UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA

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An attendant has been notified to assist you.

>Buy $50 in avocados
>Ring it up as bananas
>Pay only $7
I can't believe this shit still works

u-um excuse me... i-it keeps saying this...

these fucking things

I stopped going to wal-mart like two years ago after it became obvious they were trying to corral customers into using them so they wouldn't have to pay as many cashiers

it usually gets cleared without anyone ever coming to look. you can steal all sorts of shit

unless you're black

I'm always scared to try this. In white so I can probabaly get away with it but I'm a very bad liar and I make it so obvious when in doing something bad through my body language.

Scan first item
>please wait, an associate has been notified

PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE

Im with you. Its possible to be caught every time. Every time I go to an HEB there's always a police cruiser out front. Not worth going to jail, court, fees, community service, criminal record

Walmart cashiers have a monitor that shows what each terminal is purchasing. Obviously they will get suspicious if they see "Bananas" rang in 30 times but no one has 30 bananas.

Whenever I wanna get rid of my change, I'll go to one of these self check-outs with the bucket coin slot, buy something for 50 bucks, dump all my change in it, then immediately return the item to get my money back in big bills.

Or you could, you know, take it to your bank for the same goddamn thing with less steps

do you really think someone that stupid has a bank account?

Just pretend you are incompetent if caught

>Buying Stridex Pads to combat horrible facial acne
>Incredibly self-conscious about appearance
>Go to self-checkout to avoid interaction with cashier
>Have coupon and scan it
>"An attendant will come to assist you shortly."
>mfw

Why not buy stuff you want so you don't need to return it? Does your mom buy all the groceries?

...

>scan some alcohol
>THIS ITEM NEEDS APPROVAL
>fat 50 something bitch comes over, eyes me for several seconds, then grudgingly presses the "over 25" button

Man I tried to buy dog food (for myself) at self checkout one day. Bunch of bullshit-- the computer said "Please verify your dog's name." Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? Why should I be accosted to inform the big corporation of whether I have a dog or not? Ridiculous!

Stop washing your head and eat whole plant foods. If you're not fat, all you really need to do is keep your butthole clean and shaved and wipe and apply deodorant to your pits before you go anywhere. The rest of your skin will reach an inoffensive equilibrium and stay there indifinitely. I haven't washed my hair since 2016, haven't showered for weeks, and I still have a bf. I think I'll wash below the waist and shave my butthole today. More stray hairs from my head collect there when there's hair for them to catch on and it's really annoying.

the same teenage girl that flirts with me works the self checkout on weekend nights so I always get groceries when she works since I can get away with sneaking tons of shit through and she just rings it through

horrid post

I bet you also think having GRIDS is ok because you can just take anti-retrovirals to stave it off for a few years

faggot

>buying panties in secret
>ERROR, PLEASE SEE ATTENDANT

What do you do?

I've never had sex before seeing negative test results and always use a condor anyway.

I've always ordered online. Why do panties fit my male butt so much better? I'd wear them regularly if they had more room in the front.

>I haven't washed my hair since 2016, haven't showered for weeks

You are fucking disgusting

>and always use a condor anyway.

Good on you lad, I've used a condor every time for years now and have never gotten a disease

Yes me agree

Why the fuck would I want to go in a cashiers line when I can do that shit myself, no interaction, and leave.

why not just stay in your little cocoon and have groceries delivered to your NEET cave you fucking faggot

bf doesn't seem to think so. Neither to some autistic tabletop gamers who can't tell a white lie. And my hair no longer looks like shit. Frequent washing is self-necessitating because skin is a reactive organ and only pumps out a bunch of sebum when it's constantly being stripped.

self checkout is really annoying when buying a bunch of produce. Do you also avoid farmer's's's's's' markets where you can buy bundles of basil from cute shotas?

What's disgusting is that you haven't showered in two weeks. The fact that nobody in the pig-pen notices your stench and filth doesn't change a thing.

I always mute the thing right away and revel in my superiority the whole time I'm checking out.

PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAG

It hasn't caused me the slightest inconvenience and spares me the stress of standing in the shower where I could be ambushed. I clean my butthole in front of a mirror after every poop.

Fuckin pig

youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pmMZDko60

>stress of showering
I love my morning shower. You know what would stress me out? Cleaning my asshole in front of the mirror like some kafkaesque mental patient

That shit is for dumb faggot people who don't know how expensive it is to live like that. The store will not kill you if you go in it and you won't get ass raped with delivery prices

>kafkaesque

You're not going to be there for 5 hours scanning. At most you have an additional 3 minutes. Stop being a bunch of whiney girls about every autistic thing.

Flyover honkies don't wash their butts in the shower. They just park their head under it and pretend that causes everything else to wash itself. And then they leave a trail of fecal residue everywhere they go.

are you posting from prison

>bf
you're either a grill or gay, and there's no grills on Veeky Forums, fag

how would you wash your butt besides just letting water run between your crack? do you wipe between your ass with your bare hand like a sand nigger?

>there's no grills on Veeky Forums

You what now? Maybe trying to lurk more next time.

Put some soap on your hand and rub between the crack. Get that thing squeaky clean what the hell is wrong with you

non-flyovers have their showerheads on hoses for more thorough and efficient washing down there. Yes, I use my hand and soap after an initial thorough rinse. Then I scrub that hand with that hand. Then I use both hands to wash it and move onto other stuff.

Flyover honkies are so afraid of their butts they can't even wash them properly.

I'd rather not get poop germs all over my hand

don't do something stupid like bananas as avocados.

avocados as limes would work better.

organic heirloom tomatoes as regular tomatoes

remember to pay in cash

>come to usa as a j1 student to work
>decide food is too expensive
>fuck it
>100 bucks worth of food in a cart
>scan every item
>notpayingforitlol.jpg
>swipe my card to make it look real
>cancel purchase
>fucking nigger machine starts beeping and telling me to wait for assistance
>get my ass out asap with all the food
Im scared to go back

>what the hell is wrong with you
You're not allowed to say that, you're the fucking weird one.

>how would you wash your butt besides just letting water run between your crack

Are you actually this desperate for (you)'s, or do you actually not regularly wash the dirtiest part of your body?

Scrub your ass you filthy pleb

I usually use baby wipes after I take a shit so I don't really see the need to give myself a fucking enema unlike some of the queers here

...

>being scared to touch a part of your own body

Or maybe you just can't reach it?

I bet you swirl your finger around inside your anus so there's no chance of any poopie slipping out throughout the day

freak

Shit I used to do that too but now it seems all the self checkouts in my city are credit/debit only and you now have to get jewed by Coinstar fees.

>online bank account
>no physical branches
>take my change to another bank
>"Yes we can convert your change... for 10% of the value"

Goddamn dude seriously get the fuck out of my country

>Veeky Forums - Butthole Hygiene

What the fuck dude. It's not hard. Use that account as your main account and open an account with your local credit union. That way you have an account with a local brick and mortar branch, you have access to their credit union products, and you can still keep the account with your online only bank. I bank primarily with Navy Federal Credit Union. Unfortunately the closest branch is 65 miles away. I keep them because they have incredible banking products. I also have an account with my local credit union. They basically compete with each other for my loan and credit needs. Best of both worlds.

>i bet you swirl your finger around inside your anus

Typically, yeah.

>so there's no chance of any poopie slipping out throughout the day

That's not how it works, dum dum. You're on an adult board; lurk more or grow up.

Kek yeah the machine is the nigger in this situation

Go get free sikh lunch if you're that poor.

nigga are you telling this thread that you've never washed that nasty ass of yours what the fuck is wrong with you

do you have OCD? it gets clean enough as soap runs down your back and between your ass cheeks

Saaauce youtu.be/ZrAfMDAqzLg

no, no it doesnt

so what do you recommend? a foot-long enema?

ahaha... yea... i was wanting to pay for those haha...

dis nigga definitely lives in jail

This what straight guys here in Minnesota believe, so I don't allow them in my home.

>I'm standing around patiently waiting to be assisted
>The tard behind me in dirty greasy hoodie and ripped sweatpants starts raging
>EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME
>Attendant is clearly helping someone else at the time

Don't we all? ;)

please die

Do you also not wash your hands after you take a shit because you're afraid that the poop particles might get transferred from one hand to the other in the process?

I wash my hands because I don't want to walk around getting fecal matter all over everything

unless you take super hot showers or something it isn't sanitary to be digging around in your ass just because you think your top might start wearing a raincoat if he notices shit on his dick

>buying four boxes of pasta stuffed with various meats, cheeses and vegetables because they're marked 50% off due to near expiry
>self checkout babysitter has to ring them through fot me
>she fucks up and rings $20 worth of pasta through for $2.50 because she only scanned one before adding the 50% off
>pay and leave

>designated shitting garments

...

Is that shadbase?

Gays can be so disgusting. Ffs.

That's a good idea, but I've never really found myself in the need for a physical branch (that is, except for the change). Maybe that will change once I decide to apply for credit/mortgage, etc. Thanks for the tip though.

youtube.com/watch?v=p69XxYjfx-k

>tfw some moron has left it in admin mode and you get to approve your own age

>ATTACK!

>Some fat bitch brings their cart into the self service queue and leaves it right in the middle of the floor and lets her retard spawn scream and run around all over the place.

I pushed it way down the end of the line. Had headphones in but I could hear her yelling something. Cunt.

you have a lot to learn mein neger

...

>Wageslave for Sam's Club
>They put in Self Checkouts like 3 years ago
>Theres no podium/screen for the attendent like at every orher store on earth so i have to actually stand around and hover over people while they scan their shit.
>People get upset at me cause they naturally assume that I think theyre trying to steal shit when I dont give a fuck and am just trying to make it look like I'm working

Yes

>seems to happen when you leave the bags there

Do they just expect me to dump the groceries on the floor? The fuck's the point of this?

Wtf is this board anymore

This entire site is the same shit with a different theme. It has been for ages.

Summer. It's the /b/tard overflow. Thank god school starts back up in a month.