Would this make a good date night meal with my girl?

You are trying too hard. She will most likely cuck your ass. Not even memeing.

>cuck your ass
What does that mean? She'll use her strapon to fuck Jamal's ass instead of yours?

I can literally hear her vagina drying up from here

shes going to bring up using a strap on you if you pull this fag shit

>Bagels and lox on bread
unless she's violently antisemitic just put it on a bagel where it belongs

>itty bitty tapas
>simple soup
you're gonna try and plow her ass, aren't you?

just cook the bitch some steak, impress her with grill skillz and do up some loaded baked potatoes or something, if you try to go too classy it'll make you seem too effeminate.

Sounds good. She'll think you're more in touch with your feminine side which the modern woman is looking for. Women want a man who is secure enough to let go of the anachronistic macho stereotype, let his hair down and relate on a deeper emotional level. I predict success in your effort to bed.

What kind of fucking post is this

can't understand nu-male jargon?
outlook not good for your laying attempts

No dude that looks gay as fuck, if you bring that shit out she will most definitely think you're a secret homo (very likely anyway) and just friend zone you.

Are you planning on coming out of the closet to her? Sounds like just the food for the occasion.

Nigga that's an entree not a dish. Just go for make your own shit like fajitas/wraps or sushi, makes the dinner more fun and hands on. Get some sweet/half dry white wine.

Give her a couple corn dogs and a bag of chips and a Colt 45. If she isn't okay with it, she's not a keeper.

So you're saying if you don't submit to fagdom, you're a loser and don't deserve to find a decent woman? Because if you're not like the leftists that are destroying everything in the interest of "progress", you're less of a human and are morally inferior?
Fuck it, OP. Do what (((they))) want you to and make yourself a feminine little bitch and find a bull dyke that wants you to impregnate her and then take your kid that she can raise to be brainwashed and out of touch with reality. I'd say go with penis shaped rainbow cakes studded with hormone pills and pain killers.

don't fucking pussy out on good food because it's smelly, jesus christ what is this finishing school

as long as the food doesn't stink up the whole house or make you both bloated anything goes afaic

it's not rocket surgery. just do food that makes you look like an adult who is comfortable with cooking, doesn't eat like a pig and isn't trying too hard. even if you fail at those criteria as long as it's good food i doubt you'll have any problems

first meal i've cooked for gfs in the past has generally been in their house so i just used what they have or asked them to pick ingredients for me so i could do ready steady cook. a sense of spontaneity is good.

Dude. Trying WAY too hard. You're gonna come off as desperate.

Honestly I'd buy a couple steaks and then after picking her up tell her while you grill them make her prepare the sides. Women are adult children children you can legally fuck and tell what to do.

t. Married 6 years

>I knocked up the first girl I had sex with, let me tell you about life

>putting some shit on bread and making soup
>trying WAY too hard

>Implying I didn't have hookers first

My wife is just the first consensual woman. Seriously that's trying too hard tho, that is what OP is doing. Women don't like that.

I think he's half right. If he has to make a 5 star meal for a first date, what's he going to do for a 1 year anniversary, or 5 year for that matter? If you can make anything a little upscaled or classy, but he either likes the girl too much for having not even dated her yet, or she is probably way out of his league and trying way to hard.

If you arrange it like a try hard faggot it is.

>marrying the first non-hooked you had sex with
Holy shit this is beyond my capacity to fabricate imaginary levels of pathetic. Congrats dude for one-upping my straw man.

Looks pretty good but make sure to make enough for a meal. Maybe make a side salad and try it on a bagel instead of toast, since it's more filling that way and goes better with the texture of the salmon.

I had this at a restaurant on a bagel once and it was heaven, although I picked off the capers cause capers taste like ass. They even shaped the salmon into a rose. I have a picture of it somewhere but I don't feel like searching for it so here's a less fancy version off the internet.

Nm. I didn't reread the OP since last night and assumed it was first date.

You took me seriously? Someone needs to have a class to transition people from Reddit. Sarcasm 101, take it next semester.

> 5 star meal for a first date

it's literally like 20 minutes of work and not even expensive (especially compared to shelling out for steak).

why the fuck are you acting like it's fancy?

then maybe you should've waited til he said something about arranging it like a try hard faggot.

you could arrange kraft dinner like a try hard faggot.

>I was only pretending to be retarded
You were pretending, but not "only" pretending

>Pretending

Sure.

He's on Veeky Forums asking about what to make for his date. That's trying way too hard. He's trying to sell this woman an image of himself. Look at me, I can cook, I'm sophisticated, I'm this I'm that.
The real answer should be cook whatever the fuck you have left in the fridge. The girl should be grateful and show appreciation that somebody is feeding her. If you allow yourself to be her bitch, it doesn't matter if you cook up 3 star michelin meal, she will still treat you like a bitch.

>le PuA 'default position of withholding attention and favourable treatment from women' meme

you do realise people like you are trying farrrrrrr more hard to reconstruct your self-image than some guy who's just making a nice meal to share with a lass right.

>why the fuck are you acting like it's fancy?

A lot of people here were raised in households with zero cooking skill. To those people anything fancier than hitting the drive-thru or microwaving something frozen is automatically super complicated and fancy.

use a fucking plate reeeeeee

What are you talking about you fucking idiot? Demanding respect = withholding attention?

OP, make risotto with some shrimp.
Also get a few bottles of wine and you're golden my friend.

why do you have to demand respect by sanctioning your girlfriend? is it because it's not readily forthcoming and you're hugely misguided about how respect is earned?

>reddit spacing
>classy

You are a moron and a numale. Stop making up bullshit and putting them in my mouth.

>don't give that bitch an inch
>if all you've got in the fridge is half a can of sweetcorn and a frube, she's eating a quarter of a can of sweetcorn and half a frube and she's fucking lucky she gets that much the roastie bitch REEEEE

I was going to comment that it might be too masculine a meal for a date night, given the strong flavors, but I see others have already called you a fag, so I guess my perspective is not the general consensus.

I'm lucky enough to have a girl who bakes that kind of bread and is into strong flavors like smoked fish and raw onion. We do tartines like that pretty often, usually accompanied with beer and pickles. Awesome food.

Ask her if she's into it.

Jesus millennials are fucking insufferable. You are not interested in having a conversation, just arguments. Literally kill yourself.

says the incel armchair disciplinarian who bandies about terms like 'numale' because you've never been a respectable enough human being to get a girlfriend who doesn't seem to require conditioning like a child or pet

>literally white knighting with no woman in sight

>literally launching into a victorian diatribe on the frail and unappreciative tabula rasa that is woman with no woman in sight

Don't be a fag OP. Give her a big ol' cock meat sandwich

this guy can read a sucker

you know what he's talking about you cheeky little freak

or boxes of wine tbf

I never said anything about withholding attention you eejit.