, munching on hot dogs and typing on discounted midline laptops. Something about the Kirkland umbrellas inside the warehouse makes me wanna build a pillow fort.
>he isn't allowed to park on the VIP helipad
>he isn't allowed to piss on pleb level customers from the sky
>not searching with a special gold google account that comes with Costco gold membership
no wonder you didn't find it.
>what is elite google
Sure is pleb in here
how do i into costo gold
>me rn
I actually just signed up for costco a couple of days ago based on the recommendation of some friends.
A lot of good stuff, but here are the problems I encountered:
poor pasta selection (only like whole grain spaghetti and macaroni-esque things?)
poor pasta sauce selection (no Newmans)
No Kombucha
No hot peppers? (did I somehow miss them?)
No Edensoy
No large unsweetened iced tea (black)
Potatoes only available in very large bags that no one buys so they are spuddy and greening and stuff.
I have no plans to buy any appliances or furniture (maybe a blender or food processor, but really very little) and so those sections are useless to me.
Possibly poor olive oil selection (didn't look promising, but I didn't check because I'm good for now)
At least that was my experience; might have just missed stuff. Still bought the potatoes here's hoping they don't go bad before I can down all 15lb of them.
>thinking you need a membership for the food court
best thing about cosco
Are you memeing?
Also, checked my man.
Pick related
>how to BTFO all of Europe with one picture
Iceland has Costco cunt :^]
Thiss.
Sounds cozy as fugg
no i am $100 serious
I mean some of that stuff I never expected it to have, anyway, but it still would be better for me if I didn't now need to split my shopping up into two different places.
>all I could afford is a BJs membership
they don't even offer poolside dining
Me on the left
Do they at least provide complimentary massage/spa services?
im intrigued by the implications of the fact that corporations are hiring memers to shill their products on a japanese hentai forum
>his costco doesn't have a gold star member access only publix inside it.
You're paranoid schizophrenia is showing, senpai
those are some nice quads, and only two numerals in all those digits,
Those jackasses change their store card from AmEx to VISA. I'm still pissed about that. I lost a card I'd had since 1997 (and they didn't back-date the replacement card) and, frankly, AmEx is fucking awesome. They're just a better company, period.
>kinoposting.
What's kinoposting?
Costco is not a grocery store. They keep their prices down by only provided a small selection of what sells well. The reason you can get $1.50 hotdog/coke combo is because they only serve, like, 7 fucking things at the entire food court as opposed to McDonald's menu of 50 or so. 80% of Kroger's stock is bullshit that rarely sells, but they have to stock it so those weirdos that do buy the stuff keep coming.
I think Aldi is the same principle. It's what Costco is. It's not a fault.
>paying to go grocery shopping
I mean it's a fault in that if it had those things it would be better, and so in comparison to my dream store where it has other things that I want it's a fault. I'm not trying to shit on the place; even with my grocery-centric shopping and their membership fee I should still end up saving money, which is what I'm interested in. I just wish, for instance, instead of "Silk" soymilk, they had edensoy, instead of 15lb potato bags they had 10lb (apparently they do at the one near my friend), etc.
>The year is 3000 AD
>Most if not all major political entities have fallen
>Corporations hold all the power
>Live in the Greater Wal-Mart Empire, ruled by the tyrannical Walton Dynasty
>Dream of one day escaping to the People's Republic of Costco, rumored to be a Utopia
>Parents are both lifelong Wal-Mart Greeters; they scoff at my idealistic notions, but I believe in the dream of Costco
>Finally manage to save up enough Bitcoins to afford the Costco Platinum™ Level Membership off the black market
>My father spotted me purchasing the membership
>He reports me to the nearest Church of Wal-Mart branch.
>I am branded as an Enemy of Sam and marked for elimination
>Escape out the back window of our Great Value™ Shack just as the first Death Squad burst down the door with the butts of their Sam's Choice™ Autorifles.
>They chase me into a back alley
>This is the end; what a fool I was for believing a Costco membership would do anything
>Just then the air above the alley begins to shimmer
>An enormous metallic hulk suddenly appears, the Costco logo glimmering prominently
>Hear an angelic voice in my head that says, "Greetings, honored Platinum™ Club Member. Do you require assistance?"
>All I can do is slowly nod; the Death Squad seems to be paralyzed by some invisible field
>"Fantastic!"
>The airship emits a strange glow; the Death Squad all drop to the ground, dead.
>I suddenly find myself in an impeccably clean room
>An unfathomably-beautiful woman approaches me.
>"Welcome aboard, honored member! Shall we proceed to the nearest Costco Pleasure Dome?"
>All I can do is nod
>Several years pass
>The Platinum™-level membership entitled me to Kirkland™ Signature™ Immortality Potions and Psychic Augmentations
>The Dome's Reality Enhancers™ allow me to bring my 2D anime waifu to life.
>Every day is spent in euphoric bliss; I have reached a level of happiness inconceivable to the average human
>All because I dared to believe in Costco against all odds
There really is no excuse.
I think we're gonna get a novel out of this, boys
...
the food court and rotisserie chickens are also a form of marketing for them. it's not just cheap because of the lesser variety, I'm sure they have lower margins.
They also pay employees well apparently
It depends. Like, american cheese and ziplock bags are about the same unit price as you'd find at a grocery store. On the other hand, they have average-size containers of green grapes for $8 that would be $2.50 at Public. You can't just assume Costco is always cheaper. But most stuff with a Kirkland label is a good deal, especially their meds/healthcare stuff.
Like, $18/hour or something crazy.
I would watch the movie, if this was the trailer.
>My first memories are running scared, knowing something was very wrong but not knowing what. Target employees chasing me through the aisles
>Started having deja vu and thought I'd finally lost my mind
>if you run far enough in the same direction you'll see the same aisle you saw before, with clones of the same people. realize the simulation is finite
>think I see an exit, run for it, through the metal detectors, and outside it's just the inside of another Target. keep running and running
>eventually meet up with some other rebels and get redpilled
>wake up in a tank covered in slime with plugs all over me. The plug and tank have a Target logo
My costco closes at 6 PM on the weekends, 8 on weekdays.
do you live in hell?
Not them, but the one near me closes at 8:30pm on weekdays and 6pm on the weekends and I live in Indiana. So, yes.
>$18/hour
>crazy
Write a book user i mean it
I'd rather write long-winded, unnecessary shitposts, to be quite honest.
No problems i would still read them
because i'm not a nigger who needs to buy a crate of grape drank every month
>tfw the Costco falcon ate my 1.50 marinara mac n cheese
Ancap: The Post
We don't pay 85% income tax and 99% tax on every other product we buy, $18/hr is a pretty fucking good wage if you don't live somewhere stupid like SF or NYC
Just imagine how cheap those Kirkland Signature brand hot dogs and free drink (with refill) would be.
They let me use that once, but it was a real emergency.
didn't make it
stream of yellow bile all along the floor of the armored personel carrier section
>have EXECUTIVE gold star membership
>can go on spree shootings of lower class gold members any time I want
when will they learn?
$18/hour for being a fucking cashier or cart-pusher is pretty damn good.
Does anyone have a price on how much their bulk multivitamins are?
>airline overbooked a flight I was taking to Costa Rica
>got upgraded to Kirkland Signature class
>spent most of the flight flushing copies of Minions on blu-ray down the executive toilet
>everyone got their own in-flight rotisserie chicken
>received free cybernetic augmentations in the Kirkland Medbay
>they even let me fly the plane for a few minutes
>tfw the flight was better than the vacation itself
>spent most of the flight flushing copies of Minions on blu-ray down the executive toilet
Fuck why is that so funny
>shootings of lower class gold members
we ARE the most dangerous game
Gold star is the lowest rung of Costco membership.
no Costco member detected.
>reading comprehension
it clearly says
>EXECUTIVE gold star Costco membership™
not just anyone can get these. there's supposed to only be like 200 of them in the entire world. i'd post a pic of mine but it's illegal to scan or make copies of my card and the hot dogs are too good.
>>I am branded as an Enemy of Sam and marked as defective produce
>Kirkland Signature Daily Multi - 500 Tablets
>$19.04