Is this an extra long cheeseburger or is it a sandwich?

...

Furthermore, what makes that a burger but this a sandwich? The fact that it's chicken and not beef? Even though hamburger implies it's ham? Are hamburgers sandwiches? Are chicken sandwiches hamburgers? Does the size determine what a sandwich is? Or does the meat determine it?

yes

>Even though hamburger implies it's ham
also implies it's a burger. therefore it's a burger you twat.

And finally, are tacos sandwiches? What about ice cream sandwiches? Are those burgers? Or are they sandwiches? Or are they neither? Can a Pop-Tart count as a sandwich? What about a hot dog between two buns? Is that a sandwich or is it a catch-all "hot dog"?

But what part makes it a burger?

Hamburger = hamburg steak sandwich
Cheeseburger = hamburg steak sandwich with cheese

Traditionally, hamburg steak is a beef patty served with gravy and vegetables, but they naturally decided to ditch the other shit when it was first put on a bun.

Okay, with that in mind, then is an extra long cheeseburger still a burger, or has it become a sub?

A sub is a sub-species (no pun intended) of sandwich. Burgers, mcchickens, subs, hoagies, etc all fall under the umbrella term of "sandwich," and the word "sandwich" is dropped off the end of the name of a food if its redundant (you dont need the word "sandwich" at the end of "sub" or "burger" because theyve become so common that everyone knows what they mean on their own.) Sorta like the many sub-species of hermit crabs.

By extension, a hot dug is a sandwich then, right?

Depends on who you ask. In my opinion, throwing hot dogs into the same basket as the other sandwiches derides the indomitable spirit and divine individuality of the hot dog.

>indomitable spirit and divine individuality of the hot dog

burgers are sandwiches

One can stack countless burger patties and gallons of heart-clogging condiments into a bun, but the same cannot be said about the hotdog. Burgers are expendable, impulsive, unbridled gluttony and avarice personified. But within the hotdog there lies a fragile balance, a certain cosmic order that must be satisfied. The humble bun, integral yet not inedible, must deliver both structure and softness, embracing the dog like a mother would caress a child in its folded foundation. The dog itself must be tender, juicy, and savory, but also provide warmth and a neutral backdrop to let the condiments perform their divine comedy; the dog is the infinite majestic darkness of the universe through which the condiment stars shine. And the condiments themselves cut through with a choir of stellar sweets, acids, tangs, and brines; but a choir with too many singers deafens, and a night sky with too many stars blinds, so the hot dog masters the eternal dance of culinary nirvana with just a few steps, limitless but not without limits. We mere men have discovered countless ways to perform this dance, much in the same way a trumpeter may play a myriad of melodies with his instrument. But it begs the question; does he truly play, or is he merely the lung with which the trumpet sings?

what kind of gravy would you put on a burg

Whatever this shit is

The XL cheeseburger is alright, given that it's just 2 patties laid side by side.
The fucking chicken sandwich is just foul. The one I got was literally dripping with oil, and the meat itself was loose chunks of chicken barely held together by the soggy breading. There's no way that that's SUPPOSED to be how it tastes, but I'm honestly scared to try it again.
Then again, going to a place called BURGER king and getting chicken is like going to a Chinese restaurant and getting macaroni and cheese.

sounds like it has potential

They're whatever our corporate overlords tell us they are. It's that simple.

Every fucking burger place in the States has at least one or two variations on the chicken sandwich.

The issue here is that Burger King is foul, and I've begun to realize it's because the corporate standards have slipped. I used to think it was just my store that was awful, but now I'm convinced it's the entire corporation.

the burger patty

>sorta like the many sub-species of hermit crabs
Hermit, is that you? Hello my crab friend, has your rich father died yet?

everywhere other than north america a hamburger is called a hamburger sandwich

foods really fall into a couple different categories - those are salads, calzones, and sandwiches. there are exceptions. I also may be forgetting a couple.

if the "breading" totally encompasses the food, then it's a calzone. If there are openings, then that makes it a sandwich. For instance, chicken tenders are actually a calzone - it's breading surrounding a filling (in this case chicken). A taco, a burger, a pizza - these are all sandwiches. PIzza being an open faced sandwich. However, as soon as a the outer shell surrounds it, it becomes a calzone.

Something like spaghetti or french fries with ketchup falls into the salad category. But, I would argue that if the fries are battered then they become miniature calzones.

It's a side-by-side double cheeseburger sandwich.

This. Hamburger is ground beef.

Pudgie Burger Sub Sandwich