Faggot tries to make food for a girl he wants to fuck

imo a well cooked salmon with some sort of light pasta is quick easy and always impresses. What sort of stuff is she into?

> (You)
She is a total country grill, so her pallet is pretty small. I've shocked her senses with Sushi from a Japanese place I live near, and an excellent stir fry place. She does have a fondness for meaty foods, she especially likes steak, but I've taken her out for steak so many times.

Are you the high school faggot who posted this same thread yesterday?

While I am a faggot, I didn't make a post like this yesterday nor I am in high school.

if you weren't a faggot she would be trying to impress you with her cooking. maybe you should serve her your pants sausage.

The power of my faggotry is absolute and unbeatable.

Yes you did, faggot, and you openly admitted that you're in high school. Sage.

Make some good tacos. Still meaty, not as plain as having steak, and not as exotic as carpaccio

I have made it a couple of times, it doesn't need much because salmon is so tender! 10-15 min and serve! Kale is a good idea, you can cut it with your fingers in pieces that are comfortable to eat in a bite, like 1 inch, no knifes because the plants tend to die more quickly... for the salad you can mix olive oil and a little of vinegar(I rather to use balsamic) be careful, you don't want it too sour, as always salt and pepper to taste! Kale and little cherry tomatoe cut in halfs mix it up softly... you can also use butter lettuce

>
>I know she browses Veeky Forums fairly often.
ABORT, ABORT

I fail to see the problem. Besides having the normal superiority complex the rest of us have, she is pretty normal.

No matter what you make, make sure you use some of you cum in your recipe. That way if she's not impressed, you still got to your nut inside the bitch.

This faggot obviously doesn't have the knife skills, please spare him. Help the dude actually get laid.

Nobody actually likes kale, dude. Just go with arugula or micro greens. Literally anything other than iceberg lettuce. Maybe cherry tomatoes, pecans, something crunchy like carrot slices. Don't overthink it. And don't make your own dressing unless you now what youre doing.

Basically dude, Your plate needs to have 3 things: A protein (chicken, fish, steak), a vegetable (asparagus, broccoli, Cauliflower), and a starch (garlic bread, potato, pasta is always good). Salad is always a good starter. Don't overthink it. If you start with a salad and manage to get the big 3 on the plate at roughly the same time, she will think you're a God.

Just look up youtube or recipes for each of those items and figure out your timing of when you need to start each one so that they all finish at the same time and you're golden. The quicker the cook time the better, you don't want to be fucking about in the kitchen while she's squirming on the couch. Just be casual, say "are you hungry? I am. I think I'll whip something up". And then have it ready in 15 minutes, no longer. If you have a bunch of shit all ready to go it won't seem spontaneous. Trust me dawg.

You are right in the assumption I don't have knife skills. About killed myself a little over a month ago when trying to make sashimi, knife slipped and I cut the space between my thumb and my index finger. This is surprisingly helpful, thank you. I genuinely like kale, but if its a rare thing to like, then it would be safer if I didn't serve that. I make excellent chicken fried rice, and if I do the prep the night before I can get it on the plate in about ten minutes. I normally assault it with minced/diced greens, but I suppose in addition to that I could serve it with some steamed broccoli with a light sour-ish sauce. For protein, I know how to grill salmon fairly well. Does that sound like it would work, or have I messed up at some point?

I know from experience serving cum in a dish never works.

storytime?

Story time!

You have the right idea. Rice takes care of your starch. For presentation purposes you probably want to keep the fish filet/chicken whole and place it on top of the rice. If you are comfortable with the flavors in your chicken/rice combo, no need to overthink it, just grill/saute the whole breast instead of chopping it and stir frying it. Sounds like you're going for kind of an asian flavor? Go with broccoli for your veg (ideally with a little bit of garlic or onion sauteed with it). If you're trying to make the plate look sexy, DON'T mix the shit together like you would do if you were cooking for yourself. Bed of rice, chicken on top of that, veg off to the side. You can do whatever you want in terms of plating with the sauce; you don't want the broccoli to be dry (get butter, salt + pepper on it at the very least).

And yeah for real it's great that you like kale, it's healthy, but many people don't like it. Don't take the risk. Better with romaine/butter lettuce, arugula, or mixed/micro greens. Look at some youtube videos and don't overthink it.

If you don't have enough pans to do everything on the range at once, you can always put your veg with the fat of your choice on a tray (use foil for easy clean up) with salt and pepper and roast for 10-15 minutes. It will also go faster if you drop the broccoli in salted boiling water for no more than 2 minutes before draining and then transferring to the oven.

I'm going to bed soon but if you got any more questions I'll try to help.

so fucking sick of these blogposts

if you have to rely on Veeky Forums for absolutely anything you're already fucked.

also:

I was about 18, had just graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA. My gal pal at the time who I was actively trying to fuck asked to come over to have some of my brownies to celebrate. Now, these brownies were no ordinary brownies; it took time to make "teeth smashers" as I call them. Basically what it amounts to is that I make a fudge mixture, put it in squiggly lines in a greased brownie tin and freeze it solid. Then I just scoop it out. I take the brownie mix, pour half of it in, place the frozen fudge squiggle in, and pour the rest on top, and I top it with white chocolate chips before baking. Ah, but this time I was horny; I decided I would add a little extra ingredient to the fudge: baby gravy. I had received nude photos of her accidently, and beat off before making the fudge. But before I had came, a devious idea had embedded itself in to my horny mind: A small, angelic voice spoke to me : "nut in the fudge faggot" and I crept downstairs and did just that. Well, what I actually did was come in to a Tupperware container and mixed it in with the fudge later, but same difference. Next day after freezing though, I saw little white strands in the fudge: I had not mixed it in properly, but it was too late to make new fudge, and I did not want to disappoint her with normal faggot brownies, so I continued to make it the way I normally do. They were still hot out of the oven when she arrived, and I was just finishing cutting them up in to little squares and topping them with whipped cream. After greeting each other she smelled the familiar, sweet chocolatey odor radiating from my brownies, and promptly took a bite. I could see the expression on her face go from happiness to disgust, as she spit out the brownie on to the plate. "W-Whats in this?" "You do not want to know. I fucked up the fudge, and tried to substitute it with..." my mind drew a blank. "Coconut oil." A lie. She looked disappointed, but she believed me. We are still friends to this day.

>she

You took her out for food multiple times but have yet to have sex? Bet you paid every time too , huh?

We have been friends for a long time, just I suddenly realized I want to destroy her asshole a few days ago.