And there in the lawless backwaters of the internet, I found a community that spoke out to me in pure contempt. A crazy...

And there in the lawless backwaters of the internet, I found a community that spoke out to me in pure contempt. A crazy, anarchist pseudo-state that would leave even the maddest of dictators scratching their heads. They goaded me to participate in their ritual "shitposting", or else I was to be cast out as a "redditor" never to return. So being the simple New York boy that I am, I posted McChicken threads, and Jack threads and even tried my hand at Vegan bait threads until I could shitpost no more. While my time here was short, I caught a glimpse of the human condition that only the Da Vinci's of this world were able to capture. A testament to the fortitude of the human spirit, I returned home with a newfound appreciation of the unique and bizarre, and one hell of a hangover. Like they always say... bada bing, bada boom.

;)

Except the redditors are the ones forcing the McChicken and sopa de macao memes.

Bourdain is such a hack.

i hate anthony but i also love anthony

This

He's the type of person I want to hate (smug, pretentious, extremely liberal new yorker) but there's something about him that just charms me. Maybe it's the fact that he's just such a walking caricature that I can't take him seriously.

I'd let Anthony toss my salad

I'd let Tony look through my bins for scraps

is this professional cuck the king of Veeky Forums?

>Tony "Fuck My Wife, Please" Bourdain
His older stuff is pretty aesthetic, but I hate his poverty-porn episodes where he pretends like a bunch of savages boiling a goat is haute cuisine

How did he get cucked?

You guys know that if you type cuck, you announce yourself as an adolescent child millenial piece of shit" right? Say Meme, kino, cuck or pepe, you are a fucking giant piece of shit with normal people.

t. Anthony Bourdain

>be him
>bitchy euro wife wants personal trainer
>she gets #blacked by pt and his niggas
>she leaves him niggas.

That's a pretty damn good imitation user, well done.

This is exactly how I feel about him. I want to smack his cynical smug face but I respect him in an odd way. Like the way you respect a circus freak.

Bourdain reminds me of my late teens but he's in his sixties.

Depressed and angry people hate someone who shed their depressed and angry phase because it says "Why can't I do it?!"

You people are onion skin.

9/10

His politics suck, but he's a talented writer, makes amazing television, and has one of the best voice-overs in the biz.

> be him
> educated, well traveled individual
>know the risk of marrying a thottie
I think he is alright by now.

>smug, pretentious, extremely liberal new yorker
This is me, but I don't consider it the least bit pretentious because I live in NYC, so it's just par for the course. And I'm very happy for Tony, pulling off a better career as a celebrity than he ever did as a chef. Good for him.

Kek m8 I read that in his voice

I own a thesaurus: The tv personality

I'd let anthony slowly, and gently, scramble my eggs.

>I hate his poverty-porn episodes where he pretends like a bunch of savages boiling a goat is haute cuisine
Yus. Bland meat boiled in a pot is not interesting. At all.

Wow lmao, coasties care to explain yourselves?

There is some truth to his food aesthetic, though. Poor people use their ingenuity to make whatever they can get into something delicious. Rich people go out to eat at restaurants that serve delicious. It's the people in the middle who are usually eating the least tasty food, because their choices are often shaped by other factors, like convenience, advertising and faddish ideas about what's healthy.

as a recovering heroin addict who aspires to be a hack travel writer, Bourdain is an inspiration

the dude still looks like a gremlin styled by Steven Van Zandt though, and he talks like a street-corner Bronx whore who went to community college

wa la

10/10

Read it in his voice, prose and diction are accurate

Well played OP, I heard it

cool story cuck

>i dont like it
> must be that damnes reddit again

Reddit takes memes and runs them into the ground. They post for le ebin screen caps on r/Veeky Forums. Guarantee they are the ones forcing the memes for fake internet points.

that's not even the half of it. Anyone who does bjj in new york has fucked his wife,
They train at renzos, and she's a total bjjslut. I've personally been in a room with 5 other guys talking about fucking his wife while he's out of town.

I don't know if it was an arrangement he was alright with or if it's just something she did to get her needs met, but if you can tap her, then you can tap ;) her

There are just as many people who just spout memes because they think they're funny and have no ulterior motive.

holy shit please go back there, no one gives a shit

>implying
Plenty of people give a shit.

Yeah we call them redditors.

No, no one fucking cares about how people use memes or anything. No one except autists like you.

I would also like her to give me a bjj

The bada bing bada boom topped it off perfectly

that's because plenty of people - yourself included - came here after gamergate and constantly need to tell everyone they're totally not newfags

I think I am allowed to call myself an oldfag since I've been shitposting here for 11 years now, take it from me: I'm tired of your shit, I don't think more of you for having been here all summer, and usually I can tell who the newfags are because they're the ones constantly shrieking "nigger" and then hammering F5 until someone replies and tells you to fuck off so you can go "durr durr go back to le rebbit look at me I'm so anonymous"

thread hidden

>autists
Pic related

I've been here since 2011, all the goobergaters left to infinitechan.

Jesus. Nobody gives a shit about you. if you need validation so badly get a fucking tripcode.

Hit a nerve, reddit?

haha wow, omg I read that whole thing in this voice!
ong...wow

nice job there user, sorry, I must leave now...back t reddit

That's scary spot-on
Unbelievably accurate
Also accurate
If you think any of the words he uses are 'big' you're a fucking retard to be honest
I mean you're not wrong but the amount of passion you have for Veeky Forums is really embarrassing. LIke I get it if you're like me you grew up on here and it sucks to see something that sort of feels like home get trashed by a bunch of children but and i super duper mean this internet communities are garbage and you're a silly billy for taking any of this seriously

I wish they would filter the word "reddit".

newfag

more ja/ck/ threads plz

disgusting

go to bed

>educated
Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaa

Well, to be fair sopa de macao made me giggle at first. I suppose it will be over done soon enough because We Can't Have Nice Things.